I'M HERE FOR THE GAEMS. THE VIDIO GMES.

I was a teenager making garbage games.

I'm Makoto. My RPG Maker career started around 2006-2007 when I was in middle school. During this Golden Age of creativity, I managed to pump out 3(!) XP masterpieces, each clocking in at roughly 2 hours. One of those was made without switches, two featured Chuck Norris as the antagonist and all three were filled to the brim with shitty mapping and hilarious internet memes. Needless to say, it's all been downhill from there.

A few years, and one failed project, later, we arrive at RPG Maker VX. It is here we find the first title that I would not immediately file under "Embarrassing." Now, the aforementioned title is "Hard Men", but bear with me. Hard Men trades nauseating internet memes for hilarious hyper-masculinity starring a 6'2, 240lb lumberjack (this is all in his profile people) named Todgger Dougstyles. I fully intended for this guy to be a mega-badass. It was only after completing the project that my brother broke the news: Todgger Dougstyles fails miserably at everything he attempts to do over the course of the game. Makes me laugh to this day. That's what happens when you make everything up as you go along! The sequel would become my second canned project, and my potent RPG making abilities would once again lie dormant.

Garbage games end here.

All ~6 of my projects so far have followed the same design strategy: start with a vague (usually bad) idea, and make everything up as you go along. This unfortunately does not seem to produce quality games. Odd, that.

Because I apparently have the mental capacity of a toddler, the lesson didn't take. My latest project began a month ago, same as the rest: you get the "spark", you come up with protagonist, a nebulous idea for the beginning, and you get mappin'. Someone please stop this moron.

Someone did. Rpgmaker.net did. I've spent the last three nights pouring through articles and forums posts, unlearning years of habits earned creating games meant for me and my brother only. For the time being, I've traded eventing and mapping for the database and Notepad. I really like what I have for My Big Project so far, and it'd be a shame to waste it with teenage-era improv. In fact, I'm starting work on a new, small project tomorrow, with an eye on testing my skills and receiving valuable feedback. Maybe a prologue of sorts to the main game? I should write these things down.

Hopefully I'll have something for you guys and gals to look forward to soon! Also: I put switches in my games now. Get excited.

Thanks for readin' my post!

author=LouisCyphre

author=LockeZ
Man I kinda really want to play this Hard Men game now.

No, no, you really don't.

I just ran a quick 45 minute playthrough. Every battle (all 10 of them) can be won by mashing the spacebar, with the occasionally heal. There is no economy. There are no towns, no NPCs. The story is paper-thin. Though I consider it to be thoroughly terrible, I doubt I could replicate its ridiculousness. I've got a soft spot for it, personally, but I wouldn't want to subject anyone else to the horror.

After I manage to produce something respectable, I might throw it up.

In closing, this scene, set to a loop of the theme from Wolf Blitzer's Situation Room, kills me everytime. Where the hell did I find that?