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This Game Will Suck You Up, Swallow You, and Becomes Just Barely Better
Font- 07/01/2009 12:28 AM
- 3887 views
Lazer Kirby, you can skip to the bottom for most prudent information!
Introduction:
Warrior Dee RPG is an RPG Maker 2000 collaboration game between such legends as Lazer Kirby and Waddle Kee. Both being fairly unknown game developers in their unique niche (hint: Kirby fan games) I had stoked the fires of my excitement and arousal the points where it was fairly difficult to keep both hands typing and moving the arrow keys, which Lazer Kirby so kindly explains how to do upon the game’s introduction.
Now, instead of dividing the game’s score into categories like Gameplay, Graphics, Music, etc I’m going to write this review much like a debate case, I’ve already begun with my attention grabbing introduction, so I’ll now be rattling off three arguments as to why you should not be playing this game. All phrased in question form.
Contention I:
When considering whether or not to spend the two or three seconds downloading this Kirby-based fangame you have to consider one main question, do I like the guy who made this game enough to ignore any major flaws in its design? Before crippling ADD distracts you from the question, I’d like to substitute my own answer.
Only if you like big egos and bigger rage posts!
The main matzah behind this game’s name is Lazer Kirby and trust me, for all his ego and lazy excuses you’ll hardly someone who needs this review more than that fella’.
We'll start this tour of Lazer Kirby by pointing out some quotes he's yelled at past reviewers.
(Lazer, use this as a reference guide on what not to do!)
(This is Lazer himself)
Unfortunately, even having the extensive and elaborate knowledge of Kirby I posses (from reading decrepit fanfiction to actually making a game or two in his image), I don’t like the game any more.
I mean, seriously people! This guy needs to keep his best friend ego in the basement where it belongs!
When he’s not bashing reviewers, however, it looks like he is busying himself by stealing resources from other, better rpg maker games! Dare I say more?
Why not take a look yourself?
You’ll notice the gentle waving grass, the sparkly flowers scattered across the ground, and the giant custom sprited Kirby house?
Need more proof? Why not take a look at this, much better, RPG Maker Game: KWRPG: Dream Edition?
(Look familiar?)
(On a side note, you can find said game here: http://kwrpg.revasser.net/kwrpg2de-download.html The author never completed it but it’s got about 3 hours of good gameplay.)
Thus, for the taking without crediting of resources large and small from much better authors, I say Lazer Kirby has no excuses at all for the quality of his RPG.
Contention II:
A second question you might find ask yourself (much like Grendel) would be: "what about this game will continually push and shun any attempts I make to befriend it?"
It's the ability of the author. Unfortunately for us (the gamer) Lazer Kirby never really got around to actually playtesting the game he’d made.
In fact, too many times you'll find yourself taken aback by the sheer lack of effort put into this RPG.
Two common examples of just no forethought or planning whatsoever on the author's part are found when you can enter a map from one direction and leave it the other, then be mystically turned around in every instance you attempt to talk the random Dees just wandering around.
All of these occur before your very first battle, where you learn that by choosing a Star of David you can smack around various Waddle Dees with greater ease. At that point you might notice how both characters use the default "Sword" and "Punch" animations, complete with default sound.
Sometimes characters will mysteriously appear and sometimes the screen will fade to black and not return ever because you moved one tile to the right when you weren't supposed to.
There's some attempt at the quirky, humorous dialogue brand so often used in RPG Maker 2000 games but it almost instantly falls flat as you realize these characters are one dimensional and boring and there's no personality trait you can decipher among them besides how each one like to make cynical wisecracks at each others' expense.
(This is very much how my friends are however)
The list goes on, but this contention does not.
Contention III:
My third and final contention will answer the question: "we've all played average games that had at least one redeemable feature, how isn't that one feature present?"
If you play enough of this game you'll begin to see a slight pattern in the story. Warrior Dee will say something ambiguous, like, "I wonder what's up with those guys", and his buddy with the big eye will immediately mandate that the poor creature charge guns blazing into such beautiful locals as: "My Backyard", or "The Town to the Right".
What this means for you is that you'll be walking from place, to place, to place- ad infinitum.
And just when you though it couldn't get any worse, some unexplained girl-dee-thing shows up and says she needs help getting to Snow but, "the woods is infested" and you need to guide her through.
