LONESTARLUIGI'S PROFILE

author=DarklordKeinor
Isrieri and Nin8halos, you have critiques to look at. Ratty524, I wanted to let you know I had the weirdest experience. I dreamed I was playing a Mario level backwards and it was awesome. :)

When Halibabica updates your level list on the wiki, I'll post a critique of your level there.

author=Isrieri
Redd

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My Friend Likes Music Boxes-Afraid this doesn't make the cut. It breaks way too many of the “Mario rules.”

-Be straight with me, are you yankin' our chains? I thought you were just yanking our chains.

Ratty524

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Green Grass Galavant
-The first part is so boring! Even for a World 1 world! You need more breakable bricks, or something. Like platforms that are 8 blocks from the ground in a few of the more sparse areas, or a few more sizeables to make it easier to reach that hidden vine

-The two platforms on the same rail overlapped each other a lot when I playtested, which made getting the red coins a bit tricky. I do like the way you have the platforms set up though. I would just separate that one rail so it's two instead of one.

-I think you ought to have 3 1ups for getting all the red coins. 1 is not enough!

-Everything after the checkpoint is a lot more interesting, and well done. I liked the bonus room despite being so simple. You could probably afford one more somewhere, but you don't have to.

-But since this intended for World 1, I would put an invisible powerup right next to that six block high pipe. To act as a second way up it, and to have a hidden powerup. Which are awesome. And to keep that venus plant from popping up at the wrong time.

-Your level made me wish for a Star powerup more than ever before.

-For the emptier stretches of land, you ought to take a page out of Mario 1's book: Instead of just having evenly separated rows of goombas. You ought to put them in tighter formations of 3. Like a koopa and 2 goombas. Or 3 goombas that are a block away from each other (or even closer by turning off auto-align). This way it might be more feasible to chain a 1up off of them, which is what long stretches of flat land should be used for.

-Liked the springs underneath the platforms!

Deckiller

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Forest Temple
-I know that everyone's told you to make the temple background more “foresty” but I disagree on that front. I think what's bugging everyone is a disconnect from the atmosphere the music creates. I think you'd be better off just having no background. The empty black would really accentuate the mood.

-Why the 3 goombas out front? You'd be better off with nothing there.

-Nicely hidden secrets! That first invisible coin block was the last one I found.

-If you're shooting for this to be a World 2 level, that roto-disc right before the first door seems a bit tricky for this early on. You ought to take it out and put a dry bones there instead.

-Checkpoint needs to be SMW style.

-Wow! That crush ceiling moves awfully quickly! Was it always like that? I would have preferred it a little slower. But that's only a nitpick: I know it'd be a pain in the ass to fix, and it works just fine.

-But I do think it's a mistake to have the ON/OFF block trigger the ceiling. What you should do is take the Axe npc and have it trigger the ceiling. Place that on the door, so that when the player enters the room, the ceiling triggers automatically.


Fire Temple
-Now see, the tileset DOES compliment the music and mood in this stage!

-Sliding into goombas at the start. Good idea.

-Good job placing the dragon coins as well. A lot of people have been treating them like super hidden things.

-Again, this level is dynamic. That's one of the things it really has going for it: having to make blocks fall to access a new part of the level. That's some quality stuff.

-The only thing I would get rid of are those 3 npcs before the exit. They're mainly superfluous and just risk the player falling in the lava trying to talk to 'em.

-I have no other issues with this one. I think this would work just fine for World 4 or 5.

nin8halos

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The Scream
-I honestly don't have any problems with this one. It's really good. I cannot make ghost houses.

seiromem

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Cursed Funklen
-Too many enemies! And once again we go back to your biggest problem: You leave the player no margin for error! You have to be PERFECT to beat this. That or clairvoyant. But the actual idea for your level is pretty good. Haunted woods right? That can still work, but here's what you need to do:

-Take out all the propeller goombas. And never use them again. You're not good at placing the floaty enemies. You're strength lies in more static enemies like the spiders and the fish. Keep those the same.

-Take out all of the spawning ravens. They are overkill and unecessary: You should let the enemies you already have do the work.

