They told me I was mad when I said I was going to create a spidertable. Who’s laughing now!!!
Hi I do art mostly but also do games.

Please read my comic, Patchwork and Lace. It's about a Lovecraftian Disney Princess dark mage and her superpowered undead partner hunting monsters and being bad at communication.
Yume Wheeky
What do guinea pigs dream about? Probably not this, but just roll with it.



G Review

If walking around and learning more about the world and its people wasn't engaging to someone, that's really just too bad.

As I expected, you didn't bother listening to any of my criticism, you just focus on "You don't get it, maaaan!"

My criticism:
"(I am)* someone with a really high tolerance of- and interest in- what this game is trying to be."

"This is a disappointment, because the splat on the gamepage sounds super interesting- a floody land? Mysterious and sudden disappearances? Unfortunate gifts? Heck yeah! Unfortunately, the game just doesn't have anything outstanding to it. "

"There's a tedious amount of space, given that the gameplay involves so much walking (slithering) around. It feels empty- not in the lonely and desolate sense, but in the “art director couldn't be bothered to add any details” sense. "

"The art is also just not that good to look at. "

"The character sprites are unclear- not an asset in a setting where things are intended to be strange"

"The art issues wouldn't be much of a problem if the writing were great. . . . G is not brilliant. It relies entirely too much on telling, rather than showing. . . . This is all stuff that could be really interesting if the player could see it play out, rather than just being told what's going on."

"The tedium of the notes- plonk...... plonk...... plonk...... plonk......- as I slooooowly slithered around an uninteresting island talking to uninteresting characters served to push me even further from any engagement with the game."

In summary:

"The game is an exercise in wandering, a walking simulator lacking the interesting scenery that is that genre's entire purpose. "

This is the important thing, what you are missing when you focus on how people did not "get" your artistic vision: if your game is supposed to be about wandering an area and getting an idea of what's going on, then the area should invite wandering on its own. The information being dispensed should be interesting. There should be a reason for the player to keep going, beyond "Welp, I guess I need to because the game seems to want me to."

If you want people to wander in your game, you CANNOT make the setting as small, empty, and uninviting as you have in G. You CANNOT write NPCs with one line that's just the most basic exposition with no writing finesse or real hint of character. And it is absolute IDIOCY to add on top of this beige laziness a single track of the least interesting music possible.

I am ALL ABOUT wandering around and learning more about worlds; I love Yume Nikki, which is explicitly that. I commonly ignore plot in games solely for the joy of exploring and seeing what the devs have done to build the world and develop NPCs. Shit, I have obsessively mapped the town of Silent Hill because that setting is so fascinating and appealing.

You have not failed because your audience "doesn't get it" or "doesn't want to play a walking simulator." I am your intended audience, and you have failed at making a game that I was already inclined to enjoy engaging on any level.

*Dang BB code makes it hard to elide things properly. Please assume parentheses are brackets.

G Review

Also, to be clear, sooz probably should've finished your game, but if she thought that what you had presented to her was enough to make her quit then her analysis up to that point is also valid. The review seems fair in general until the part where she gave you a rating in my opinion.

I don't think I need to see all of a really poorly made game to be able to determine that it is poorly made. I cannot imagine an ending that would make up for all the flaws that I ennumerated in my review. It's a tedious slog of a game, with the least amount of effort put into everything.

Even if the ending is the most transcendent experience possible, if the way to it is "wander slowly around a boring setting talking to boring characters who mostly only say one line, trying to figure out what the game wants you to do next, all the while listening to a soundtrack that makes one yearn for the excitement of Philip Glass," then the game is bad.

G Review

I know from the menu that his name is Sir Eel, which is just offensive on multiple levels,
Can you explain this?

It is a really, really bad pun. Really bad. Terrible. Also awful. Also also super dumb.

I'm surprised that all the people that I've seen comment on this game don't get it. I'm also surprised that everyone cleaved so hard to the religion element of this game when there's supposed to be an overwhelming sense of government. There are many facets of what constitutes the G man and his governance.

I'm gonna say that if multiple people are not "getting it," perhaps you have not done a good job of making it gettable.

I mentioned the music in passing. It is abysmal: a single, slow, tuneless track of random vibraphone tones, incessantly repeating. In a way, it's almost brilliant, in that its lack of any kind of direction, sense, or aesthetic value perfectly reflects the feeling of the game itself. The tedium of the notes- plonk...... plonk...... plonk...... plonk......- as I slooooowly slithered around an uninteresting island talking to uninteresting characters served to push me even further from any engagement with the game.
Perhaps that's what I was going for? I don't see this as a bad thing.

If you are going for something, and it is an abomination to all that is good and true in the world, it is still bad.

Like, after I submitted this, I read the other review, and saw your refuge in "satire," but, dude... satire only works if it is clear, at least to most people, that it is satire. If you make a bad game, you haven't made a satire of bad games, you've just added another bad game to the world.

Weird and Unfortunate Things are Happening Review

I mean, she took over a goddamn cannibalistic tribe and had them thinking she was a goddess quite easily

It is not usually difficult for a goddess to convince people she is a goddess. :3

Also Miriam is like 10x more redneck than Miss Piggy ever was. :V

Weird and Unfortunate Things are Happening Review

No, it's totally Piano's fault. Because he touches himself at night.

Weird and Unfortunate Things are Happening Review

I am stumped. I have no way to explain that I'm not bothered.

Tone doesn't translate into forum posts, but the engineer part of my brain really wants to spend the rest of the evening trying to design and implement the perfect post that will adequately explain to everyone that I am not bothered.

It's taken me about twenty years of being bad at social protocol to finally start sometimes realizing that that is a bad idea.

Yeah, sometimes you gotta just accept a lost communication and force yourself to be OK with someone having the wrong idea about stuff. Such is social interaction. vOv

Weird and Unfortunate Things are Happening Review

I just wanted to resolve this lingering drama. Those were the two most efficient ways I could think of to do that.
And I just want to say there's nothing to resolve. It's not even a major problem, man. Relax.

Also, the comic Sooz posted is just a joke, so please don't take it seriously :p

The comic was inspired by this:

My verdict is everything is fine, nothing is broken, system working as intended, etc.
Isn't it yours house falling apart all the time?

ETA: In restrospect, I could probably have included the quote to make that clearer, since the comments I made that showed where I stand on stuff* went down the server drain. OH WELL, CAN'T BE BOTHERED NOW.

*That testers don't seem connected enough with a project to really merit barring them from reviews

Weird and Unfortunate Things are Happening Review


Worship unity at the church of your choice!

Weird and Unfortunate Things are Happening Review

Black Winter Review

LOL if anyone thinks the dev was going to change any of the fundamental problems with the game, banne or no.