(It was mainly at this point that I decreed I'd actually spent more time writing this review then actually playing the game it was about)
After slogging another hour or so through boring battles, broken dialogue, and unexplained characters appearing on the edge of map mysteriously I became tired and decided this game could suck it and that I was going to publish this review now.
Conclusion:
To sum it up, the game contains stolen resources from better games and is missing any decent story-planning even though it tries to make up for that with flat, uninteresting dialogue.
Actually Helpful Advice for Lazer:
Graphics”
For starters, dude, make sure to credit obvious use of the resources on your title or introduction screen. Or at least write that somewhere easily seen on the blog page.
Remember, the actual author wants some credit for his work the same way you want credit for your work!
Second, in relation to that, there’s no excuse to use borrowed resources if you don’t have to! Kirby character sets are actually really easy to make and require very little effort.
What’s the best is that you can edit them for every new char instead of designing something brand new.
Take this for example:
These took me about 30 minutes to whip up and now I have a timeless template to both improve on and edit to create my own unique characters.
(though the shading isn’t top notch feel free to use these)
Story:
Try to put some planning into how you make the story instead of just having things happen out of the blue. Random can be funny sometimes, but too much of it only hurts your game.
This also applies to the dialogue. The characters being snarky really drags on the game’s quality after the third flat comment. Google some books or guides on how to write funny dialogue that’s not just random.
Next, give the characters deeper emotions and qualities then simply, “Strong Fighter who is snarky all the bloody time.”
It’s clichéd, but when you create interesting characters with deep emotions the dialogue practically writes itself.
Introduction:
By far, this could use the most work. If you simply must have a long intro, define setting much more clearly. Include dates (such as: The great war was in 2030 and 7 years after that Warrior Dee was born…), the prevailing atmosphere (such as: Dangerous weapons of the great war era scalded the landscape, preventing life-sustaining agriculture from flourishing…), and characters (Now, let’s observe the one unique creature in this scorched universe, Warrior Dee. They say the strongest steel was forged in the hottest fire… And…).
If you can get that part down, the story will begin to manifest itself independent of you and it will make the writing process a whole lot easier.
That’s all the advice I have to give. Don’t give up but do can an idea if it sucks.
Introduction:
Warrior Dee RPG is an RPG Maker 2000 collaboration game between such legends as Lazer Kirby and Waddle Kee. Both being fairly unknown game developers in their unique niche (hint: Kirby fan games) I had stoked the fires of my excitement and arousal the points where it was fairly difficult to keep both hands typing and moving the arrow keys, which Lazer Kirby so kindly explains how to do upon the game’s introduction.
Now, instead of dividing the game’s score into categories like Gameplay, Graphics, Music, etc I’m going to write this review much like a debate case, I’ve already begun with my attention grabbing introduction, so I’ll now be rattling off three arguments as to why you should not be playing this game. All phrased in question form.
Contention I:
When considering whether or not to spend the two or three seconds downloading this Kirby-based fangame you have to consider one main question, do I like the guy who made this game enough to ignore any major flaws in its design? Before crippling ADD distracts you from the question, I’d like to substitute my own answer.
Only if you like big egos and bigger rage posts!
The main matzah behind this game’s name is Lazer Kirby and trust me, for all his ego and lazy excuses you’ll hardly someone who needs this review more than that fella’.
We'll start this tour of Lazer Kirby by pointing out some quotes he's yelled at past reviewers.
(Lazer, use this as a reference guide on what not to do!)
(This is Lazer himself)
Maybe I should have thought twice about this.or even
You see... this is a Kirby based RPG and you seem to know almost NOTHING about Kirby, making this a boring game for you.
and what the hell, this is only a demo. You're treating it like a full game. Idiot.
Unfortunately, even having the extensive and elaborate knowledge of Kirby I posses (from reading decrepit fanfiction to actually making a game or two in his image), I don’t like the game any more.
I mean, seriously people! This guy needs to keep his best friend ego in the basement where it belongs!
When he’s not bashing reviewers, however, it looks like he is busying himself by stealing resources from other, better rpg maker games! Dare I say more?
Why not take a look yourself?
You’ll notice the gentle waving grass, the sparkly flowers scattered across the ground, and the giant custom sprited Kirby house?