-Oh. And always remember to never put a secret in a pipe that spawns enemies. That's not good. It should just be an empty pipe or a piranha pipe only, because it's possible for the spawning enemies to get a cheap hit in.

-The hammer bros need to throw hammers. Consistency!

-I would also take out the first hammer bro right at the start. He doesn't really do anything.

-You need to have about two more powerups after the checkpoint. Right now, there's only one at the checkpoint.

-Right now, the level requires way too much precision. But after you change those, it will be A LOT more fair. And yet still a challenging level. I'll take another look afterward.


Mega Mole Mountain
-This is pretty good! I'm not a fan of the way you placed the falling spikes, but that's because I'M CRAAAZY. They were a good idea, and a great gimmick for you level. I think this is close to being ready to go.

-First! The starting screen should just be one screen. Don't let it scroll higher when mario jumps: People will think there's something up there.

-I'm surprised how well the music works. Good pick. The mixture of the brown cave and the tan bricks also looks very nice!

-Slow the second mole generator down to 3.5 seconds. 2 is too fast.

-AUGH! I hate when I have to bomb bricks like that. Especially when all I get for it is a lousy Dragon Coin and Leaf. Change the powerup into a tanooki suit and make it the big ? Block instead of a big brick. And make the yellow pipe lead to a sweet bonus room where some moles are dancing. Something to make bombing those bricks WORTH IT. (Seriously, bombing bricks in the second world is why I stopped playing War Factories)

-As for where you have that Dragon Coin, you ought to make it into a 3up moon, and just have the player glide down there with a leaf or something. I dunno.

-No plain mushrooms in blocks in this game.

-Y'know how you have the 4 big moles right after the checkpoint? You should get rid of the one farthest right.

-I don't know how you got those tiny moles to hop when there's nothing to hop over, but well done!

-The up section isn't too bad. It could use one more powerup halfway up. And I'd get rid of that big mole at the bottom.

-The mole generator should be at 3.5 seconds. The platforms should be at 7 seconds. And I would also get rid of that one spike you have on the top of the first crusher. It looks tacky and is more annoying than anything else.

-I would have preferred it if the level exit was outside on the top of the mountain. But whatever, what you have works just fine. Good job with this one!

jackalotrun

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The Void
-Jack, you have to stop forgetting to put the Start Location back to the start. It's getting a little old to boot up a level by you and start at the midpoint.

-I will give you one thing: This is a creative stage. I kind of liked Vivid Void in RMN3. The only problem with that was how boring it was. This is much better, although there are still things I don't like. BTW, it definitely fits the End Goal criterion. Nice idea.

-You did an excellent job with the p-switch and coins, but I don't know why you've got red coins in there. You ought to just take them out. I'd also make a layer of Coins in the shape of an arrow that point up. So the player knows where to go.

-All of your moving water is really neat. I especially liked the two narrow water thingies.

-Y'know that hidden 1up you have under the wood platform? Have some coins underneath the platfrom that lead down to the 1up. It isn't obvious, but it's a bit more of a clue.

-That little area where the key is has way too many fish. You need to get rid of most of them. Also, don't have them swim up and down like that when the passageway is so narrow. I was able to get past them just fine, but most people will not.

-That Dragon Coin down there with the bloopers isn't a good idea. NO ONE will go for it. Put above the middle donut block instead. Make the players risk getting hit by the fish.

-Make it so that the springs generate after 7 seconds...Actually, why do the springs generate to begin with?! That's a big pet peeve of mine: If you don't need them to generate, they shouldn't!

-Ironically, the most unique and interesting part of your level is also the weakest as of now: The water elevator. I like the idea a lot, but first off you need a ceiling. If the player can hop out of the elevator, they can get stuck. So make sure to have a ceiling spawn when the elevator starts, and go away when it stops.

-The bullets aren't working. You can't have bullet bills on a stage that wraps because they'll keep building up. It looks romhacky. You need to just have the roto-discs or think of something different.

-The part just after that with the water on the ceiling is my favorite bit! But the firebar out in the middle of nowhere looks weird since it's the only one you have. Just put spikes there instead.

