FAUST'S PROFILE

Hey dude! Haha no, you were never horrible to me actually, as it happens! Genuinely, not to be all "OLDBIE YO" about it, but it was largely the post-2004/2005 crowd that were like HARRYING ME - I actually found quite a few people from before those days were really respectful and friendly and welcoming.

Yeah I hear you. I have like so many memories and details of that period, but obviously my own brain has melded some of the memories to the point where they are beyond recognition. Summarised, I loved the place before I was like "driven out" lol, and felt SADNESS AND LOSS afterwards. Not exactly in-depth revelations XD!

Shit, you have IRC logs and stuff? I remember you pretty much always being like a permanent feature of the IRC channel haha. I had an old PC with pretty much everything on (including some photos of me from the period, like the one in a HAT!) which I wanted to transfer and save things, but then I got lazy and didn't do it, and then my partner's mother made me throw it away when she came up to help us move house (oh no, lost forever :( ).

I know what you mean about old names too - like every time I see one, I get pangs of glee. The issue is, every time I search (over the past decade, anyway), there are fewer and fewer references to those people online - it's how I got here this morning, in fact! Random memory followed by "I WILL SEARCH GAMINGW IN THE GOOGLE", followed by this thread. Like I've totally bummed myself out this morning, just due to the transient nature of things, and like how the vast majority of everything only exists in memory now?

It's really comforting that rpgmaker.net still exists. It kind of reminds me that I didn't just dream that whole period?

But anyway: GOOD TO SEE YOU SHINAN!!

Wow, such thread. People still have FEELINGS and shit, huh?

I tried to make this edit, but it didn't take: Obviously GW affected everyone differently, and everyone has a different takeaway. To me, though, it was a nasty joke that I wasn't in on. If I approached it now, as a thick-skinned adult, it wouldn't have affected me. As a wee babby taking his first steps into the online world, though, it was a vile place, full of bullies and elitists who clumped together to shit on people for no discernible reason.

This really upsets me, actually. I'm really sorry that this was GW's legacy to you. I'm not going to lie, I have something similar, but experienced from the other angle.

I was obviously at GW during the halcyon days (and rpgmaker.net prior to that).

2000-2005 was the period I was most active.

What was it like during the early days? Like a fun forum of nice people, talking about games, planning to make games etc. Bart and I used to write terrible reviews of everything we could get our hands on and bang them up on the main page to add content. Then DP and I would upload every resource we could get our hands on in the hope it would help people with their games.


Someone mentioned Rm2k3 not being hosted earlier - I was actually behind that decision, and (short-sightedly) wrote the "Rm2k3 manifesto", which was kept to by a lot of the community sites at the time. Like a way of trying to avoid rm2k3 entering into the community? Very naive to be honest, as it just meant that sites that DID support it got a lot more traffic. I guess the theory at the time was that RM95/2k/2k3 bullshit was never going to go anywhere, and people should develop their own skills with "actual" game engines if they wanted to actually get anywhere.

Ironic really, given that I now own hundreds of Rm* titles that I've purchased on STEAM. And that I personally developed literally no computer-based skills at all, aside from imposing my will upon teenagers (GO FIGURE, I TEACH NOW HOORAY!)

I did notice a huge decline in GW post-2004. Prior to that, there WAS some unfriendly feeling, but I remember it as being largely a battle between decent people and "bigots" - be aware that this was coloured by the fact that I was openly gay at the time, and in the early 00s there was still a lot of negativity around that, especially among teenagers. So attempting to keep the community clean of prejudice was a big focus. A chunk of my time was spent arguing with homophobes on the forums, and attempting to win my fellow staffers around to the idea that being gay was A-OK!!

I eventually became "chief of staff", which was a bullshit title I invented for myself to distinguish myself from the other admins (being the person who could decide who got to be an admin or not). A lot of it from my end was ego driven, and I genuinely felt I was responsible for the growth of the community sometimes? In retrospect, it was an organic thing that was most likely hindered by my approach, but at the time it felt I was involved in something amazing and full of growth. I sacrificed the majority of my time between the ages of 15-18 to the community, so it was like, it felt like it was mine, if you get what I mean?

