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My Plan to Move Immediately Fell Through and I Would Appreciate Some Advice on How to Proceed
edchuy- 11/08/2013 07:40 AM
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CloseDamn. My plan to move immediately kind of fell through. My friend's mom outright rejected my proposal to rent the house for myself since she has other plans in mind in addition to considering that I'm capable of paying isn't enough for her.
Apparently, she wants to rent it to a couple who are apparently: a) getting or already married; b) going to be studying nearby.
Since my friend isn't clear of when that situation will be resolved and whether said couple would be willing to allow me to share the house with me, I'm torn as to what to do. As I see it my options are:
a) Give up on the prospect of living in that house and divert my search elsewhere.
b) Stay where I currently live and continue to suffer due to lost time, expense and stress related to the commute until I can arrange moving to the house, which, for now has an undefined date.
c) Talk to some relatives/friends in town who might be willing to allow me to live temporarily in their houses, with the promise of eventually moving out to the house once that situation gets resolved.
I'm personally inclined for option c). My thinking is the following: if I'm able to reduce my commute, even by as little as half, it will definitely allow me to recover lots of time spent otherwise stuck in traffic (more sleep and RMN playtime as well), free up money spent otherwise on gas, allow the situation to be cleared up in time, and, hopefully, be able to move into the house, eventually.
Anyway, for whoever cares, I would like to hear what you think of this situation and what advice you might have (this is a serious request, please). Thanks in advance for your useful?? advice!
Apparently, she wants to rent it to a couple who are apparently: a) getting or already married; b) going to be studying nearby.
Since my friend isn't clear of when that situation will be resolved and whether said couple would be willing to allow me to share the house with me, I'm torn as to what to do. As I see it my options are:
a) Give up on the prospect of living in that house and divert my search elsewhere.
b) Stay where I currently live and continue to suffer due to lost time, expense and stress related to the commute until I can arrange moving to the house, which, for now has an undefined date.
c) Talk to some relatives/friends in town who might be willing to allow me to live temporarily in their houses, with the promise of eventually moving out to the house once that situation gets resolved.
I'm personally inclined for option c). My thinking is the following: if I'm able to reduce my commute, even by as little as half, it will definitely allow me to recover lots of time spent otherwise stuck in traffic (more sleep and RMN playtime as well), free up money spent otherwise on gas, allow the situation to be cleared up in time, and, hopefully, be able to move into the house, eventually.
Anyway, for whoever cares, I would like to hear what you think of this situation and what advice you might have (this is a serious request, please). Thanks in advance for your useful?? advice!
One thing - if you say temporary when you ask to move in, mean temporary. Nothing is worse than someone outstaying their welcome. Also, remember to abide by the rules of the household, even if it's something you don't think is a big deal. Little things tend to break camels backs more than big ones, remember.*
I'd recommend a mix between all three. Look around for better accommodations until you're either confirmed or denied the house in question. In the meantime, either stay at the house you're currently in or ask a friend/relative for a roof for a while. Just make sure you've a few houses lined up for possible living before letting go of your old place - there's nothing worse than turning up on a doorstep with all your stuff, only to be denied due to sudden changes in circumstance and not having somewhere to live at all.
Be sure that the person you move in with in the meantime won't A) take your things, B) invade your privacy, C) ask for more than you can/are prepared to give, D) have a stable home life themselves, E) won't get you involved in shady shit, F) lie about payments (always, ALWAYS get receipts for board. Even if it's family... ESPECIALLY if it's family!), and that they are G) not hurting for living space, H) clear on the rules of the house, I) people you can trust** and J) willing to keep you for a decent amount of time***.
*Recently had a friend of my brother stay with us. He was supposed to stay one month. A year and a half later he got kicked out for doing/dealing drugs with the man who killed my aunt. Mum was not amused. (Sucks as he was a neat guy who enjoyed good anime.)
**Just because you think you can trust someone doesn't mean they're trustworthy. Don't judge by how they've treated you, but by how they've treated those they don't get along with. If they lie and cheat those they hate, then there will be issues if you incidentally break a rule or annoy them with your presence. A good idea is to spread your presence around instead of being home all the time. (Always let them know if/when you'll be back, stick by that and if they're making dinner, make as much effort to get there as they did to make it.) Just a tip.