-Once again, great idea for finishing the level! Lower the Top border so that the camera stops moving once you get to the top.

-And that's about it. I think the level will be all set after those changes. (You could really use a better name though. One that has more to do with water.)

DarklordKeinor

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Simplicity
-I couldn't find a whole lot to critique here. It's a solid level, and REALLY pretty. Is that Dark Cloud 2 music? If so, you are the man.

-The only real thing I would change is to put more coins in the bonus rooms. The one hidden by the p-switch only has 9. How stingy! You ought to double it, or even triple it since it's a hidden room. Same with the second bonus.

-And my only nitpick is that it goes on a bit too long for just happy-happy-fields-yay. I'd recommend a few more block structures along the way that the player can go poking around in, or some pipe structures like they had in SMB3.

-Consider this approved though. That background is REALLY pretty, man.

masterofmayhem

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Bridge Over The Horizon
-It's about time someone made a flying fish level, or else I was going to have to do it. And we don't want that.

-I really don't have too much to complain about here. For a first time fish-bridge stage, this is pretty good! I like how it's a suspension bridge.

-The first half of the level is great and I have nothing bad to say, but the second half runs on a bit too long. You need to have something break the pacing up. Some brick blocks along the bridge's rails for instance. Something for the player to explore and poke around in. A few pipes might be a good idea, down in the water, that extend up into the bridge. Those might be more interesting to jump over than just the blocks and bullet bills. You could probably think of another way to spice up the latter half of the level, like added some sizeables or something, but it's probably better for you to think up something yourself. You're a creative guy.

-Not much else to say otherwise. I like flying fish levels. I have no clue where this would go. World 4 or 5, at least.

apa649

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Feel the Heat
-Now here's a concept I have never seen before. Neat!

-The first thing I recommend to you is to take out all the bullet bills. They're kind of overkill, and your level doesn't need them.

-The first half is definitely the strongest. It was amazing and I loved it. Moving parts in mario levels makes everyone happy. The only things I would remove is the roto-disc. Make it into a blargg or something. And get rid of the lava that connects the two orange pipes.

-I'm not fond of the skull rafts that go to the left. They're okay, but I think they'll catch a lot of people off guard. Up to you.

-Nice hidden yoshi!

-The part with the rising lava is interesting, but I don't know why it's so big. I like it like that, it's neat! I would set the skull rafts to Don't Move though, or else the player could trigger them early and have them move across the floor.

-Good work with this one!

GloopMaster

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Koopas On High
-This one wasn't too shabby. It is a little on the easy side, but that's mostly due to how short it is. It wouldn't be out of place in World 1.

-You made the terrain nice and interesting without cluttering the screen up or using a buttload of custom graphics. That always makes me happy.

-You also don't have enemies EVERYWHARE like some people make the mistake of doing. Only where you need them. So good job there.

-I think the big problem here is that you were going for a level more like Mario 3. Those were a lot shorter because they didn't have any checkpoints in the stages. Since we're going for a more Mario World type game here (and because we have checkpoints!) you could afford to have more content. But how much more?

-What you ought to do is this: I think right where you ended the stage should actually be the halfway point. Take the screen borders and extend them to the right. Don't hold SHIFT.

-While you're doing that, count: 1-Mississippi, 2-Mississippi, 3-Mississippi, 4. Stop on 4.

-Once you fill that space up with a bit more content, the level ought to be a better length. Don't just make it more of what you did before though: Think of it like a whole new Mario 3 level. Try something new out. Maybe add some water, or incorporate more slopes mario can slide on.

-Otherwise, this is well on it's way to getting approved.


Bowsers Air Fleet
-This one though, I did not like. Not because it was easy but because it wasn't very fun. Very flat and boring in the beginning, and the second half just felt weird because of the castle bricks you used. Airship levels are hard to make. I think this is one you'd be better off scrapping.

-There's more moving enemies than I would like. Lots of piranha plants, enemies, fireballs. All kinds of crud. Airships ought to have only a few moving enemies, and more projectiles like bullet bills, bomb cannons, or a few well placed koopas or something like that. They aren't supposed to be too frantic. At least in my opinion.

-Not enough coin blocks or powerups!

