FERMMOYLLE'S PROFILE

Game designer and fantasy writer.

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Dark Souls III -> Bitten by the hype?

I approached Dark Souls 2 with a fresh mind. I was late to the party (got the game by the end of last year) and I wanted to try something like that after talking to a few friends.

I confess I was impressed, but this was caused by 1. not having played the other Souls games, and 2. not having followed the development threads and hype.

(Well, it was almost the same with Diablo III, but I digress.)

I'm not looking forward DS3 though. Not that I disliked DS2 (far from it), but I don't own a PS4 and I don't intend to purchase one so soon.

Medara's Hall of Solitude

The large white collums adorned the majestic archway by the stone path around the crystaline pond. The sight was breathtaking, and probably everything was set that way in order to provoke the feeling of being part of something greater, but Roderik Mastleen was not thinking of those matters while he slowly walked towards the entrance. Yet, if he could ever afford, he would hire an artist to paint that scene in order to keep that serenity to his eyes' reach.

His mind seemed empty, but he knew very well the turmoil he was living inside - like he was torn apart by a ravaging war. However, even he didn't know for sure why he roamed till that very part of Medara.

"I seek peace," he said as soon as he entered the Hall of Solitude, but there was no one there to listen. With his head down, he looked for a place to sit while a white stream followed its path inside the building.

"Who takes care of the caretakers?", asked a female voice. Immediately the Counselor raised his head, meeting the gaze of an old Betazoid female. "You hear the cry of the others," continued the woman, "yet you are deaf for your own cries."

"Who are you?," asked the Centauran.

"Someone who was here before you."

"I'm looking for myself here," Mastleen expression was empty.

"You won't find anything here," she said. "You must look inside yourself."

"I must have lost myself... I've felt anger and I wanted vengeance... I shouldn't..."

"Feel that way?," interrupted the woman. "What a kind of machine do you want to be?"

"Those feelings shadowed my judgement and I've acted in a unprofessional way. I could have hurt someone."

"I see your struggle, but I also see no harm was done. Why seek harm to yourself then?"

"I only seek peace."

"In the Hall of Solitude peace is found by contemplating one's own mistakes. I've found none in yourself."

"Maybe I should contemplate elsewhere then."

"I'll leave you if that may help you then," she said, leaving in silence.

As the woman left, the Centauran found himself alone once again. In fact, his thoughts were his company, but he liked to think he was alone... not dealing with someone else's thoughts. Here in Betazed people could understand him far better than his fellow counselors, as there should be no link between him and them. That was the reason why he didn't trust his feelings to his junior officer or even a well programmed hologram.

But he knew he was spending too much time there looking for answers he knew he wouldn't find. With a deep sigh, he then stood and walked to the exit of the Hall of Solitude.

However, as soon as he motioned towards the archway, he noticed another Betazed woman coming, yet she seemed to be a lot younger than the one who left earlier. With a small nod, Mastleen greeted her and passed by, but she grabbed his arm.

"Roderik?", she asked, surprised.

"Jemma?", he said, in return, more surprised than she was.

The duo looked to each other for a moment or two, trying to fit the pieces of their own lives. "I've never thought I'd find you here," she said with a nightingale voice. "I've thought you were on a starbase..."

"For a while, yes...", his voice was firm, but his eyes betrayed him. "But you know I don't like to be held on a place for too long... and a ship was the best place to be, so I took the chance."

*You didn't change a bit*, she thought, projecting her thoughts into Mastleen's mind.

*Neither you, but that doesn't change the things*, his thoughts were full of sorrow.

*You know I don't like seeing you that way... it wasn't our fault.*

"Oh, if we find the guilty maybe I'll feel better then...", he said, looking away.

"That was not what I meant, and you know that, Roderik", she tried to reach him, putting her hand on his shoulder, but he stepped away.

"I didn't have a say back then. You were the only one who could discuss the situation but you evaded the subject."

*Don't begin using psychological terms with me, Rod...*

"And don't call me Rod. That nickname was lost in the past," tears began to form in his eyes, but he managed to keep them on their place.

*Damn you, Roderik Mastleen, I didn't come here to fight or to open your scars.*

*What do you know about scars? You had a wonderful life...*

"Don't talk about things you don't know, you... you...", she also had tears, but Mastleen could hardly see them.

"How could I know? You shut me out of your life, Jemma... You were the one who walked away!"

His voice echoed in the Hall of Solitude, but there was no one else to hear them. Yet the night was already falling and soon someone would come to light the cerimonial candles.

*I became the matriarch, Rod... I had duties to my family.*

*And I could have stayed with you if you wanted... I could have left the 'Fleet and Alpha-Centaury and everything else...*

*You know the situation was not so simple!*

"We were talking about love, Jemma! At least I was the one who loved back then.", he raised his voice for a moment, but lowered in the sequence.

*I loved you...*, then her face was filled with sadness, but she didn't projected her following thought to him: *I /still/ love you.*

"Now it doesn't matter, anyway...", he said, looking towards the crystalline pond. "I need to go back."

"No!", she said, holding his arm. *Too much time had passed, but we still need to talk.*

"I don't have anything to say, Jemma. I've found what I was looking for here."

