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"THIS IS WHY WE'RE HERE."

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Corfaisus
"It's frustrating because - as much as Corf is otherwise an irredeemable person - his 2k/3 mapping is on point." ~ psy_wombats
7874
Originally submitted Feb. 22, 2015 and has nothing to do with the passing of Spock.

An artist contemplates mortality, dreams, and limitations.

It becomes increasingly obvious with every passing day: I'm not going to live forever. Whether it's a reflection on my own mortality or the near-death-like experience of seeing the end of a dream that, for one cause or another, seems to be being torn out of my grasp by circumstances out of my control, I quickly come to realize what is truly important in life: the legacy we leave behind. I don't want my life to end - this dream to fade - now; not before I can bring my dearest pursuit to reality.

I'm not ready to lay down and die... not yet. There is still so much I want to do.

Like an organ that makes up my very being, my greatest endeavor in game design is something I am not willing to sacrifice for the sake of anything else. This may sound narcissistic and crazy, but fearing the end has made me realize how empty my life would be without it. After having spent the past decade with the undying desire to bring this to life, I've sworn that I will live on until my story reaches its planned conclusion, no matter what the status of my well-being is when that occurs.

But I know that simple determination cannot keep my heart beating and that there will come opportunities for the hand of Death to land upon my shoulder. We here understand what it's like to lose one of our own during the height of their development. Our own dear Aten (creator of Final Fantasy Dreams) was taken before his time in a tragic car accident before he could complete what most would deem his magnum opus, Legend of Vanadia. There are many others who we have lost in other areas of the world as well, such as the legendary The Old Nite of Runescape fame who succumbed to lung cancer in 2006 who many remember as a kind and generous soul who was always present when his friends needed him.

Knowing that our time on this Earth will always be shorter than we expect, we must make the most of our time and realize the dreams we cling to, because all that we are after death is that which we leave behind. No matter how silly your games may be, never stop creating. Even if you never strike it rich and become famous for your works, never let that star burn out.

Please, Lord over all creation, if it be your will, grant me the strength and time to realize my dreams. Amen.

Embrace the creative spark of those around you and prosper, fellow game designers. May our passion burn brighter than the sun.

This was originally going to be an article, but it was deemed not-up-to-snuff.
youre stupid/untalented though
User was warned for this post
Roden
who could forget dear ratboy
3857
Like an organ that makes up my very being, my greatest endeavor in game design is something I am not willing to sacrifice for the sake of anything else. This may sound narcissistic and crazy, but fearing the end has made me realize how empty my life would be without it. After having spent the past decade with the undying desire to bring this to life, I've sworn that I will live on until my story reaches its planned conclusion, no matter what the status of my well-being is when that occurs.

I struggle with this a lot too. Fuck... It's been almost 14 years now that I've been working on my "magnum opus". It's the entire reason that I design games, so that I can ready myself to bring it to life. It's become something of a duty in my life, at least in my eyes. I feel like that's why I was put here. So every once in a while I share in your moment of reflection, that I might not make it there, that I might be killed by an unfortunate and unstoppable event before my dream can come true.

It's definitely hard to think about. But you can't let it loom over your head. For so long now I've been shying away from really pursuing my passions of worldbuilding, developing traditional RPGs and the like, because I've been afraid of not being ready. But I realized only recently that if I kept thinking like that I'd never be ready, and I'd prevent myself from getting to the point where I can take command and make my magnum opus a reality. Basically, this is what I realized:

No matter how silly your games may be, never stop creating. Even if you never strike it rich and become famous for your works, never let that star burn out.

I think I'm just beginning to come to terms with the fact that, as a developer, the most important thing I can do is just make what my heart tells me to make. I can't survive and be happy by trying to make something that everyone else will like if I hate it. I can't sit here and pretend that the best thing to do is to try and be as wild and noticeable as possible, because if I really, actually put my creative passion into making something then it will be special because of that. I think that because of my financial situation I've been losing sight of what I really want to do, because I'm too focused on making something that sells, and not making something that I actually care about in the end.

At the end of the day, I need to keep believing that some day, some day all these years of work will pay off, and I'll be able to sit down and play my own masterwork, and be happy about what I've accomplished.

Dammit Corfaisus, you went and made me all introspective!
Congratulations, now you're an artist. :)
InfectionFiles
the world ends in whatever my makerscore currently is
4622
This is pretty moving and hits home. I was literally just thinking about this today.
Good timing, mate.

Even if all I leave is a trail of b-grade zombie games in my wake, that's cool with me. I enjoyed every minute of it. :)
unity
You're magical to me.
12540
Well said, Corfaisus. Well said indeed. ^_^

There is so much more I want to make, too. Let's all work to make our dreams come true :DDDDD
Okay, you convinced me. Even if Amulet of Fate never strikes it big with any audience, I still enjoy playing through it and making it and I'm going to finish it and release it for everyone. It may still take a year or more, but I just want people to be amazed at the sheer size of scope of it all and wonder how the hell a single person could keep it all together to make even a coherent game with it!
Pretty impactful words...Just not on me specifically.

Am I really the only one who doesn't really care much for leaving a legacy?

I make what I make because I find it fun, and I hope to bring joy to others as well, even if no one remembers my work 5 years from now.

*shrug* Leaving behind a legacy would be nice, but overall, I'm fine being a "nobody". As long as I enjoyed my life, that's all that matters.

Then again, I'm still just 26, maybe when I'm 35 those feelings will start to sneak up on me.

Still, feeling like a dream was just torn out of your grasp REALLY hurts, and I feel so much sympathy for when that happens to someone.. :(
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