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Progress Report

Video Ad and Updates - 3/26/15




This video was actually made a while ago by mrzombieghost, AKA James, but for whatever reason it didn't occur to me to add it here. So here it is!

Now for some more updates:

I guess the weekly update thing fell down the drain pretty quickly, huh? Time passes.

Anyway, here are the things that happened:

  • First dungeon boss cutscenes finished!
  • More updated graphics!
  • Boss's difficulty greatly decreased!


We're inching even closer to a completed beta! Now it's just a matter of remaking a few maps and tying together loose ends, and a new beta will be out!

See you guys soon!

Progress Report

New Buffs - 2/23/2015

Updates on Game

Stackable buffs/debuffs! Now you can buff your character up to four times in a row during battle much like Pokemon! Additionally, these buffs last until the end of the battle!
New parts of scene written! Expect screenshots to come!

Things are still coming along smoothly, so stick by us and we'll keep you updated!

Announcement

Back in Business

Hoo boy, this is the first time in a long while we're getting an update.

Okay, so let me start off with a big announcement:

Chaos Divine is getting a new beta very soon!

And by soon, I mean it's very possible that within the next month there will be a new beta for Chaos Divine!

Both James and I apologize for taking so so long with updating this! A lot has happened in the past two year. And I mean a lot. I could go on for an entire blog detailing what's happened to both of our personal lives, but that's mostly tangential.

Regarding the game:

About a year ago, due to both James and me becoming very busy, progress on the game halted entirely. Up until a few months ago, almost nothing about the game changed. However, this month has been very productive, and I'm proud to say Chaos Divine is beginning to progress at a great pace!

Changes from the old beta to the new one:

  • Graphical update - New facesets and fullbodies!
  • New enemies implemented! (As a note, these new enemies have temporary graphics - I'm away from my usual photo-editing software)
  • New dungeon and boss implemented!
  • Improved storyline! New and changed scenes all around!
  • New method of learning skills!


Regarding updates:

Now that we both have time to work, expect weekly updates for Chaos Divine and a bunch of new pictures!

We will be looking for beta testers soon, but until then, its update time!

Announcement

Download Available!

http://rpgmaker.net/games/3873/downloads/5028/

Have fun everyone!

EDIT:

For whatever reason, in the beta available if you apply the Speed Up state, your attack becomes 0. Replace the States.rmdata file in the Data folder with this:

http://www.mediafire.com/download/aso7qb54pt6som3/States.rvdata

  • New elements: Fire, Earth, Metal, Water, Nature, Yin, Yang, Wuji.
  • New Modes option: Swap between two elemental modes, which changes stats, elemental weaknesses, and elemental strengths@
  • Elemental Strengths: Depending on your current mode, moves of a certain element get a 33% increase in power!
  • Redone character moves!


A few things to know before going in:

  • Not all skills have animations yet.
  • Once you get to Kynia, consider the beta to be over. As of right now we're replanning the dungeon ahead.


--

If you want to help test

Pick a category:

Balance Tester
  • Determine if certain moves or move combinations are too powerful.
  • Determine if enemies are too powerful or too weak.
  • Determine if the leveling curve makes sense.
  • Determine if certain strategies break the flow of the game.


Glitch Tester
  • Find glitches and bugs in the game's programming.
  • Find any wonky passage settings.


General Tester
  • Play through the game like normal.
  • Point out any major issues with the game.


For all testers
  • Say whether or not you like the story so far.
  • Tell us if you enjoy the game or not!
  • Try to give us suggestions for the game.


--

For returning testers, not too much has changed in terms of the story, so the best that you can do is play through the game like normal.

Announcement

New Beta Coming Soon!

Hello everyone!

I'm terribly sorry that there hasn't been much updates on here. James and I have been incredibly busy with school and our personal lives, as well as with a huge block. But now that we're back, we'd like to announce something important.

Chaos Divine is going public with its new beta!

Additionally, there's been a rather huge redux in terms of battling balance.

  • New elements: Fire, Earth, Metal, Water, Nature, Yin, Yang, Wuji.
  • New Modes option: Swap between two elemental modes, which changes stats, elemental weaknesses, and elemental strengths@
  • Elemental Strengths: Depending on your current mode, moves of a certain element get a 33% increase in power!
  • Redone character moves!


