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[A CHRISTMAS COMEDY CLASSIC] - ‘TWAS THE MOMENT BEFORE BRUNCH
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'Twas The Moment Before Brunch
A Merry Christmas Poem
A Short Doohickey Written By: Addit
Proofread By: Addit
Fondled By: Addit
Since Christmas is coming and it will soon be here, I thought I would share you all this poem that I so hold very dear.
It combines the elements of two things, featuring some random girl, and a guy with no name...
- - - - -
‘Twas the moment before brunch, when all throughout the house,
not a submission to be had, not even by a lot.
Gauging closer to the hour,
in hopes that my reviewer score will soon not sourer.
The total of guests seem to be at rest,
while lurkers and bots mostly ruled at the top of the clock.
And with my bottle of Jacks in hand, and with my husband soon by my end,
it appeared that moment of tranquility was soon about to come to an end.
When something managed to crash on top of the roof!
Whatever it was - it wasn’t getting "my" booze!
Away to the roof I went with shotgun in hand,
and a piece of bread for comfort, man.
The moon was high and so was the snow.
Given the frigid conditioned described, I should surely not know.
- When what is this!?
A man in red driving up to the porch,
with a broken down muffler, of course!
He was rather old and kinda fat, but so lively and so full of sash!
I knew that moment that I was in trouble,
as duplicate accounts go, I surely have doubled.
“So, you thought you could fool me, all smart and smug.
Don’t you know that we IP track that stuff.”
With nowhere to go, a clever idea soon began to show.
“I am not who of ye speaks, gentle kind sir. If you wish to ask
politely, maybe as a hostess goes, you just might leave here
with all five toes.”
As I readied my shotgun to give him the axe,
he soon countered straight right back.
A final warning was right then given to me,
“I’ll show you no f**king mercy,” as he began to open fire on me.
With nowhere left to run or hide, the bullets simply sprayed through longer this time.
I must have been hit more than once.
- How do I know?
Because I sure am blanking out a lot.
“Why must you do this; I bring you no harm!
As for that duplicate account, maybe your systems are all wrong!”
“You do not quite understand yet, that head full of mess.
When you signed up to join us, sometimes blood must shed instead.”
“Creating a second account is not quite fair.
Now I shall give you the consequences that I’ve prepared.”
Trying to stay on sight and focus on the fight,
I was losing too much blood.
I just couldn’t see right.
Suddenly, everything was getting quite dark.
My hands became gimp, even as I tripped.
I could not move my body.
I couldn’t even move my hips.
In the far distance, he soon began to speed away,
as far as he possibly could that day.
But I heard what he said, and it was quite clear,
“Merry Christmas, GarnetofAlexandria,
You’re career is quite over here.”
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