VONFRAZIER8991'S PROFILE

author=Antilurker77
Your game's screenshots do look a lot better. I'm glad you can accept criticism!

author=unity
Your game description gives a definite "too long, didn't read" feel to it. You might want to try any or all of the following:

1) Start with a simple sentence that sums up the game and why the person looking at the page should play it. Ex: "Welcome to Name of Game, a thirty-hour story-driven RPG with complex characters and where your choices actually matter."

2) Paragraph breaks would definitely make for easier reading.

3) Bullet-points or lists work well for telling us the games features.

4) We don't necessarily need all this plot information going in. You might consider trimming it or putting it on its own page if you feel its absolutely necessary.

Hope that helps ^_^

author=Sana
I knew this map looked familiar, you just used the one from Moghunter's Weather script demo. At least edit it so that it doesn't look identical if you're going to try using someone elses map as your own. :p

author=Antilurker77
Most folks around here don't like it when you official ratings for demos.