A few things to know before going in:

  • Not all skills have animations yet.
  • Once you get to Kynia, consider the beta to be over. As of right now we're replanning the dungeon ahead.


--

If you want to help test

Pick a category:

Balance Tester
  • Determine if certain moves or move combinations are too powerful.
  • Determine if enemies are too powerful or too weak.
  • Determine if the leveling curve makes sense.
  • Determine if certain strategies break the flow of the game.


Glitch Tester
  • Find glitches and bugs in the game's programming.
  • Find any wonky passage settings.


General Tester
  • Play through the game like normal.
  • Point out any major issues with the game.


For all testers
  • Say whether or not you like the story so far.
  • Tell us if you enjoy the game or not!
  • Try to give us suggestions for the game.


--

For returning testers, not too much has changed in terms of the story, so the best that you can do is play through the game like normal.

Progress Report

Update + Wambu Combo RPG Review!

Hello all who are still following this game!

Sorry for the COMPLETE lack of activity. School was a pain in the butt, and both James and I have our own little projects we're both doing, me with a webcomic that's currently stuttering and James with college and his own art projects.

Now, to start, some updates on Chaos Divine!

  • Complete rebalancing of enemies. Battles are now much shorter, albiet slightly more difficult, and there is more EXP given per battle, meaning there are less battles you need to go through!
  • Complete skill overhaul. Now there are 20 skills per each element, 40 normal skills that can be assigned to all enemies and playable characters, along with plenty of unique moves for all characters and enemies!

  • Redone skill slots. Now four skills can easily be assigned without arbitrary "costs," and there are eight different skills to choose from from the get-go!

  • Redone stat increasing. Now each point assigned gives a buff of 5% per, with a maximum of a 20% buff per stat, which can be reassigned at any time!

  • Planned feature: Enemy Knockouts! Instead of having to battle the enemy, you can knock them out, raid them for specific items, and even disguise as them and go into disguise-only areas!


And that's basically that with Chaos Divine. Now, onto another thing that I think will show a bit more prominance...

James and I are doing an RPG Playthrough / Review series called Wambu Combo!

Once or twice every week, we'll be picking up an RPG Maker game straight from this website and give it a spin as we play through it and give critiques and overall thoughts. We already played through the featured game Ill Will, and we're planning to do Miserere next. Follow us if you want to come watch us! We'll get our videos edited and posted onto youtube soon enough.

Announcement

We are alive!

First off, happy Thanksgiving to all those who celebrate it!

Secondly, we're terribly sorry we haven't been active on here. Schoolwork's been a pain for quite a while, and James has been afflicted with the accursed "Artist Block" so new content has been put on hold. We really can't say when a new beta will be coming out unfortunately, and since nothing's really been worked on in the past...two or so months since we last updated we can't guarantee anything.

However, I (Pyrofiend) have been pretty busy working on another game. It goes by the name of OMITTED. It's about a guy who died and has his fate taken away, so he has to survive in the Afterlife as existance itself tries to erase him. I'm still waiting on the game to be approved, but I have the link here:

http://rpgmaker.net/games/4568/

Not too sure if you can see it now or when it will officially be up, but this proves that we ARE, in fact, doing something.

Announcement

Questions, Answers, and Updates

Hi! This is that other guy who ISN'T pyrofiend that also makes Chaos Divine.
I wanted to just get some updates on the game out there as well as some time to answer some of the questions I personally have been asked OVER and OVER again.

So first is updates. As we already told you before, I am in college now. Lots of freedom but lots of work if that makes sense. Conor is also going through his junior year of high school! (You know, that one year of high school that REALLY sucked.)so right now we're VERY busy people. It'll take us a while to get the next beta out but I think once we get back into the swing of things it'll be back to work for us. On the bright side, I'm going to be learning more about Chaos divine so maybe I'll be able to incorporate new things into the game besides just my music and my ideas.
So that's that! I also want to take the time to answer those questions I keep getting asked.

Q: How many chapters are there in Chaos Divine?
A: Each main element get's it's own chapter. So that's Fire, Water, Earth, Air, Ice, and Lightning. We also might have another chapter where they all meet.

