IS ANYONE WILLING TO PROVIDE FEEDBACK ON MY STORY?

I was wondering if there was anyone out there that would be willing to provide some feedback to the first couple of chapters I've written. I'm predominantly looking for someone who has been around the RM community for a long time. Any help would be very greatly appreciated. Please message me if interested.

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A few notes about what will be sent:

The dialogue, as written, is fairly complete. However, it is just an outline. More will be added in between to fill in any future gaps and to flesh it out. There are times when events are skipped over - one dungeon in particular comes to mind. This is done, because that scene doesn't really add anything to the story yet, and as of now, it's just a placeholder.

Also, in the beginning, the story was written as if it were a video game. Over time, I stopped writing it that way, because it may end up becoming a comic instead. It's all still up in the air.

There are scenes that I'm not particularly satisfied with, too, but I can't quite put my finger on what I should do to fix them. If you stumble across one that seems awkward, let me know. I won't take offense to criticism.

Along with the two chapters, I will try and include any art that I have to help you visualize characters. Not all characters have art yet, but some do.

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Thanks, again, to anyone willing to help out.