-The sideways bullet cannons made me laugh, but I wish they shot bullets instead of bombs. Me or the other judges could probably help you with that later on down the road.

-And then everything after the checkpoint was just weird looking, plus the enemies that you used were more appropriate for castles than for an airship. Felt very romhacky.


Fishy Smell
-This wasn't too bad at all! I think this might be your strongest level thus far. Water levels are tricky to design, and although it honestly is a little boring, I think this is a fine level nonetheless. (I would put it in World 3 though)

-Since the first powerup is hidden, you need to have another powerup that is visible. Maybe in a block right after you go in the pipe.

-You have to be careful with ice blocks in SMBX: Because you can't shoot fireballs really fast, they become really boring and really tedious to melt. You don't need the coins in ice blocks here, they should just be regular coins.

-It's a pretty decent pipe maze you set up. But you shouldn't have Dragon Coins by themselves hidden away. Dragon Coins aren't that special, and no one is going to go out of their way to look for them. So if you want to put them inside a bonus room, you need more stuff inside than just that. Maybe another powerup, or a bunch of coins. Something more worthwhile.

-You hid your 1ups in good spots!

-There's a sideways plant blocking a pipe at the start of the second underwate part. If you can't go in that pipe, you shouldn't have a plant up there: People will think there's a secret there, and if there isn't one and they get hit, it will be unfair.

-The very last Jumping Piranha Plant before you reach the exit goes up into the ceiling. And he shouldn't. So I would get rid of him and that pipe. You don't need 'em there.

-Make the powerup by the checkpoint visible.

lonestarluigi

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Snow Problem
-No SMW stars.

-The level itself isn't too bad, but you need something to spice it up a bit more. I think it would be neat to use more flying enemies for this stage. You can select a koopa with wings, and by clicking the “Advanced” button, you can select how you want it to hover. Don't use the “Chase” setting though, because those are way too hard for a level like this.

-Put a few of those up in the sky, or in some key parts of the level. The ones up in the air don't have to do anything, but it would look better. Plus, since you have all that space up in the air, flying enemies would be good as obstacles.

-Speaking of which, you need to put more stuff up in the sky! Just the one Dragon Coin isn't enough! You need some more cloud platforms, coins, or what have you. Anything you can think of. You could put an entire second level up there! If you don't, it's just empty space that's going to waste.

-Your bonus rooms are pretty boring right now, but they don't have to be! It's not a good idea to just make lines of ice and have the player run back and forth: That's no fun. Think of more entertaining ways of getting the coins. Maybe have some donut blocks so the player has to be careful getting them, or else they'll fall and miss their chance. Or maybe have brick blocks the player needs to break to get up to the coins.

-Don't forget to make the black End Goal background go all the way up. You don't want players flying up there and seeing that it just stops. They'll think you suck. The same goes for the screen not ending at the Star: Be sure to take the Right level border and pulling it back so the star is in the middle of the screen when you reach the end of the level.


Molten Lava Desert
-First, get rid of that mushroom and toad at the start. You should make the player get the powerups themselves, since that's playing the game. Don't automate the process for them unless you're doing something super-special. Toad just bothers me, and I think the level would be cooler if you didn't try to explain the lava.

-The first half of the level is okay. But it's a little boring, and I think I know just the way to spice it up: You should have a Red Boot or two in here somewhere. Since there's lava everywhere, this would be a great level to introduce the Red Boot! It would make the level more fun too.

-Take the Bottom level border, and extend it 3 tiles down. There's spots in your level where the floor is only one tile from the bottom of the screen. That's not really a big deal, but most people think it looks bad. You should always try to have at least 2 tiles of ground at the bottom of the screen. By extending the border and filling in that space, the problem will be solved!

-Don't put lava on the same level as the ground or pipes: They should always be one tile below. Otherwise the player can put a toe of the edge of their block and die. SMBX is glitchy like that.

-The hammer bros after the checkpoint are badly placed...well, they're placed in good spots to KILL the player, but we don't want that. You put them underneath blocks, but don't leave the player any way to get around them. I can't get past that one hammer bro that throws hammers over the big pipe. And if I can't get past it, it's impossible.

