KONRADIX'S PROFILE

I want you all to rate my story to my new game. If its Bad then tell me how to improve it.


A known today civilization is technologically extended world. Everywhere modern buildings, Factories of Robots and the new invention: mechanic bodies which are supposed to change the future. Paralysed people will be able to walk, blinds will see, deaf persons hear... It would be a huge step for the mankind... and at least this was the way citizens seen it...

Authorities had other vision... vision of the conquest. The metal body was supposed to have ten-times strength of the ordinary man gifted to tear trees out, to destroy houses. Such abilities would let Markadsa masters conquer Derrir Hushil and Talisab. Unfortunately or fortunately the Talisab king heard about these plans and he started the war with Markadsa. Derrir Hushil was not-agreed from Talisab, but after hearing Markadsa's plans a temporary alliance with Talisab was concluded. Two states were ready for the war, but they not-appreciated Markadsa's power. The hostile state conquered the considerable Derrir Hushil part dividing the state to two parts as much weakened the defence of this country. Talisab repaid destroying the south-west part of the city under the deceptive attack from the north side from Derrir Hushil. Years later wars of the state announced the peace with themselves. Cities slowly stayed rebuilt. Everything would seem to go again on the good road. Unfortunately the human greed knows no bounds. Among others therefore former Soldier, Rufus Dain will be entwined into the mission which will change his current path of his life.


Im Polish so therefore I've used translator. Please answer quick.