LET'S WRITE A STORY! (RMN SPACE ODDESSEY)

Like many other threads we're gonna tell a story but this time there's a few rules.

- You must write 50 words. No more, no less.
- You must leave the last sentence unfinished so someone else can complete it for you.
- Where possible, leave at least two posts between your last one, before adding more to the story.
- Try not to go too off-track. The idea is to write a story together, so certain concepts, characters and the like should kind of match up from post to post. That said, space is the limit! Have at~
- Easy? Easy.
- Here's a quick word-counting site: https://wordcounter.net/

We'll start nice and simple:



"Goddamn it, Mary! I told you we should have left that fucking cat back on Helios 15. Why'd you bring the mangy animal with us?"

Jack Barrington, Space Marine, was not having a good day. In fact, it could be said that he was having the worst day of his incarnation.

"What? Are you going to pilot us back to the wormhole just for Snowball?" asked Mary.

"Why the hell not?" Jack slammed the shuttle's reverse. "Next time, we're skipping straight from Helios 12 to Helios 17."

"Asshole. Dying normally is unpleasant enough and you're gonna go back through the one place that broadcasts your entire birth and life cycle galaxy-wide."

"You know how they say dying is nowhere near as unpleasant as being born?"

Jack was grinding his teeth "I'm DYING to find out!"

Mary sighed, she never understood his stubbornness, nor his relationship to animals. Was he a complete enigma?

He didn't want to bring the damned cat in the first place!

Now here he was, turning the ship around, like an irritated mother fulfilling her threat to her obnoxious children.

"A rough and tumble space marine, going through hell for a cat."

"What will your buddies think when you bring their cat back?"

"McDoogle and Jam Five will understand just fine. They were there that day."

"Jack, it's been 8 years."

"I know, Mary. And it's still buggin' me. That's how big of a deal it was. Snowball has to go."

"Jack, you're an idiot. The mission would have failed without Snowball. That cat saved your life!"

"Yeah," growled Jack, eyes staring darkly ahead, "and made me look like an absolute fool in the process!"

Mary threw up her hands with a loud groan.

A claw pulled at Jack's pant leg. His body stiffened. "No way that cat was here the whole time! I'd swear we left him there."

"Snowball!" Mary was so happy to see her cat safe and sound.

"No reason to go through the wormhole, then." Jack sounded seriously disappointed.

"Well then! No delays, after all!" Mary nudged Jack playfully. "Come on, you erotic watermelon! We have a few spare minuetes if you wanted to... enter my wormhole?"

Jack's eyes widened at the thought, "Right now!? I thought you said 'No Delays'?"

"I think that's a worthy delay, hehe" replied Mary.

Jack didn't know whether to argue or to make love. He decided to ignore her stifled chuckles instead. After all, her wife, Petra (an Old World army veteran who could twist his whole body into a pretzel if she ever got the inclination to do so) was a good friend and Jack had a simple rule when it came to buddies spouses: Only with the buddies present.

"No delays, missy."

It saved his life before, and having an image of Petra "dealing" with a molester flash up made him feel good about the decision.

Mary was a little disappointed. She pulled the cat up and started petting it, which made Jack delightfully horny. He wanted to be that cat.

Surely Petra would forgive Mary for one, small act of passion with someone else... They were galaxies apart, besides, how was he meant to deal with his sexual urges otherwise?

But there wasn't time for that, they couldn't delay because there was imminent risk of their package expiring.

Suddenly, Gibblet 86, autonomous helper droid, rolled in from the rear chamber.

"Am I interrupting question mark?" queried Gibblet.

"I keep telling you, don't say the 'question mark'." Jack replied.

"My monotone vocal synthesizer makes it hard for humans to distinguish question from statement. Please understand that I am programmed to--"

"Alright! I get it. What do you need?"

"Unknown objects on approach period. They do not appear to have weapons armed comma, but since they are on an intercept course comma, I thought you'd like to know period."

"Mary, you and Snowball get yourselves to the weapons bay. I'll be counting on you to hold them off while I drive this hunk of junk through the upcoming solar array. Feel free to break out the plasma cannons, but remember, we're on a budget. Bot, go strap yourself in your pod."

With a quick nod, Mary clutched Snowball to her chest and backflipped out of her seat.

"Impressive exclamation point!"

"Bot! Pod!" said Jack gruffly.

"Yes sir period."

Shaking his rugged head, Jack pawed at the controls with sweaty determination. His focus had been thrown a little by Mary's proposition. He wiped his big hands on the towel he always kept nearby. Perspiration was a real problem for him.

He looked at the objects on the sensor net and breathed a sigh of relief. They were ships of the Kawaii, the most inoffensive, and adorable aliens imaginable.

Contacting them, he heard, "Please help, us! We're turning feral and killing everything in sight!"

No sooner had the Kawaii emissary said that than there was a mewl of pain and a spurt of red from somewhere off-screen.

"Jack, we have to help them!" cried Mary on the intercom.

"Dammit Mary, first the stupid cat and now Kawaii aliens on some kind of drug." Or poison. But what would the two of them be able to do about it?

Jack sighed and gave Mary a frustrated look. She clearly was filled with determination. "If you have a plan, tell me. If you don't, just leave it."

"Well... they're killing everything in sight, so if we blindfold them, then they'll be back to normal, right?"

Jack thought for a second. A surprisingly good plan. They just needed to beam over with some blindfolds, and catch them by surprise.

Jack transmitted, "Kawaii ship, prepare to be boarded. In exchange for our assistance, you be willing to take a cat off our hands?"

"JACK!"

"Just kidding!"

On the ship, they have to crouch. Mary sees a blue furred creature, three feet tall, with enormous eyes. Her heart melts. Suddenly dozens of them are all over them! Battle shrieks ring through

to ignore her stifled chuckles instead. After all, her wife, Petra (an Old World army veteran who could twist his whole body into a pretzel if she ever got the inclination to do so) was a good friend and Jack had a simple rule when it came to buddies spouses: