Small "WTF is going on" Update

No worries man. I am actually stoked about this Discord game thing too so get it done now! (j/k)

Game dev is hard as hell and delays should be expected, especially on a single-dev project that isn't being funded by a publisher and with no hard deadlines. Setting a done date is a cool goal, but don't feel like you need to rush or destroy yourself to meet it.

Looking forward to learning some more lore soon and getting my filthy hands on the demo alpha.

United Nations of Gol Lore Blog Part 1

Actually, I have taken a stab at book writing. I wrote a four book series in high school. It's something like 740 pages long in total and I was working on a fifth book which was pretty long (200 pages when I stopped). Haven't done much with it lately but I had wanted to attempt to re-write it now that I have a lot more experience with writing.

Not surprised, would be interested to get more info some time.

Ah good, I was not sure if that was getting across. Yeah, I wanted to meld all of them together in a way that made some sense. A lot of people consider them competing ideologies, but really they aren't. Pieces of each exist in all three and in the other political ideologies as well. I wanted to make Galardia that 1930's type of evil, but even more so in terms of the greed, and governmental segregation of wealth classes, and the distribution of stuff.

Minsor and Galardia are easily the more despicable countries in the game's lore. While Minsor slightly atones and moderates, Galardia just continues to descend into hell and it eventually destroys them both from within and with out.

Came across loud and clear.

This is something I worked on really hard with my writing...

The amount of thought you put into this stuff is nuts. I am actually kind of excited for the writing tutorials on Youtube now. You have some really good insights on stuff. I wish more RPG Maker devs did the same, not that a lot don't but you know what I mean.

I thought I might have gone a bit too far with it, but at the same time I think it is necessary for her character to go through that event. It makes what she does later more reasonable. I had a hard time writing it though, I didn't want to like explicitly say what happened, but I wanted enough context clues for the reader to fill in the blanks.

Not for me, for other's it might. Like you said, I thought it fit the intention behind the scene well.

The Hapsburgs for example; yes, that is probably a deep history cut for this site.

Holy shit dude lmfao I did not expect to see a reference to the McChin's on

United Nations of Gol Lore Blog Part 1

Yo, I am like half way through this now but I wanted to say the more I read your writing style the more I love it. I think in this case since the time frame is so small, you novelized it even more. I honestly can't imagine what you would do if you wrote an actual book. I think it would be pretty badass.

Appreciate the content warnings too. I am not really bothered by that stuff, but if someone is at least they can be aware that it will show up at some point or choose to skip this blog entry.

I kind of like the tone you set here with Galardia and Minsor. It feels like you mixed together some of the most despicable ideological parts of fascism (the 1938 German kind), with some of the bad stuff from Communism and Capitalism. It is a really interesting take so far.

I actually think it kind of works. I can kind of tell by how carefully some things are written that you were trying not to go too far in describing things which I totally get, though I think the impact would have been greater on me if you had. I'll take this though, it is pretty damn good at framing how scummy Galardia became due to Minsor's influences.

I liked the battle scene between Bjorhwhat's his name and Jerrod. It wasn't completely perfect, but it had weight to it that I don't feel in a lot of ameture writing around battles like this. There were real stakes for both sides and the events that happen seem reasonable and due to the nature of each of the individuals fighting how the battle progresses makes sense.

Like, I like how when Jerrod gets shanked there is a pause as he feels the impact that has on his body, but due to his ancestry he is able to easily fight through his pain where as Bjorndude (I know his name, not typing it right because he is a dick) gets completely wrecked and it takes him a lot of effort at the end of the fight to do anything.

Very realistic writing based on the characteristics of each participant. I will add more thoughts after I finish reading everything.


Damn man, alright yeah that was pretty heavy, but like I said before, I think it is fair to go this dark for this. I feel like you kinda set us up for this up in the Felgarin lore. You mentioned a couple of times that Galardia was a "slaver nation" that did some reprehensible things based on information there was on Sandil and that other woman from the UNG that was part of Vasin's generals.

Personally I like stories that have dark in them, it makes them more real. Stories that are overly happy (like some of the more children focused Disney movies) I just don't find appealing because they don't feel real. Then you get something like Hunchback of Notre Dame that is insanely dark and realistic feeling.