Q: Ice is not an element. What gives?
A: THIS will be explained in the game! In fact at the moment I'm focusing a bit more on writing the Ice chapter.

Q: What programs do you guys use to make your songs?
A: :DD Well for me, I record the rhythm with my guitar using a free program called Audacity. It's incredibly convenient and if you just google "Audacity", the download will probably be the first result. After that we add melody and other background bits using custom synths on "Mixcraft". I'm pretty sure there's a free version for this as well but it's probably more difficult to find.

Q: Can I help or test in any way?
A: Conor and I are both very accepting people :3 Stuff like writing and programming is usually just handled by one of us but if you want to express your ideas or test the game then PLEASE don't hesitate to do so.

Q: Female protagonists, WHY DO THEY NOT EXIST!!?
A: They do... They're just not in the beta yet..

Q: How will we know when you release a new beta?
A: We'll announce it as we usually do via one of these blogs or something.

Q: So do you guys live in the same place?
A: No. We're both from America obviously but we're on opposite sides of the country. He's from the West Coast and I'm on the East.

Q: DUDE YOU TROLLED THE HELL OUTTA ME! Y U DO THAT!?
A: I'm guessing this is referring to the jellyfish transformation in one of the recent betas. Believe it or not that's Jellyfish will become valuable to you.

Q: Austin is awesome and I love him!
A: Ok this isn't actually a question but.. idk I like hearing it. So thanks to all the Austin lovers out there :DD I'm glad I made a good character for you guys.



So now I leave it to you guys. :3 Any questions you wanna ask Conor or myself about Chaos Divine whether it be the game itself or the process of making it, leave a comment on this, and we'll do our best to answer it.



Announcement

Art Revamp

James has told me a while ago that he's planning on remaking the facesets and full-body picture for Austin, so I figured I might as well do the same thing for everyone else.

So yeah. Pretty pictures coming in the near future!

Oh yeah, a new beta probably won't be coming for a long while. James has college, and I'm going through my junior year in high school, so we're both going to be really busy. We'll try to come on here as much as possible though, and we'll try to update!

Game Design

RPG Cliche's: CD Style!

I got bored, so I wanted to check off the Grand List of Console RPG's and see if Chaos Divine follows any of it.

Plot-important things will be hidden for your expense.

1. Sleepyhead Rule
- The teenaged male lead will begin the first day of the game by oversleeping, being woken up by his mother, and being reminded that he's slept in so late he missed meeting his girlfriend.

(Not at all, man. He's already awake!)

2. "No! My beloved peasant village!"
- The hero's home town, city, slum, or planet will usually be annihilated in a spectacular fashion before the end of the game, and often before the end of the opening scene.

(Yes in that his house is burnt to the ground, no in that it's not really spectacular. Hell, it's kind of downplayed if you ask me.)

3. Thinking With The Wrong Head (Hiro Rule)
- No matter what she's accused of doing or how mysterious her origins are, the hero will always be ready to fight to the death for any girl he met three seconds ago.

(There are no girls in the Fire chapter! Harr harr harr!)

4. Cubic Zirconium Corollary
- The aforementioned mysterious girl will be wearing a pendant that will ultimately prove to be the key to either saving the world or destroying it.

(Rule number three is not in effect, therefore your argument is invalid)

5. Logan's Run Rule
- RPG characters are young. Very young. The average age seems to be 15, unless the character is a decorated and battle-hardened soldier, in which case he might even be as old as 18. Such teenagers often have skills with multiple weapons and magic, years of experience, and never ever worry about their parents telling them to come home from adventuring before bedtime. By contrast, characters more than twenty-two years old will cheerfully refer to themselves as washed-up old fogies and be eager to make room for the younger generation.

(This is true, but we do have a middle aged man that kicks more ass than the teenagers for obvious reasons so this is downplayed)

6. Single Parent Rule
- RPG characters with two living parents are almost unheard of. As a general rule, male characters will only have a mother, and female characters will only have a father. The missing parent either vanished mysteriously and traumatically several years ago or is never referred to at all. Frequently the main character's surviving parent will also meet an awkward end just after the story begins, thus freeing him of inconvenient filial obligations.

(There are no parents here! It's like Peanuts, they only speak in 'wah wah wah's when they appear! Nah, not really.)