Need more proof? Why not take a look at this, much better, RPG Maker Game: KWRPG: Dream Edition?
(Look familiar?)
(On a side note, you can find said game here: http://kwrpg.revasser.net/kwrpg2de-download.html The author never completed it but it’s got about 3 hours of good gameplay.)
Thus, for the taking without crediting of resources large and small from much better authors, I say Lazer Kirby has no excuses at all for the quality of his RPG.
Contention II:
A second question you might find ask yourself (much like Grendel) would be: "what about this game will continually push and shun any attempts I make to befriend it?"
It's the ability of the author. Unfortunately for us (the gamer) Lazer Kirby never really got around to actually playtesting the game he’d made.
In fact, too many times you'll find yourself taken aback by the sheer lack of effort put into this RPG.
Two common examples of just no forethought or planning whatsoever on the author's part are found when you can enter a map from one direction and leave it the other, then be mystically turned around in every instance you attempt to talk the random Dees just wandering around.
All of these occur before your very first battle, where you learn that by choosing a Star of David you can smack around various Waddle Dees with greater ease. At that point you might notice how both characters use the default "Sword" and "Punch" animations, complete with default sound.
Sometimes characters will mysteriously appear and sometimes the screen will fade to black and not return ever because you moved one tile to the right when you weren't supposed to.
There's some attempt at the quirky, humorous dialogue brand so often used in RPG Maker 2000 games but it almost instantly falls flat as you realize these characters are one dimensional and boring and there's no personality trait you can decipher among them besides how each one like to make cynical wisecracks at each others' expense.
(This is very much how my friends are however)
The list goes on, but this contention does not.
Contention III:
My third and final contention will answer the question: "we've all played average games that had at least one redeemable feature, how isn't that one feature present?"
If you play enough of this game you'll begin to see a slight pattern in the story. Warrior Dee will say something ambiguous, like, "I wonder what's up with those guys", and his buddy with the big eye will immediately mandate that the poor creature charge guns blazing into such beautiful locals as: "My Backyard", or "The Town to the Right".
What this means for you is that you'll be walking from place, to place, to place- ad infinitum.
And just when you though it couldn't get any worse, some unexplained girl-dee-thing shows up and says she needs help getting to Snow but, "the woods is infested" and you need to guide her through.
(It was mainly at this point that I decreed I'd actually spent more time writing this review then actually playing the game it was about)
After slogging another hour or so through boring battles, broken dialogue, and unexplained characters appearing on the edge of map mysteriously I became tired and decided this game could suck it and that I was going to publish this review now.
Conclusion:
To sum it up, the game contains stolen resources from better games and is missing any decent story-planning even though it tries to make up for that with flat, uninteresting dialogue.
Actually Helpful Advice for Lazer:
Graphics”
For starters, dude, make sure to credit obvious use of the resources on your title or introduction screen. Or at least write that somewhere easily seen on the blog page.
Remember, the actual author wants some credit for his work the same way you want credit for your work!
Second, in relation to that, there’s no excuse to use borrowed resources if you don’t have to! Kirby character sets are actually really easy to make and require very little effort.
What’s the best is that you can edit them for every new char instead of designing something brand new.
Take this for example:
These took me about 30 minutes to whip up and now I have a timeless template to both improve on and edit to create my own unique characters.
(though the shading isn’t top notch feel free to use these)
Story:
Try to put some planning into how you make the story instead of just having things happen out of the blue. Random can be funny sometimes, but too much of it only hurts your game.
This also applies to the dialogue. The characters being snarky really drags on the game’s quality after the third flat comment. Google some books or guides on how to write funny dialogue that’s not just random.
Next, give the characters deeper emotions and qualities then simply, “Strong Fighter who is snarky all the bloody time.”
It’s clichéd, but when you create interesting characters with deep emotions the dialogue practically writes itself.
Introduction:
By far, this could use the most work. If you simply must have a long intro, define setting much more clearly. Include dates (such as: The great war was in 2030 and 7 years after that Warrior Dee was born…), the prevailing atmosphere (such as: Dangerous weapons of the great war era scalded the landscape, preventing life-sustaining agriculture from flourishing…), and characters (Now, let’s observe the one unique creature in this scorched universe, Warrior Dee. They say the strongest steel was forged in the hottest fire… And…).
