STORY HELP

I recently went to Costa Rica, and there I thought up a game. I thought up the game's story, and got exited and happy about it. Then I got home, and faced the dreaded obsticle which I always seem to overlook... How To Start it! This main problem has often been the death of many projects, the common How To Start it. I don't want this project to die, so I need help. For obvious reasons, I can't give you the plot twists and full body of the story, but I'll give you the beginning.

My request: Help me make a decision on how to sart this project.

The story begins with three children, Basil, Emeline and Trinton, who have lived a life of luxury in the castle they live in, being catapulted from their homes to a strange land by an unknown dark force. After wandering for a bit, the three children find out that they are in Siberia, a no-man's land where a evil wizard is said to live. After a frightning introduction to the exotic wildlife in Siberia, the three children meet the not-so-evil wizard, Chronos.
After nurturing the children to health, Chronos drops them off at the edge of Siberia and leaves them with food, water and supplies. A soldier from the three's home finds them to escort them home.

Like I said before, beginnings are a little shakey for me. If you have any improvements for this part, tell me.

Thank you, LaValle. This was very helpful.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that that beginning part came out of the top of my head, right when I wrote that. I now have no intention of actually using that. I currently am brainstorming (thanks to Chaos Productions) on what I realy want my game to be. I'll post the main problem.

Thousands of yers ago, in a world where chaos reigned and old demons walked the earth, humans were treated as mere dogs by dark forces greater than they were. These beings were called the Old Ones, and they were lead by a great demon, Cthulu. The humans were afraid, afraid of the Old Ones, afraid of Cthulu, even afraid of each other. Generation after generation hoped and prayed for a holy warrior to cast down these terrifying rulers, and to end the carnage of the impending chaos which had plagued the world since the Old Ones.
Finnaly, a great, winged warrior came from the sky, clothed in garbs of pure light. He called for the three poorest and lowly souls to come before him, and to kneel before his feet. When they kneeled, they became gifted with strength, and the Great Liborator called them Sky Knights. Wielding his great sword Excalibur, he lead the warriors to battle against Cthulu, and sealed him in Hades. Cthulu will remain in Hades as long as at least one of the Sky Knights, or their kin, in still on Earth. The other Old Ones fled, leaving only the destructive aftermath of their reign in their place. The Sky Knights then gained control of the Earth, and lead Mankind into a time of peace and knowledge, soon leaving the Old Ones as distant, faint memories...

Now, two thousand years after the Old Ones left the Earth, Cthulu begins to stir. After two thousand years in Hades, Cthulu wants out. He shakes the Earth with his fury, and bellows so loud mountains erupt and clouds fall from the sky. He creates minions, earthly minions, to go out and seek the Sky Knights, and to bring them to him so he can leave his forsaken hole...

Trinton was fifteen when Cthulu's minions attacked his hometown. The King of their village was a decendant of a Sky Knight, Lucifur, and it was their town which Cthulu's creeps decided to demolish first. Poor Trinton was forced to hide and watch as everyone he knew and loved was massacred. When he came out of his hiding place, nearly everyone was gone. every building had been ruined in some way, and often were decorated with the limp bodies of their residents.
Expiriencing such a thing was traumatizing for Trinton, but he knew that it would only be a matter of time before the next kingdom was devoured by Cthulu's ambitions. Trinton vows to protect mankind from Cthulu, and sets out on a journey to warn neighboring kingdoms of Cthulu's coming, and to find a way to destroy the terrible Cthulu.

Well? This one was a bit more planned, and this is only the very beginning of the game. As I type I am planning various characters and plot twists, but I need feedback. Thanks for listening!

Hm, good point. I seem to be coming along with my story just fine now, anyway, so thanks for your opinion. Just for the heck of it, though, tell me if it is a good start to a story, at least.

author=AznChipmunk link=topic=4053.msg82583#msg82583 date=1245867777
Lovecraftian all the way would be cool, but yeah, I agree with Karsuman. It's not really... "bad" or like poorly thought out or anything... it just sounds unoriginal. I mean, all that sort of "thousands of years ago... demons etc. etc." is kind of generic fantasy game plot stuff. Not sure what style of game you are going for, but the two larger plot posts you made, to me, sound like they could be separate games. The first one reminded me of A Home Far Away, one of my favorite (and best written) RM games involving two kids who are basically... far away from home, and it's about their journey home. The tone of that game is pretty lighthearted, and that's what I sort of envisioned around your plot. Maybe that's not what you want, but the second part you posted makes a really large shift to generic fantasy game stuff, where maybe the plot is well thought out or executed well, but... always tends to seem unoriginal.

Like I said, that first one came to me out of the top of my head. When I wrote that, my plan was to create a RMXP game using RTP, and having a story plot where the evil guy takes over... seven years later... real action begins... blah blah blah.