That there is true evil in Elisnar, or was historically, just makes it feel that much more real to me. Every world is going to have its shit eras where some really f'ed stuff happens; that is just a natural thing. What really matters is what happens in response to it and at the end I think you set up nicely that things aren't going to go well for Bjornass nor Galardia (well, we know that part because the UNG exists; Galardia didn't just poof from existence).

I will say though, that shit with Lairin was rough. Actually got a bit emotional reading through that which is nuts in and of itself, but I liked that even though she did give up for a moment, that stupid bastard said something that snapped her out of it and gave her motivation to keep going.

I like how Bjornass has progressed so far from a kind of (kind of is holding up the entire world here) reasonable person with a good understanding of cause and effect to being more arrogant and more apt to say things that he knows, or did recognize in the past, will come back to bite him somehow.

Like how at the end you state that his grand idea to deal with the Golians has made the Galardian's shooketh because their leader decide to wander outside the "Sweet Home Alabama"ed (I would assume given their ideology) gene pool.

Can't imagine that not having some kind of consequences later. I keep saying this dude because it is true, the more I read of your writing style the more I love it.

Update on Next Lore Blog and Demo Update Announcement

Ah, I missed this post. No worries dude; it happens. Work you get paid for comes before the work you do for fun, I don't really mind delays due to stuff like this because it means you're surviving at least. Better than working on the game non-stop and rushing to release it because you need money coming in.

The Felgarin Empire Lore Blog Part 3

Understandable, I guess, on the details response. I also assume that as you go through the rest of the Lore Blogs, the writing might get a bit better. I know that when I actually get the motivation to write something that my first draft is shit and then I rewrite it like 10 times and that 10th time is the good one.

I like your answers to the trope questions. I feel like a lot of indie game makers don't think enough about how to use their story to advance the plot of the game now how to use it to enhance the action of the scenes. I have played enough RPG Maker games to notice when someone doesn't know how to use those effectively.

Everything I have seen from you has led me to the belief that you know how to write a good story and how to use all of the tools that writers have to structure it correctly. So I have some high expectations for the game; no pressure.

The Felgarin Empire Lore Blog Part 3

Wow, the level of thought that went into this one is a bit crazy. Like you went and fully thought out how each type of government would work and worked in how things that would happen in multiple of them would be different.

That is some crazy attention to detail. I also like how I understand some of the stuff you have talked about before better, like the annexation of Eldawine. You have mentioned that on stream a few times. Here you lay out how that came about and it dove tails nicely into the topic.

One thing I love about your writing style is that you don't let tropes just happen, if they have to happen there is a reason. Like the Church regaining some political power. In a lot of ways this could be written, this would have just happened. A big bad coming back is a seriously overused trope. Here though, there are a specific series of events, outside of the control of those in charge, and they are only remedied by giving the Church or some organization like it some of the power back and the character calls out that it is problematic.

I also like the cyclical nature of some of the plot here, like how every so often a Rafard shows up to clean up the mess other people have left behind and I like that you call it a curse (although in a different context). I always cringe when people put this plot point into their story and call it something preordained to happen. You kind of did that, but in a way that makes that the perspective of individuals in the world and not an actual story fact.

You also make a point to make the Rafard characters choose to be crowned under the name Vasin for political reasons and not because that is their actual name. I will say it again, I love the way you use tropes a lot of the time.

Pacing in this one seems a bit better, there are more details but some character details are still lacking. Once again, sprinkling in hints to other lore blogs which I love because it gets me more invested in wanting to learn more.

Overall I would say the Felgarin blogs were a pretty wild ride. I can definitely see now how what you've described about the country while doing game dev came about. This is some really interesting stuff and has me pumped to see what you can churn out for the story for the game. If it is half as interesting as this stuff has been so far, I think I am going to love it.

Oh, one more thing. I think you should include more pronunciations for things in these. Obviously you don't have to spam them into the lore, but for more unusual words it would be helpful.

Maybe release a pronunciation guide or something; it is one of my pet peeves for high fantasy games where there is no voice acting.

The Felgarin Empire Lore Blog Part 2

52,000 characters?! Jesus christ dude...

I look forward to the novelization of this game some day lmao.

The Felgarin Empire Lore Blog Part 2

I guess you weren't kidding about the length lmfao. Damn dude, it isn't NYT Bestseller level writing but I would be lying if I said I didn't get sucked into it. The pacing feels a bit better over the first one, but some places still feel a bit jerky. I don't suppose that is going to be completely fixable.