If you can get that part down, the story will begin to manifest itself independent of you and it will make the writing process a whole lot easier.
That’s all the advice I have to give. Don’t give up but do can an idea if it sucks.
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Lazer Kirby
306
And also, I said this in my previous review:
"Wait... I take my rude comments back. I realized that the player will not understand the story until s/he plays the full game. So.. I understand why you have a negative review."
and I suck at spriting
"Wait... I take my rude comments back. I realized that the player will not understand the story until s/he plays the full game. So.. I understand why you have a negative review."
and I suck at spriting
You can't hide behind "well it's not the full game!" There are many unfinished games that are better than completed games.
Lazer Kirby
306
He still has some mistakes in the review; such as that I asked permission for resources, not stealing them.
Font
50
You're missing the point.
You never tell people who the resources are from! They want to be credited too, you know.
Also I sucked at spriting a lot before and now I am just almost half-bad.
You never tell people who the resources are from! They want to be credited too, you know.
Also I sucked at spriting a lot before and now I am just almost half-bad.
I've noticed something that happens again and again with people who make effortless crap games: They always whine and make excuses. ALWAYS. I'm serious! I've never seen anyone make a crappy RPG Maker game and say anything along the lines of "there's obviously still a lot of work that needs to be done, so hopefully things will be much more refined with time and practice". No, as if a sign from the Heavens above, you can always tell how bad a game is by how the creator reacts legitimite criticism. I have yet to see a bad game where the creator acknowledges it's flaws and takes it all in stride.
-Tabris
-Tabris
Lazer Kirby
306
But you haven't considered this - someone when things seem to be typical ecuses, they can be true at times.
Are you flaming me?
Are you flaming me?
Ok, here's my opinion of your review.
1: I'M SURE ALL OF YOU STOLE RESOURCES BEFORE, STOP LYING, THE WORLD DOES IT EVERY 3 SECONDS. LAZER KIRBY IS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE HERE, SO THERE'S NO EXCUSE TO KEEP SPAMMING HIM WITH YOUR BLABBERING.
2: Quote by Tabris_Macbeth: I've noticed something that happens again and again with people who make effortless crap games: They always whine and make excuses. ALWAYS. I'm serious! I've never seen anyone make a crappy RPG Maker game and say anything along the lines of "there's obviously still a lot of work that needs to be done, so hopefully things will be much more refined with time and practice". No, as if a sign from the Heavens above, you can always tell how bad a game is by how the creator reacts legitimite criticism. I have yet to see a bad game where the creator acknowledges it's flaws and takes it all in stride.
-Tabris
I'm sure you're trying to excuse your game, right? Seriously, I think YOU are overreacting. Tell me I am, and I can confirm you really are overreacting. That reminds me, that Ponyo is copy of Seaman guy overreacts too-here's what I have to say: Seaman is what... Russian? I assume everyone there hasn't seen the full movie. What kind of fool tries to write a review like that when..?
1: I'M SURE ALL OF YOU STOLE RESOURCES BEFORE, STOP LYING, THE WORLD DOES IT EVERY 3 SECONDS. LAZER KIRBY IS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE HERE, SO THERE'S NO EXCUSE TO KEEP SPAMMING HIM WITH YOUR BLABBERING.
2: Quote by Tabris_Macbeth: I've noticed something that happens again and again with people who make effortless crap games: They always whine and make excuses. ALWAYS. I'm serious! I've never seen anyone make a crappy RPG Maker game and say anything along the lines of "there's obviously still a lot of work that needs to be done, so hopefully things will be much more refined with time and practice". No, as if a sign from the Heavens above, you can always tell how bad a game is by how the creator reacts legitimite criticism. I have yet to see a bad game where the creator acknowledges it's flaws and takes it all in stride.
-Tabris
I'm sure you're trying to excuse your game, right? Seriously, I think YOU are overreacting. Tell me I am, and I can confirm you really are overreacting. That reminds me, that Ponyo is copy of Seaman guy overreacts too-here's what I have to say: Seaman is what... Russian? I assume everyone there hasn't seen the full movie. What kind of fool tries to write a review like that when..?
Lazer Kirby
306
Well, yeah, I've seen at least 10 other poorly made Kirby games that also havetaken resources from KWRPGIIDE.
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