HELLO! THIS IS KOTSU

hi everyone! im kotsu and i believe i had an account on this website but it's not attatched to my main email so maybe i was mistaken? i had attempted to start diving into my first game idea a while ago, silence rising, a silent hill inspired game riding off from the buzz around death stranding, but shot too high and ended up not going very far, while rushing through the more basic stages of making an rpg maker game like making custom tiles and the such, because i was meeting halfway with what i wanted and felt i could make.
im a design student and illustrate independently on the side, selling my stuff and making fanart, but being mentally ill (specially dealing wtih chronic depression) makes it very difficult for me to keep up with the things i want to engage in. but making a game is something i've always wanted to do at least once. i have a plethora of ideas in the can and get bursts of encouragement from consuming media ranging from games to films to shows, what made me come back to here was playing/watching yume nikki dream diary. from there i went back and checked out some older rpg maker games (the original yume nikki, space funeral, .flow, the crooked man, etc.) and remembered what was really interesting about them in the first place.

i want to try to not overshoot myself again and plan my project better around what i can and cannot do, aligned more with the software i'm working on. i have vx ace and will be using it again and try to check out the forums more to learn from others, and i think collaborating with other people would be really interesting as well. i am considering checking out the job board, too. i'm really attatched to the first project i was working on but i'm trying to not make it too much into my baby, it's starting to merge more into a yume nikki fangame idea along with its original silent hill inspiration. i'm not sure how much i can go into it on this board so i think i'll stop here for now, but i look forward to meeting and working with everyone!