-The level's also really short. You need to make it a little bit longer. Just extend the screen right for two seconds, and make some more content for that part. You can do more with the Red Boot that way!

-Most importantly: The level needs more bonus rooms! You can't just have all those pipes and not stick a secret somewhere!

author=nin8halos
Okay, time to review some levels. I appear to be coming down with something, so you'll have to excuse me if I seem impatient/insane.

DarklordKeinor's Simplicity

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This level was almost perfect. I am jealous. Feels a bit too long for an early level though. Also the springboards only bend on the left side, so when you put them sticking out to the right and the player jumps on them it doesn't look good.
Your selection of music and graphics give me hope for this project.

Davenport's Inferno

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*sobs quietly*

Davenporn's Paradise Beach/Shores

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Which is the correct title? Your zip folder and your level folder have different titles.
Blowfish revert to spiny eggs upon death. Was it necessary to resprite the mushrooms? It doesn't have a purpose. Change it back. I like the feel of the level, but there are so many problems with it. Others have already addressed this, so I won't say anymore until those things are fixed.
I do like riding the shiny block though. That was nice.

GloopMaster's Koopas on High

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First of all, the checkpoint should be halfway through the level, not a couple screens from the end. Make the level longer or move the checkpoint back. The angles of the terrain are very awkward in some places. Those three mushroom platforms under the flipblocks look really cluttered and are unnecessary. You could get away with one. The goalposts at the end look out of place. Raise the star up too. It looks awkward that close to the ground. Gameplay is fine, but the aesthetics aren't so great in a few areas. SMB3 brick blocks are also out of place in SMW-style level. You could resprite them or something if you want to keep them there.

Isrieri's Glazed Donut Road

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The level starts out bland and flavorless. Add some more background objects. Good level design overall. It's too easy to skip most of it though, since there are cloud paths overhead with many delicious coins. The hoppin' Chuck was a nice touch, but he's hovering off the pipe a bit for some reason. I also like what you did with the rising and falling pipes. You should help me out with SMWX, since I've pretty much exhausted my creativity. But that's for another time.
I like the underground section. The fish were completely unnecessary, but it's little extra things like that that make a level taste good.
Also you should totally change the color scheme to look like a glazed donut. That would be sweet.

Pyrodoom's Heavy Metal Harbor

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That's what you should have called it anyway, cuz it would be awesome.
First complaint: This is way too hard for World 1. It's at least a 3. At least.
Somehow the flying bloopers don't make sense to me. Not in this stage. It would be better with moving blocks, crush traps, stuff like that. I love the custom graphics, by the way. I'd suggest moving this level up a few worlds and elaborating on it. The conveyor belt part was cool, but otherwise empty. Also make sure Mario can easily jump out of all the water pits. I almost got stuck in one of them right behind a fire-hammer Bro.
One last thing: that section where you climb the platforms to get to the Toad and his rocket is boring. I'd suggest mixing it up a lot. This level has great potential.

Memories's Mega Mole Mountain

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No one is going to go through that much effort to get the third Dragon Coin. The giant block near that pipe also has only a mushroom. Remember, it needs to have a flower/leaf.
The pipes are all grainy. Your image editing was done wrong.
The SMB3 black background at the end is barely even there. I'd say it doesn't count. Do it right.
Good level overall though.

LoneStarLuigi's Snow Problem

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This level is 90% coins. No one is going to spend half an hour hitting all those blocks over and over and over again.
And what's with the end of the level? It just keeps going past the star, over a cliff, and then onward into oblivion. And there's nothing there!

Deckkiller's Forest Temple

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The checkpoint should be SMW styled. You also need to fix the ending because it doesn't conform to the rules. It also might be better in World 3. Maybe. It's an okay level though. I don't like or dislike it.

Deckkiller's Forest Temple

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If you continue from the checkpoint, you get stuck forever.
Change the checkpoint and ending. It's almost like you designed these levels for a different game and them stuck them in here.

NOTE TO ALL PARTICPANTS (including myself)
It seems that a lot of you (including myself) forget to allow carryable NPCs through your warps. So go change that.