Vanilla Villain

Create a game using these themes: "pandas, antagonists and a rag tag team." a contest said. And "Vanilla villain" is one result of this great contest.

In it, you play as the girl "Vanilla", attempting to blackmail the anti-porn hypocrite (antagonist) to save your panda bosses' (PANDAS!) shady porn business (rag tag team). Now if that doesn't invite a deep story, then I don't know!

Unfortunately, this short game has never been finished, despite being tagged as complete. You get fairly far, perhaps 15 minutes playtime, but you neither succeed nor fail at your endeavor. Some glitches like walking over objects, text on your character portrait and a not functioning, but explained battle-world system do distract from the experience.

As you can tell at a glance, this game doesn't take itself serious at all. There is a baby sun as the symbol your panda club .. and also generally in the sky. This huge club is located right under your house and from it you teleport into a distorted world where you kill otaku (or at least fat guys looking like the stereotype), naked women and yellow stars while you explore. And find flying pans.

There are many references, and generally incredible amounts of quirky details to be found. Your nickname is "Gamecakes" for crying out loud!
For example, while driving in the car you tell your boss who calls you off because you "need to concentrate on the road" .. but have been watching TV all the time.


Yeah .. the gameworld sure is weird.

It also has these subtle hints towards gam mak, the boards and a NPC later mentions quitting the hero business (programming) in order to be work as a .. female entertainer at the club. Said club is filled with partying people.

You then get to know why porn business is integral to the pandas and why you're off to make sure the guy who filed a suit against porn will shut up. By collecting his treasured porn like "steelhard strap ones". Which is accompanied by the traditional holy chanting "haaaah", great use of sound effects!

The music itself is wonderful as well. It has a groovy beat for the most part and is fairly enjoyable. The graphics are quite nice, the scenes inbetween like the TV and the car looked pretty neat and give a nice touch. Vanilla's character portrait is gorgeous as well.

Now, you then change the scenery to some sort of eye-cancer inducing warped space (well, it's still alright, but you know the direction). All in order to teleport into that guy's mansion. In this space your health is supposed to go down every 10 seconds .. but it doesn't. You still lose hit points by touching enemies and recovery some by potions you can find in buildings or by killing 5 enemies - yep, the weird mix I mentioned already.
This warped space reflects the internet and its culture to some degree, is as warped and odd and colorful as it might be (and harmful after staying too long). Still, there isn't much to find aside enemies, very few items and a single person who has nothing to say. And a short rainbow path.

It becomes quite apparant that this part was rather rushed, you will encounter many passable walls and a general lack of the details that made the early part so enjoyable. You gain access to the perpetrator's mansion, but must realize the nice suited guy did not lie when he said that the game is unfinished.


The future for porn is lost..

I am quite unsure how to rate this game, as it is actually unfinished, but will be left as it is. I first wanted to rate it 1.5, but I'll have to consider the fun part and treat it as unfinished.
It's a very fun game for the while it lasts, with so many great touches and details in the early stage (like having a new map for your closet. It's just a more private space). But it falls short due to its later parts being barren, rushed and, ultimately, left unfinished.

Sure, it's completely ridiculous, but rightly so.