7. Some Call Me... Tim?
- Good guys will only have first names, and bad guys will only have last names. Any bad guy who only has a first name will become a good guy at some point in the game. Good guys' last names may be mentioned in the manual but they will never be referred to in the story.

(Every main character has a first and last name, you see.)

8. Nominal Rule
- Any character who actually has a name is important in some way and must be sought out. However, if you are referred to as a part of a posessive noun ("Crono's Mom") then you are superfluous.

(Sadly this is true, but it's also kind of necessary in a way. With games that give names to everyone, the names become utterly redundant after a while.)

9. The Compulsories
- There's always a fire dungeon, an ice dungeon, a sewer maze, a misty forest, a derelict ghost ship, a mine, a glowing crystal maze, an ancient temple full of traps, a magic floating castle, and a technological dungeon.

(No floating castle or ghost ship, but all the others are up to interpretation right now.)

10. Luddite Rule (or, George Lucas Rule)
- Speaking of which, technology is inherently evil and is the exclusive province of the Bad Guys. They're the ones with the robots, factories, cyberpunk megalopolises and floating battle stations, while the Good Guys live in small villages in peaceful harmony with nature. (Although somehow your guns and/or heavily armed airships are exempted from this.)

(Actually, the Legion fights with technology that's incredibly primitive compared to modern guns and firearms. Guns DO exist, but they've been outlawed long ago, and production of bullets have stopped entirely, so they're kind of worthless anyway.)


11. Let's Start From The Very Beginning (Yuna Rule)
Whenever there is a sequel to an RPG that features the same main character as the previous game, that character will always start with beginner skills. Everything that they learned in the previous game will be gone, as will all their ultra-powerful weapons and equipment.

(We're still deciding on whether or not we should have a sequel, but one thing's for sure, you'll be playing as entirely new characters.)


12. Poor Little Rich Hero (Meis Rule)
- If the hero comes from a rich and powerful family, it will have fallen on hard times and be broke and destitute by the time the game actually starts.

(Jason was middle-class before the game began, so I guess this applies?)

13. The Higher The Hair, The Closer To God (Cloud Rule)
The more outrageous his hairstyle, the more important a male character is to the story.

(Not the case of later characters, but I suppose Jason and John have some rather wacky hair)

14. Garrett's Principle
Let's not mince words: you're a thief. You can walk into just about anybody's house like the door wasn't even locked. You just barge right in and start looking for stuff. Anything you can find that's not nailed down is yours to keep. You will often walk into perfect strangers' houses, lift their precious artifacts, and then chat with them like you were old neighbors as you head back out with their family heirlooms under your arm. Unfortunately, this never works in stores.

(There's only ONE house where this applies, and if you do try to take things from it you get kicked out forever.)

15. Hey, I Know You!
- You will accumulate at least three of these obligatory party members:
. The spunky princess who is rebelling against her royal parent and is in love with the hero. (HELL NO, SCREW YOUR PRINCESSES)
. The demure, soft-spoken female mage and healing magic specialist who is not only in love with the hero, but is also the last survivor of an ancient race. (Humans only, and there are no mages!)
. The tough-as-nails female warrior who is not in love with the hero (note that this is the only female character in the game who is not in love with the hero and will therefore be indicated as such by having a spectacular scar, a missing eye, cyborg limbs or some other physical deformity -- see The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly Rule.) (Lolnope)
. The achingly beautiful gothy swordsman who is riven by inner tragedy. (THERE ARE NO CLOUDS OR SEPHIROTHS HERE, MOVING ON)
. The big, tough, angry guy who, deep down, is a total softy. (Nope)
. The hero's best friend, who is actually much cooler than the hero. (That's probably up to interpretation, but Austin IS a pretty swell guy)
. The grim, selfish mercenary who over the course of the game learns what it means to really care about other people. (Mercenaries don't exist in Chaos Divine!)
. The character who is actually a spy for the bad guys but will instantly switch to your side when you find out about it. (This might apply for the next chapter~)
. The weird bonus character who requires a bizarre series of side quests to make them effective (with the ultimate result that no player ever uses this character if it can be avoided.) (Pshaa)
. The nauseatingly cute mascot who is useless in all battles. (Hell no!)