Likewise, I had a bit of a history with the original rpgmaker.net (as did Bart/Fenix) which led to negative interactions in how we approached that site. I got fired from the site when it was attempting to relaunch (by Linguar) and had BITTERNESS IN MY HEART!! So when X13 was granted an opportunity to create a new rpgmaker.net, and it failed, with Rast giving the domain to Bart instead, I was full of mockery and gloating towards that community (who became RPGSource). They responded by editing Jack Chick tracts (if you're aware of those), to feature me and mock me for being both gay and Jewish! Oh no! That was an A-OK thing back in the early 00s!

Obviously the whole "targ" thing (which I was never included in NOR really fully understood) seemed to have elements of prejudice to it, especially regarding epithets, but I can't claim to really have ever gotten my head around that, and its prominence grew when I left. Oh yeah - me leaving. Basically, I'd been gone for a few months, as I went to university and my internet had issues (I got banned for downloading too much OH NO!) Bart had stepped down and given the site over to MrY, Alexander, Moriason and AnonymousGuy - four of the previous admins. I still kept in touch with them and gave them advice, but they eventually quit due to a perceived lack of autonomy. I then became homeless for a short while (not like PROPERLY street-level homeless, but couch surfing as some shit had gone pretty wrong for a short period hehe), and while at a friend's house decided to check in on GW (Rowain had been appointed site lead after MrY/Alex/Mori/AG quit previously, as a kind of last man standing thing?) I returned briefly and we clashed a little and basically it was demanded that I stepped down as admin. At the time I didn't see why I should, given that I felt I'd played a significant part in building the community, and having me on staff detracted from the site in no way? Anyway, this response caused Rowain's team (the new staff body he'd promoted, like Steel, fatty (I believe?), panda, various others) to openly and seriously mock and insult me, all over the forum. Given the state my life was in at the time, it very much upset me. So I left.

I popped back every so often after that, to find that it seemed to be mostly targ-based, and very unfriendly. The staff team didn't seem to give a shit about game creation, people like MrY (one of my closest friends at the site) had jumped ship to join rpgmaker.net, and most of the people of influence would openly insult me when they saw me. In fact, Steel (who, weirdly, I later got on with quite well), constantly used me as a kind of early meme to mock people who complained about the direction the site had taken, like "OH THINGS WERE BETTER WHEN LORD_GREMLIAN AND FROZ". I spoke to Bart and he basically backed up Rowain, saying he could do what he likes, so I resigned and left the site. I've never forgiven Bart for that really - behind the scenes, Bart had a great vision for early GW and put SO much work into actually coding the site, but wasn't great at dealing with the community. At the time, I felt that I'd given SO much in building and running the interactional aspects of his website and social community, that it was a total betrayal on his part to basically say "Oh yeah, you get nothing", during a period in which I was already suffering.

I kept in touch with some people, but basically got my life back on track and made myself into the BIG SUCCESS OF TODAY haha.

Note, this is not to vindicate myself - I am very aware that I acted atrociously towards many people back in 2000-2004. I had a whole ego-trip on the go, I genuinely saw myself as like the "father" of the community and therefore felt I "knew best" regarding decisions (including who got to be a member of the community, who got to be in its inner circle etc), I promoted people based on friendship rather than ability (although they DID turn out to be very able in most cases, I MISS YOU MrY!!)

Always happy to chat about the older times with anyone who remembers them. I've actually spoken to a number of people since (I've returned to the site every so often since leaving obviously) and MADE PEACE with some. If anyone remembers me and wants to remind me of how I'd acted like a shit rather than the NICE FIGURE I make out, feel free to do so also.

SORRY FOR RAMBLING, TURNS OUT I STILL CARE ABOUT THIS SHIT WELL INTO MY 30s, OH NO!!

EDIT: OH! I think I missed a step - before Rowain was sole GW Site lead, I'm sure he was part of a second group with UPRC and Mateui? Correct me if I'm wrong. That was the short period I was away for which I missed, in between the MrY and Full-on-Rowain era.

author=WIP
WTFAUST???

HELLOWIP!!!!!:D!!