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DO YOU HAVE REAL FRIENDS?
Posts
LivingEffigy
187
LivingEffigy
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Closeauthor=kentona
I've pretty much lived my entire life without any close friends. I have had more acquaintances than friends, really. I never really alienated anyone, so I could fit in with almost any social group (I could flit easily from jocks to nerds to alt rock hipsters), but I never really connected with anyone, either. I was also kind of an odd child with an overactive imagination. That coupled with the fact that I was almost always the "benchmark" that my peers measured themselves against kind of distanced me (I was the "smart" kid and the "athletic" kid, and I so it was always a feat of "Ha! I beat Kenton!" whenever anyone bested me in a test or sport or whatever. I have many stories if anyone is interested). I was also quite shy and nervous around girls.
I preferred my own company (and still do, quite frankly).
I have had some "closer" friends over the years but I never kept in touch after we separated, though.
I am probably 95% of this. The other 5% of me sucks at (but enjoys) sports and prefers gaming.
Yeah, Kentona. I went much of my life in the 99th percentile of everything, and loafed through college myself. I placed second in several FBLA competitions - despite not allocating much time to prepwork - and scored high marks in the national competitions. I could have been so much more in High School, even though I was still very successful. I got placed in some stupid "experimental" classes in high school and had to work my way into honors classes for 10th grade; otherwise I would've been in the top 10 for GPA. The difference is that I don't necessarily go all-out on everything I do anymore, even RPG Makering. I do put effort into things though. I just balance things...or try to.
I go through very severe bouts of depression as well. Probably severe because I am not athletic, so all I have is my intelligence (or perceived intelligence). Half the time I have confidence; the other half of the time I feel like everyone is just being nice "yes people" because I'm probably borderline retarded. It's why I take things very personally (except obvious jokes and well presented, well founded, and -properly written- constructive criticism), and always feel like I'm not articulating myself well at all.
I go through very severe bouts of depression as well. Probably severe because I am not athletic, so all I have is my intelligence (or perceived intelligence). Half the time I have confidence; the other half of the time I feel like everyone is just being nice "yes people" because I'm probably borderline retarded. It's why I take things very personally (except obvious jokes and well presented, well founded, and -properly written- constructive criticism), and always feel like I'm not articulating myself well at all.
Neok
3602
author=kentonaauthor=supremewarriorto make a long story short, my self-esteem is closely tied with my performance in any given area in my life. This makes me fear failure so much that rarely take risks or attempt new things (even innocuous things like RMVX). I also avoid confrontation to a fault.
I feel the same actually, I can't really find anyone who I can relate to.
I'm interested in your stories!
This is not a good thing.
(...the problem is even now I can still excel if I apply myself. I just rarely ever want to apply myself anymore. It is exhausting and mentally draining for me.)
For some crib notes:
-I had the highest average in my school from grade 7 thru 12 (the average grade size was about 100-150 students)
-I was MVP of the senior boys volleyball team for grades 11 and 12, and the only rookie in the starting 6 for grade 10, even though I am only 5'10" (on a good day)
-I was often the leading scorer on my hockey teams (or near the top)
-I went to provincials for track & field every year
-I swept the city track meet in grade 7 actually, getting 1st in all 5 events I participated in
-I played goalie in soccer in the one year I competed in it (except for the final game of the year, where I played midfielder. I scored 3 goals.)
-I still remember my PBs from track & field (12.57m in shotput, 6.20m in long jump, 11.53s in 100m, 7.87 in 60m, 24.23s in 200m, 54.5s in 400m)
-in my aptitude test in school I was ranked in the 99th percentile for nearly all categories
-I loafed through university with a 90% average, graduating with Great Distinction
-I made the most downloaded game on RMN.
..and yet I still suck as a human being and often go through bouts of depression.
Kentona's actually a robot. That's why he has no real friends. How can robots have real friends? :'(
I hope you guys won't fall in the trap of self-pity because because that's about the worst decision any human being could ever make. I'm not saying this out of contempt or anything, I honestly think (know?) that complaining is the worst thing anyone can ever do.
Happiness is a delusion just like depression is. It's all about intepreting your environment in a way which is beneficial to you.
Happiness is a delusion just like depression is. It's all about intepreting your environment in a way which is beneficial to you.
LivingEffigy
187
author=Creation
Happiness is a delusion just like depression is. It's all about intepreting your environment in a way which is beneficial to you.
This is a fact and it needs more emphasis.
author=LivingEffigyauthor=CreationThis is a fact and it needs more emphasis.
Happiness is a delusion just like depression is. It's all about intepreting your environment in a way which is beneficial to you.
Agreed. It's one of the true facts of life.
StarSkipp
2007
I'm pretty sure this topic was suppose to be about sharing stories on how your former friends turned into malicous bastards and how you dealt with it.
But now it is somehow about the feeling of isolation from society, which actually happens to everyone from time to time.
But now it is somehow about the feeling of isolation from society, which actually happens to everyone from time to time.
LivingEffigy
187
Imagine sitting in a dark room full of pills and you have to taste each one of them to check if its Prozac.
author=kentona
to make a long story short, my self-esteem is closely tied with my performance in any given area in my life.