16. Hey, I Know You, Too!
- You will also confront/be confronted by at least three of these obligatory antagonists:
. The amazingly good-looking and amazingly evil long-haired prettyboy who may or may not be the ultimate villain. (None of the male villains have long hair...)
. The villain's loyal right-hand man, who comes in two versions: humorously incompetent or annoyingly persistent. (No right hand man at all)
. The villain's attractive female henchman, who is the strongest and most competent soldier in the army but always lets the party escape because she's, yes, fallen in love with the hero. (Kind of, but she is NOT in love with the hero because she is in her 30's and that would be weird (or strangely erotic, choose your poison), and she was forced out of the Legion.)
. Your former ally who supposedly "died" and was forgotten about, until much later in the game when he/she shows up again on the villain's side and full of bitterness. (Nope!)
. The irritatingly honorable foe whom you never get to kill because, upon discovering the true nature of his superiors, he either nobly sacrifices himself or joins your party. (NOPE!)
. The insane clown or jester who will turn out to be surprisingly difficult to subdue. (There ARE insane people later, but they are not clowns.)
. The mad scientist who likes creating mutated creatures and powerful weapons 'cause it's fun (and also handy if uninvited adventurers show up.) (Pff, no.)
. The adorably cute li'l creature or six year old child who fights you and, inexplicably, kicks your butt time after time. (Hell naw)

17. Hey, I Know You, Three!
- Furthermore, expect to encounter most of the following obligatory non-player chararcters (NPCs):
. The townsperson or crewmember who wanders aimlessly in circles and never quite gets where he is going. (Nope)
. Hilariously incompetent or cowardly soldiers. (All of the soldiers work for the Legion, and they are FAR from incompetent (though you DO kick their asses on a daily basis...))
. The NPC who has a crush on another NPC and can't quite work up the nerve to tell him or her, so instead tells every other person who wanders by about it at great length. (Noooooope)
. A group of small children playing hide-and-seek. (Chuck Testa)
. The wise and noble captain/king/high priest. (Non)
. The wise and noble captain/king/high priest's splutteringly evil second-in-command. Nobody, including the hero, will notice the second's constant, crazed scheming until the moment when he betrays everyone to the forces of badness. (nope)
. The NPC who is obsessed with his completely mundane job and witters on endlessly about how great it is. He's so thrilled by it that he wants to share it with everyone he sees, so given a quarter of a chance he'll make you do his job for him. (nope)
. The (adult) NPC who has nothing better to do than play kids' games with passersby. (nope)
. The group of young women who have formed a scarily obsessive fan club for one of your female party members. (there is no female character, your argument is invalid)

18. Crono's Complaint
- The less the main character talks, the more words are put into his mouth, and therefore the more trouble he gets into through no fault of his own.

(They all talk, no silent protagonists here!)

19. "Silly Squall, bringing a sword to a gunfight..."
- No matter what timeframe the game is set in -- past, present, or future -- the main hero and his antagonist will both use a sword for a weapon. (Therefore, you can identify your antagonist pretty easily right from the start of the game just by looking for the other guy who uses a sword.) These swords will be far more powerful than any gun and often capable of distance attacks.

(The main characters don't use any weapons aside from their element and their fists, and the enemies use medieval technology instead of guns, since the lack of production of bullets rendered them useless)


20. Just Nod Your Head And Smile
- And no matter how big that big-ass sword is, you won't stand out in a crowd. Nobody ever crosses the street to avoid you or seems to be especially shocked or alarmed when a heavily armed gang bursts into their house during dinner, rummages through their posessions, and demands to know if they've seen a black-caped man. People can get used to anything, apparently.

(Austin aside, all the people of the Fire chapter look relatively normal.)

21. Aeris's Corollary
- Just as the main male character will always use a sword or a variant of a sword, the main female character will always use a rod or a staff of some sort.

(What's a female? There aren't any females here, what are you talking about.)

22. MacGyver Rule
- Other than for the protagonists, your choice of weapons is not limited to the prosaic guns, clubs, or swords. Given appropriate skills, you can cut a bloody swath across the continent using gloves, combs, umbrellas, megaphones, dictionaries, sketching tablets -- you name it, you can kill with it. Even better, no matter how surreal your choice of armament, every store you pass will just happen to stock an even better model of it for a very reasonable price. Who else is running around the world killing people with an umbrella?

