Intro

"Alex Gets Oppai" is an endless platformer developed by EvilEagles and SuppaYami using LÖVE or LÖVE 2D. For those unfamiliar with this game making engine it runs on C++ framework and uses Lua as a scripting language and was in 2018 was supposedly the 10th most popular game making program on itch.io with around 2% of developers using it. At any rate this endless platformer is definitely arcade levels of hard. Though, I'll admit some of the difficult is probably because I'm approaching the game from the wrong angle.

Story
Summary

In this game the player takes on the role of Alex a man desperate to get oppai just once in his life and he's willing to climb to the sky beyond the heavens in order to get it. Of course, the deity granting this wish is the Goddess of Sadism so you can expect her to make it rain ice blocks, steel beams, shipping containers, and so on in order to crusher our main character. Oh well, at least he isn't so desperate for oppai that he wears a t-shirt or hoodie with oppai stamped over his chest like a certain super hero for fun does.



Greatest Strength/Weakness

Unlike a lot of other comedy games this project can actually survive whether you particularly find this game funny or not in my opinion. After all, this game is far more about the gameplay. In fact, the game doesn't even include an intro discussing the game's "plot". Were simply dropped straight into the game by the Goddess of Sadism since plot points are for characters with a much longer lifeline than Alex has.

At the same time this lack of emphasis on Alex as a character makes it hard to really care about him getting crushed to death by various objects.

Gameplay

Like a lot of arcade games "Alex Gets Oppai" is rather simple with the player moving left and right with the arrow keys while being able to jump with the space bar. You can also wall jump off of the falling objects in this game, but not against the side rails. Apparently the developer was worried about people using the side rails to set a high score. To be fair, I understand this worry, but if you could wall climb the sides of the stage it would be easier to avoid situations like the one depicted below.



As for how the above situation can occur. It's because the blocks in this game fall entirely at random. So it's possible to end up with a kill stack rather easily if a few blocks land on the edge of a wide block and just keep stacking up on top of each other. After all, even my ability to wall jump won't let me jump out far enough to fix this situation.

Though to be fair this is pretty uncommon. I usually find myself getting crushed to death by falling objects when I attempt to chase after oppai without considering when the next block is going to fall in my mindless quest for points. After all, breasts rain from the sky in this game and to truly appreciate them we need to collect as many as possible. Though I'm a bit surprised they are all the same size and encased within a red bra every time.

Another thing to keep in mind is that ice blocks in this game will disappear a short time after the player comes into contact with them. So melting ice in order to lower certain blocks can be a viable tactic to keep to the lower parts of the screen.

Graphics

Graphically the game is alright in my opinion. The visuals do what they need to do and the game does have a decent amount of color going for it. Though I do wish we got a more zany objects beyond the Goddess chucking ice at us in order to make sure it's tool cold for our little guy to rise to the occasion.

Sound

I'll admit I'm a bit disappointed on this front. I really think the developers should have went all in on the comedy aspect of the game and used Robert Lund's parody song for "99 Red Balloons" by Nena. For those unfamiliar with the parody it's titled "99 Words for Boobs". Plus there are a whole bunch of other songs about breasts out there. Though, I'll admit the developers probably would have had to turn the music down low if they had gone that route. After all, songs with lyrics tend to be annoying. So maybe they could have picked one song for the game's title screen.

At any rate the song that plays while your trying to climb past the heavens is alright I suppose, but rather forgettable in the grand scheme of things. Though I tend to forget what most background tracks sound like after they stop.

Conclusion

It's an arcade game that will usually kill you in a few minutes at most, but I suppose it is fun way to screw around for a little bit. After all, it's not like you can take a game like this seriously.