For some crib notes:
-I had the highest average in my school from grade 7 thru 12 (the average grade size was about 100-150 students)
-I was MVP of the senior boys volleyball team for grades 11 and 12, and the only rookie in the starting 6 for grade 10, even though I am only 5'10" (on a good day)
-I was often the leading scorer on my hockey teams (or near the top)
-I went to provincials for track & field every year
-I swept the city track meet in grade 7 actually, getting 1st in all 5 events I participated in
-I played goalie in soccer in the one year I competed in it (except for the final game of the year, where I played midfielder. I scored 3 goals.)
-I still remember my PBs from track & field (12.57m in shotput, 6.20m in long jump, 11.53s in 100m, 7.87 in 60m, 24.23s in 200m, 54.5s in 400m)
-in my aptitude test in school I was ranked in the 99th percentile for nearly all categories
-I loafed through university with a 90% average, graduating with Great Distinction
-I made the most downloaded game on RMN.
..and yet I still suck as a human being and often go through bouts of depression.
Maybe I have some idea of what you're talking about : an idea, FORGET ABOUT YOURSELF, your notes, grades, etc just give, to other people, it works!
author=chana
It's definitely better than Prozac, problem is, it doesn't last that long!
You must be doin' it wrong.
author=chana
It's definitely better than Prozac, problem is, it doesn't last that long!
find better dudes
I guess story time?
I had to break off a friendhip recently with a girl I'd known for six years. She had broken off plans several times in the past, but I never really had any proof she was truly flaking on me.
Well, she invited me to a convention and we were supposed to go in February. Pretty long distance and I didn't have the means of transport myself. So she was my only way there. Well, sure enough, the con is only a week away, I've already paid my $25 to get in, and she calls and tells me plans are off because her car broke down. I was cool with that. Not much you could do about it. It was a little irritating that I never got my money back from con staff, but that wouldn't be her fault.
Well, a couple days ago, I looked her up on Youtube, and sure enough, she has video from the same convention she said we wouldn't be able to make. When I called and asked her about it, she told me it was because her mom showed up and wanted to go but would have felt like a third wheel if I had been there. So she made up the story about the car to keep her mom from looking like the bad guy. Classy.
Basically, it's not really so much about the con as it is the lying and how pathetic it is that a twenty-one year old woman has such a clingy, possessive mother and that she enables it. allowing her life to be controlled and ditching other people in her life over it. Iw ould have been perfectly fine with all three of us going, it's her mother's issue with having to share the attention she gets from her daughter and everyone else she becomes associated with.
I know her mom. She's a very insecure person. She used to be friends with my mom until it came to a point she had to be at our house twenty-four/seven and getting mad if my mom so much as decided it was time to spend time with my dad instead. That's pretty sick.
Needless to say after a couple of years of having plans broken, that was the end of it. But I do have plenty of real friends. Damn good friends. The only one I've ever met face to face is my boyfriend, but I still talk to these people every single day on Skype and we all care a lot about eachother.
These are people who sat and talked to me in a voice chat for hours after all of that happened instead of thinking 'oh no, a vent' and logging off. And I love them all dearly for it whether they're in other states or even other countries.
I had to break off a friendhip recently with a girl I'd known for six years. She had broken off plans several times in the past, but I never really had any proof she was truly flaking on me.
Well, she invited me to a convention and we were supposed to go in February. Pretty long distance and I didn't have the means of transport myself. So she was my only way there. Well, sure enough, the con is only a week away, I've already paid my $25 to get in, and she calls and tells me plans are off because her car broke down. I was cool with that. Not much you could do about it. It was a little irritating that I never got my money back from con staff, but that wouldn't be her fault.
Well, a couple days ago, I looked her up on Youtube, and sure enough, she has video from the same convention she said we wouldn't be able to make. When I called and asked her about it, she told me it was because her mom showed up and wanted to go but would have felt like a third wheel if I had been there. So she made up the story about the car to keep her mom from looking like the bad guy. Classy.
Basically, it's not really so much about the con as it is the lying and how pathetic it is that a twenty-one year old woman has such a clingy, possessive mother and that she enables it. allowing her life to be controlled and ditching other people in her life over it. Iw ould have been perfectly fine with all three of us going, it's her mother's issue with having to share the attention she gets from her daughter and everyone else she becomes associated with.
I know her mom. She's a very insecure person. She used to be friends with my mom until it came to a point she had to be at our house twenty-four/seven and getting mad if my mom so much as decided it was time to spend time with my dad instead. That's pretty sick.
Needless to say after a couple of years of having plans broken, that was the end of it. But I do have plenty of real friends. Damn good friends. The only one I've ever met face to face is my boyfriend, but I still talk to these people every single day on Skype and we all care a lot about eachother.
These are people who sat and talked to me in a voice chat for hours after all of that happened instead of thinking 'oh no, a vent' and logging off. And I love them all dearly for it whether they're in other states or even other countries.
author=Creation
I hope you guys won't fall in the trap of self-pity because because that's about the worst decision any human being could ever make. I'm not saying this out of contempt or anything, I honestly think (know?) that complaining is the worst thing anyone can ever do.
Happiness is a delusion just like depression is. It's all about intepreting your environment in a way which is beneficial to you.
Complaining is literally the one thing that most humans are most inherently programmed to do, though. (As a psychologist.) Bitching is the thing we love the most.