Much better job on details though I still feel you could have gone further. That said, I see more tidbits here and there hinting at future lore blogs. I really am intrigued by the Children of the Eleven Point Star and the way it progressed from just another religion to a problem feels a bit too real for these days.

But that is also what makes it cool, it is relatable which is something a lot of ameture writers struggle with. One of the feelings I am getting from your writing for this lore so far is that you are trying to be very non-anime. What I mean by that is that you're trying to keep events based around the actions of people as opposed to the trope of having demons, gods, and other such supernatural entities screwing around to cause them.

I do know that the supernatural is going to play a part in the story at points though, you talked about that with the Shadowdark when you were creating the Codex plugin demo. But I like that you are trying to not fall into that trope; almost every JRPG does in some way or another within the main plot.

Tropes are fine and it is a good trope, but it has also been used for like 28 years; something a bit different could be refreshing.

One thing I did not expect was the political intrigue. It seems mild right now, but I feel like that is something you would expand on potentially. I was also jebaited a bit here, when you stated that Felgarin was a monarchy in the title area of post 1 I assumed it was founded as one, but this post explicitly says it is something similar a mixture of Britain's and America's political systems and then transitioned to a Monarchy later.

I like that; subversion of "facts" to reveal the actual truth is a really powerful tool. The fact you are using it here means you're using it in the story as well right? I like a good twist in a story so this particular tidbit got my immediate attention.

I think the last quarter of this is the strongest though, I was thoroughly hooked at the reveal of Dorin. I also really liked the iconography of Alister looking out over the city he ruled and being a salty bitch that the people of the country hated his actions enough to come after him. It was a really interesting and rich scene that gave me a really good idea of his character; aside from all of the other horrible crap he did.

This part definitely has more "juice" to it. I don't know if that is just because it is much longer or if you actually made changes to it as well. I really hope you release something like a lore compendium with the game that has everything. I would actually pay extra for that tbh.

Looking forward to see how this wraps up.

The Felgarin Empire Lore Blog Part 1

Cool stuff. A lot more in depth than I thought it would be. That said, some sections feel a bit badly paced, but I suspect that was due to smaller events that were left out?

I also liked that you seeded in other countries and built in their influence on events relating to Felgarin. Makes the world feel very lived in, if that makes any sense. There was less visualization than I thought there would be, but at the same time I get it. Trying to break something massive down into postable and readable chunks is always hard.

My main take-aways:
Pacing could be better in some sections, normally when dealing with time jumps.

The writing lacks a bit of specificity when it comes to the characters and areas they are in. I would have like some kind of description for Sandil for example; the most I know about her is that she was one of the leaders of the Wargmat, who are a mercenary army. She seems to be old at this point in the lore based on the comparison between her and Klaius. More detail could help a lot there.

I like the world-building this is showing and how it is introducing other nations and lore within this stuff for Felgarin; I really want to know more about what happened with Galardia, for example. I also found it interesting that Elvish magic is different from Human magic. That was an interesting and focused point you were making so I guess that detail is important to the story in some way.

All of this just makes me want to play this game more! Good job, looking forward to the next part.

Lore Blogs Are Coming

Holy hell dude... I knew your lore was beefy, but 28 pages for the historical events for one of the empires in the game? Or wait, no, because you said this was just a selection of events that were the basis for the story foundation for each nation, so this isn't event everything still.

Damn, I couldn't be pushed into writing even three pages about a topic I really care about and you're over here writing what amounts to a short story book worth of content for just one nation in your game...

I still don't properly understand the breadth of the lore for this game it seems.... Jesus christ lmao

Don't worry about splitting stuff up. I think most will understand why it has to be done. I would just say to be careful about how each post leads into the next, but you are already taking that into consideration. As for what you could do for that, I kind of like your idea about the pre/during/post history but I think you could do something even more interesting.

What if you used these posts to create a large timeline for events, but without the "timeline"-ing. What I mean is, you pick a range of dates to use based on whatever you're using to determine the pre-during-post periods. You use these date ranges for all of the lore blogs for each topic that deals with historical events.

This way nerds like me can take all of that and map it out ourselves so you don't have to do some stupid shit to make it work for a blog post here on RMN and you can still go into the detail you want.

If a topic goes further back or forward than you're currently accounting for, then you create another date range that'll be used for similar occurrences.

That just feels like a more natural way to handle it and it helps deal with the problem you mentioned with your suggested solution.
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