Pick Apart My Game Plot (quick and consise version)

A party travels to throw a ring into a volcano.
No wait...
Now for mine:

In a heavily religious world, a party travels to escort a nun on her pilgrimage to a shrine to pray for rain for a kingdom that has turned to desert after 5 years of no rain.

That is the bottom line.

Now for the conflict:

Not everyone believes that prayer can help the world. It is believed that an artifact can pour never ending water to replenish their streams and seas. The party is joined by a thief that killed for the artifact. He refuses to give the artifact up and his faction is mercilessly killed by 3 men who want the artifact back. The thief brings danger to the party and his own brother in the party as they are chased across the kingdom by the men that want this artifact back.

There are 2 ways to save the world, but along the way, it branches into multiple ways. The following characters are the tent poles that hold up the entire game.

Cylanda Ferni is the nun that believes what the majority of the kingdom believes. Prayer to the goddess can help the kingdom.

Nathan Stone is the protector assigned to escort her safely. He is duty bound to the mission.

Tupaul Davis is the assistant to Stone, not bound by duty but wants to save the world in one way or another.

Charm Davis is the little brother and thief that has his own motivations for keeping the artifact that lead to his clan's demise.

Dice (Daniel Nolan) is the charming leader of the three men that will kill to get the artifact.

Shane Golden is the sadistic spell sword that is ruthless in his desire to get the artifact.

Tell me what you think.
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