***A few days on a couch isn't going to help much in the long run. You'll end up running yourself ragged trying to find a way out of their lives. Willingness to keep you can help a lot - the fact that it's not begrudgingly because they feel they should as friends/family does change how you settle into a household, too. Unspoken resentment can cause all kinds of troubles. Helping out with chores and keeping your living area clean go a long way in helping keep up the good will. Also, don't slip after x amount of time. They will notice if you no longer pull your weight after a while. I highly recommend offering to cook meals every now and then (if it's not already part of the house rules) and dishes~
I'd recommend a mix between all three. Look around for better accommodations until you're either confirmed or denied the house in question. In the meantime, either stay at the house you're currently in or ask a friend/relative for a roof for a while. Just make sure you've a few houses lined up for possible living before letting go of your old place - there's nothing worse than turning up on a doorstep with all your stuff, only to be denied due to sudden changes in circumstance and not having somewhere to live at all.
Be sure that the person you move in with in the meantime won't A) take your things, B) invade your privacy, C) ask for more than you can/are prepared to give, D) have a stable home life themselves, E) won't get you involved in shady shit, F) lie about payments (always, ALWAYS get receipts for board. Even if it's family... ESPECIALLY if it's family!), and that they are G) not hurting for living space, H) clear on the rules of the house, I) people you can trust** and J) willing to keep you for a decent amount of time***.
*Recently had a friend of my brother stay with us. He was supposed to stay one month. A year and a half later he got kicked out for doing/dealing drugs with the man who killed my aunt. Mum was not amused. (Sucks as he was a neat guy who enjoyed good anime.)
**Just because you think you can trust someone doesn't mean they're trustworthy. Don't judge by how they've treated you, but by how they've treated those they don't get along with. If they lie and cheat those they hate, then there will be issues if you incidentally break a rule or annoy them with your presence. A good idea is to spread your presence around instead of being home all the time. (Always let them know if/when you'll be back, stick by that and if they're making dinner, make as much effort to get there as they did to make it.) Just a tip.
***A few days on a couch isn't going to help much in the long run. You'll end up running yourself ragged trying to find a way out of their lives. Willingness to keep you can help a lot - the fact that it's not begrudgingly because they feel they should as friends/family does change how you settle into a household, too. Unspoken resentment can cause all kinds of troubles. Helping out with chores and keeping your living area clean go a long way in helping keep up the good will. Also, don't slip after x amount of time. They will notice if you no longer pull your weight after a while. I highly recommend offering to cook meals every now and then (if it's not already part of the house rules) and dishes~
Thanks for the advice, Libby! So, I'm guessing you approve of my choice, but are saying that I should tread lightly about how I go about it, especially if I'm moving into somebody's turf. Just when you think you know somebody, bam! You get a surprise, either good or bad ...
I'll slowly go through my queue of people I know who I should ask for a place to stay, say, at least during the weekdays which accomplishes temporarily the objective I've set myself which is to recover time and save gas money otherwise wasted to driving.
Basically, I'm stuck with paying at least another month of the room I've been renting which is OK, since it is pretty cheap (costs me slightly more than reserving a parking spot in a lot). It doesn't necessarily mean I've to live here during the week. I can always come during the weekend and use it as a refuge of the hustle and bustle of the big city. Also, I noticed I'll be going away for the holidays in exactly 6 weeks, so if things don't get resolved in that time, I guess there's always next year ...
BTW, there's supposedly a room??/floor?? in the house next door to where I live available to rent. Could it possibly be the solution? I'll look into it.
Based on this musing, I will go today to visit an uncle to ask him if he won't mind me shacking up with him, aunt and cousin during the weekdays ... They're the closest I have living in town (speaking in terms of direct kinship).
I'll keep you posted as to how this develops. I wish making these decisions were easier ...
I'll slowly go through my queue of people I know who I should ask for a place to stay, say, at least during the weekdays which accomplishes temporarily the objective I've set myself which is to recover time and save gas money otherwise wasted to driving.
Basically, I'm stuck with paying at least another month of the room I've been renting which is OK, since it is pretty cheap (costs me slightly more than reserving a parking spot in a lot). It doesn't necessarily mean I've to live here during the week. I can always come during the weekend and use it as a refuge of the hustle and bustle of the big city. Also, I noticed I'll be going away for the holidays in exactly 6 weeks, so if things don't get resolved in that time, I guess there's always next year ...
BTW, there's supposedly a room??/floor?? in the house next door to where I live available to rent. Could it possibly be the solution? I'll look into it.
Based on this musing, I will go today to visit an uncle to ask him if he won't mind me shacking up with him, aunt and cousin during the weekdays ... They're the closest I have living in town (speaking in terms of direct kinship).
I'll keep you posted as to how this develops. I wish making these decisions were easier ...
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