(This might apply in the maybe-sequel. Yay for fishing!)


23. O Brother, Where Art Thou? (Melfice Rule)
- If the male hero has an older sibling, the sibling will also be male and will turn out to be one of the major villains. If the hero has a younger sibling, the sibling will be female and will be kidnapped and held hostage by the villains.

(This applies, but it's much worse than kidnapping.)


24. Capitalism Is A Harsh Mistress
- Once you sell something to a shopkeeper, he instantly sells it to somebody else and you will never see the item again no matter what.

(You're only going to be selling potions and sage. Not like that's found EVERYWHERE EVER!)

25. Dimensional Transcendence Principle
Buildings are much, much larger on the inside than on the outside, and that doesn't even count the secret maze of tunnels behind the clock in the basement.

(This applies, but really making huge-ass buildings to compensate for the actual largeness of the inside is redundant.)

26. Local Control Rule
- Although the boss monster terrorizing the first city in the game is less powerful than the non-boss monsters that are only casual nuisances to cities later in the game, nobody from the first city ever thinks of hiring a few mercenaries from the later cities to kill the monster.

(No monsters and no mercenaries.)

27. Nostradamus Rule
- All legends are 100% accurate. All rumors are entirely factual. All prophecies will come true, and not just someday but almost immediately.

(NO LEGENDS FOR YOU.)

28. IDKFA
- The basic ammunition for any firearms your characters have is either unlimited or very, very easy to obtain. This will apply even if firearms are extremely rare.

(Well, you're using fire spawned from yourself, so there really shouldn't be much of a limit.)

29. Indestructible Weapon Rule
- No matter how many times you use that sword to strike armored targets or fire that gun on full auto mode it will never break, jam or need any form of maintenance unless it is critical to the story that the weapon breaks, jams or needs maintenance.

(Fire doesn't break, what are you talking about.)

30. Selective Paralysis
- Your characters must always keep both feet on the ground and will be unable to climb over low rock ledges, railings, chairs, cats, slightly differently-colored ground, or any other trivial objects which may happen to be in their way. Note that this condition will not prevent your characters from jumping from railroad car to railroad car later in the game.

(This one's unavoidable, sadly.)

31. Bed Bed Bed
- A good night's sleep will cure all wounds, diseases, and disabilities, up to and including death in battle.

(Well, yeah, but this is kind of a staple of RPG games, so it'll work out.)

32. You Can't Kill Me, I Quit (Seifer Rule)
- The good guys never seem to get the hang of actually arresting or killing the bad guys. Minor villains are always permitted to go free so they can rest up and menace you again later -- sometimes five minutes later. Knowing this rule, you can deduce that if you do manage to kill (or force the surrender of) a bad guy, you must be getting near the end of the game.

(There's actually many choices regarding killing major enemies throughout the game *hint hint, first dungeon*)


33. And Now You Die, Mr. Bond! (Beatrix Rule)
- Fortunately for you, the previous rule also applies in reverse. Rather than kill you when they have you at their mercy, the villains will settle for merely blasting you down to 1 hit point and leaving you in a crumpled heap while they stroll off, laughing. (This is, of course, because they're already planning ahead how they'll manipulate you into doing their bidding later in the game -- see Way To Go, Serge.)

(They get saved when that happens, so that's a no.)


34. Zap!
- Most villains in RPGs possess some form of teleportation. They generally use it to materialize in front of the adventurers when they reach the Obligatory Legendary Relic Room and seize the goodies just before you can. The question "if the bad guy can teleport anywhere at any time, then why doesn't (s)he just zip in, grab the artifact, and leave before the adventurers have even finished the nerve-wracking puzzle on the third floor?" is never answered.

(Nope. They just have cars and the ability to FLOOR THAT FUCKER!)

35. Heads I Win, Tails You Lose (Grahf Rule)
- It doesn't matter that you won the fight with the boss monster; the evil task he was trying to carry out will still get accomplished somehow. Really, you might as well not have bothered.

(Well the villain sure likes to think this is the case, but nope!)


36. Clockwork Universe Rule
- No matter how hard you try to stop it, that comet or meteor will always hit the earth.

(No meteor, argument invalid, next question.)

