Balmung Cycle Part I: The Messenger and the Heretic

Lets face it friends, some events that happen in Norse Mythology are mind-numbingly dumb and all but halt any attempt by lonely mythology nerds such as myself to speculate or interpret legend. Granted, the Norse didn't have the same (graceful?) methods of storytelling as we happen to have advanced to in modern times. That doesn't mean, however, that something must be forever accepted as fact once firmly established. Especially if the facts in question... Are works of fiction.

Maybe you happen to be a meager and underpaid writer living in a nondescript damp suburbia basement. Likely you are frustrated and frantic, regretting not only your current living situation, but also your writing experience and technique. Perhaps it's just dawned on you that the origins of your story are about as intelligible as a jar of mayo. If you're educated on the matter, you won't fret, as there just so happens to be a well-timed and convenient process specifically used for destroying these awfully tedious plot points. The process in question: Those in the know refer to it as retconning, or retroactive continuity. Why acknowledge your mistakes in crafting poor plot devices and convoluted inconsistencies when you can easily avoid the burden of responsibility by simply claiming something never happened? That, my fellow contemporaries is the very idea of retroactive continuity, and studies by people probably wearing scientific lab coats and wielding chemical stained clipboards have shown that the mere act of retconning an established point of continuity can reduce brain cell workload by thirty-five percent!

So gimme all dem retcon's. In fact, I'm going to retcon all of Ragnarök, because it's convenient for me. No longer is it the final battle between good and evil, but a drug induced vision shared by Odin and the other Aesir gods. The final battle never happened, nor will happen.

Isn't retroactive continuity convenient? I'll say!