*I didn't!*, she was almost begging for help.

"You just got here... Try to focus on your quest and you'll be rewarded."

*By Imza, you fool! You own me a minute or two!*

"Don't pray for Imza when Tholta turns the back to you!", he wanted to feel anger, but he couldn't, not matter how much he tried.

"Can't you see? The Four Deities brought us together once again..."

*They are practical jokers, Jemma.*

"Don't be an heretic, Rod."

"I've told you before. Don't call me Rod."

*Why do you flee?*, once again she seemed to beg for help.

"You didn't give me a good reason back then. I don't think you deserve an explanation."

*Damn, Roderik! You know I can feel what is going on! I know there's more under your skin than you want to reveal.*

"Yes! There's more!", he said, jaw closed. *Will you dig into my memories and past too? Will you rape me by inside?*

"No!", she exploded in tears. "You know I've never did that! I've never tried to uncover the scars of the past..."

*Your very presence here did that, Jemma...*, he was crying too, but he kept the distance. "I'll go back to the Atlantis now. Take care."

And while he walked away, Jemma had her burst of tears. Almost running, she went inside and kneeled by the white stream, crying.

*I've never had a chance to tell him...*

*Tell him what?*, asked the same Betazoid woman who was there before.

*Tell him I went here to mourn the loss... Tell him my marriage was now over... and that I could now return to his arms...*

*The moons over Medara have converged, young one... And maybe the Four Deities already had planned a different path for you... If Their Will allows, you'll find him once again...*

With each word spoken, another tear rolled by Jemma's face. And there she lied until no more tears could form...

**********************************
The above was written in July, 2009, when I took part on a Play-by-Forum RPG based on Star Trek. My character at the time was Lt. (j.g.) Roderik Mastleen, Counselor of the USS Atlantis. I have fond memories of those days, but then I was able to log every day and contribute to the storyline.

Post an insane lie about the person above you

Seiromem is actually a Sailor Scout, but lost his Magical Apparatus and now can't transform anymore.

What Videogames Are You Playing Right Now?

author=Pizza
Just finished off Legend of Dragoon for the first time.

It was a great game. The last battle is one of the longests I've seen (it didn't help I lost the first time and did to re-battle the whole thing).

What I'm playing on my PS3:
-Dark Souls II
-MLB 2015

And on Android:
-Neko Atsume (yes, just judge me)

Whatchu Workin' On? Tell us!

Finishing the Game Design Document of my current unnamed project (RM2K3). The main areas (and what you can do when you reach there) are defined, as well as the conflicts in each one.

This gives me directions: now I know the scenarios, I need to find good chipsets (tilesets) to represent them; now I know the main conflicts, I need to find battlers...

So far I'm writing the game in Portuguese. If there's a way to include a bilingual possibility, I'd happily translate a few things. However, I'm not aware of how this can be accomplished in this maker.

Here I am

Is this working?

*taps microphone*

Ok, here I am. And, to paraphrase a good book, the best introduction is always to say who you are. So...

Call me Fermmoylle.

Yes, double M, double L. Old nick used since modems cringed while trying to connect with an astounding 28.8kbps speed. Yes, I'm old. I look to all these kids around me and think they should get off of my lawn.

On the top of it, I'm Brazilian, so forgive me my bad English. I do try my best to learn every day.

My earliest RPG Maker experiences date back to RPGM95--as an user.--RM2K gave me my first attempt at creating a game (at the time, a groundbraking game using RTP only, one of the first games made in Portuguese, called "A Ășltima Dama do Fogo"--The Last Lady of Fire, in a rough translation.--the game was based on a novel I was writing at the time. And yes, I'm also a writer, with a few published titles under my real name--Marcelo Paschoalin).

Then I just faded out in the lurking part of the net. I've browsed many RPG Maker forums, I've saw the rise of RM2K3, RMXP, VX, and ignored VX ACE and the newest kid. I liked to read about the systems, the scripts, the curious things creative people liked to do...

And last night, out of nowhere, I've found out RM2K3 was on Steam. Now, you must know I'm mostly a console gamer (nowadays I have a PS3, but I started on an old Atari 2600), and the only game I owned on Steam was Age of Mythology (for research and nostalgic purposes).

Back on my youth, there was no localization of RM2K. I only knew about the software because some Russian guy nicknamed Don Miguel decided to translate the whole thing by not so legal means (to put it lightly). So, the idea of buying RM2K3 started as a simple retribution to the original company: "I was not able to purchase RM2K in the past, but now I can. So, let's do it."

So, here I am. A 36-years old Brazilian novelist who is thinking once again about creating a game. Maybe after all these years lurking (and writing dark fantasy books) I still have the mojo to develop something.

Now, let me give you some random info. I'll state below 2 truths and 1 lie. Consider it a game. Just reply to this topic with the statement you think it's false and let's see if, in a week, you gain a marvelous no-prize.

Also, feel free to ask me anything. I promise I'll answer everything game related.

So here are the 3 statements:
-I own 10 cats and was named Crazy Cat Overlord by one of my friends 'cause of this.
-I'm a Psychologist and I've earned a trophy as best goalkeeper in my youth.
-During an emergency, I helped a lady to give birth to his son--he was named after me.
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