37. Fake Ending
- There will be a sequence which pretends to be the end of the game but obviously isn't -- if for no other reason than because you're still on Disk 1 of 4.

(This might depend on how chapters play out...)

38. You Die, And We All Move Up In Rank
- During that fake ending, the true villain of the story will kill the guy you'd thought was the villain, just to demonstrate what a badass he (the true villain) really is. You never get to kill the fake villain yourself.

(Nah, you get to kill both of them later.)

39. "What are we going to do tonight, Vinsfeld?"
- The goal of every game (as revealed during the Fake Ending) is to Save the World from an evil figure who's trying to take it over or destroy it. There is no way to escape from this formidable task. No matter whether the protagonist's goal in life is to pay off a debt, to explore distant lands, or just to make time with that cute girl in the blue dress, it will be necessary for him to Save the World in order to accomplish it. Take heart, though -- once the world gets sorted out, everything else will fall into place almost immediately.

(Hardly. I can't go into detail for obvious spoilers, but I will say that it'll be FAR more complicated than that.)

40. Zelda's Axiom
- Whenever somebody tells you about "the five ancient talismans" or "the nine legendary crystals" or whatever, you can be quite confident that Saving the World will require you to go out and find every last one of them.

(Hell naw)

41. George W. Bush Geography Simplification Initiative
Every country in the world will have exactly one town in it, except for the country you start out in, which will have three.

(The entire Fire chapter takes place in a single COUNTY (not a country, but a county) in a single state of a country. The next chapter takes place in a different county in a different state in a different country. So no.)

42. Fodor's Guide Rule
In the course of your adventure you will visit one desert city, one port town, one mining town, one casino city, one magic city (usually flying), one medieval castle kingdom, one clockwork city, one martial arts-based community, one thieves' slum, one lost city and one sci-fi utopia. On the way you'll also get a chance to see the cave with rocks that glow from a natural energy source, the village populated with nonhuman characters, the peaceful village where everyone knows the latest news about the hero's quest (see Guy in the Street Rule), the snow village, the magical forest/lake/mountain, the shop in the middle of nowhere, the fantastic-looking place with lots of FMVs just showing your entrance, the subtropical jungle island populated by friendly natives, the annoying cavern maze, and a place -- any place -- that was destroyed in some past disaster.

(Some yes, some no. There will be no magical places around here!)

43. Midgar Principle
- The capital of the evil empire is always divided into two sections: a lower city slum filled with slaves and supporters of the rebellion, and an upper city filled with loyal fanatics and corrupt aristocrats.

(The Fire chapter takes place in the suburbs, so there aren't any cities for this to apply.)

44. Not Invented Here
- Trade of technology will not exist. One place in the world will have all the techno-gadgets while all the others will be harvesting dirt.

(Nah.)

45. Law of Cartographical Elegance
- The world map always cleanly fits into a rectangular shape with no land masses that cross an edge.

(HARDLY. The map you eventually do get is only a SMALL part of the country.)

46. ¿Quien Es Mas Macho? (Fargo Rule)
- Every powerful character you attempt to seek aid from will first insist upon "testing your strength" in a battle to the death.

(Well, Morpheus tests you through patience and loyalty, though there are a few fights...)

47. We Had To Destroy The Village In Order To, Well, You Know The Rest (Selene Rule)
- No matter what happens, never call on the government, the church, or any other massive controlling authority for help. They'll just send a brigade of soldiers to burn your entire village to the ground.

(The Legion is the only body of government, and they're corrupt, so...)

48. Zidane's Curse (or, Dirty Pair Rule)
- An unlucky condition in which every major city in the game will coincidentally wind up being destroyed just after the hero arrives.

(They try, but nope!)

49. Maginot Line Rule
- It is easy to tell which city/nation is the next conquest of the Evil Empire: its streets are filled with citizens who brag that the Empire would never dare attack them, and would be easily defeated if it tried. (This smug nationalism always fails to take into account the Empire's new superweapon.)

(Pff, everybody knows the Legion's evil.)

50. Short Attention Span Principle
- All bookshelves contain exactly one book, which only has enough text on it to fill up half a page.

(Pff, you can't read any books in this game!)
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