ON THE ARROGANCE OF STORYTELLERS

As I mention in the description, this is an Op/Ed piece, so understand going in that this is all subjective.

Okay, so storytelling. If you've noticed my post on the forums, you might've seen a recurring theme in my passionate fight against the "RPGs are about Story" school of thought that exists in the forums.

I think that perhaps people might get the impression from this that I am against story, or that I think story is trivial. This is not really the case, but let me explain where this comes from.

The population of the RPG-Maker-and-Adjacent-Game-Making-Technologies Community are almost exclusively nerds. People who are tech savvy, generally at least somewhat intellectual, often fans of reading and writing, and almost always appreciators of popular culture. This is hardly a bad thing--I'm a meganerd and couldn't imagine any group I'd rather belong to.

But the problem with nerds is that there is a certain arrogance that comes with the territoriy. We grow up thinking of ourselves as smarter than most people, more talented, more worthy custodians of culture.

So we come on to the internet believing we're Cyberspace's biggest badasses. We're brilliant, creative, passionate, and unique, unlike all those people who tormented us in high school.

...and it seems like all of us seem to honestly believe that we're smarter, more talented, more creative, more passionate than the rest of the world. And this leads us to certain....assumptions about our abilities that are just unrealistic.

To whit: everyone on the internet seems to think he's an amazing writer. Go to Fanfiction.net: about 80% of the people on there think they're the next Neil Gaiman. How could they not be? They've read so many books, seen so much media, they're so careful about their grammar, and they're so smart...

...now you might be thinking "But Shadowtext! That's unfair. Everyone knows the Fanfiction Writer is the cursed role that terrible writers of the past are forced to reincarnate into as punishment for their terribility."

Thing is, it's not. Firstly, there are fanfiction writers out there writing stuff that's better than anything that gets published. I mean, I can't name any, because I can't bring myself to sift through all the crap, but I assure you it's all there.

Secondly: we're not much better. Looked at with a truly critical eye, most of our work isn't any better than the fanfic that floods the internet.

And it's not just us. Look all over the internet. You'll see people who take themselves oh, so seriously as real writers, alienated from their peers because of their talents. Read through the blog of any teenaged Emo or Goth and see if you can sit through the poetry.

But we convince ourselves we're better. I'm different, the prospective RPG Maker newbie thinks to himself. I'm going to tell a story that'll really knock their socks off.

And so, we build these intricate stories with twists and turns and brilliant subversions of the cliches that run rampant in the community. And it's okay that we neglect the quality of other aspects of our game, because we're creating true art here, and players will keep going because they want to get to the next part of the story.

...but we don't see our own work through the eyes that we see other people's work through. And so we get ready to release this amazing opus, and we carefully guard the secret plots so that people are surprised by the twists, and we never realize until, say, five years later that this masterpiece we've just produced is....awful. Well not awful. Worse than awful, really: mediocre. It's not remarkable enough to be awful. Awful would at least be memorable! Awful would be something to be proud of. This is just....a drop of water in an endless sea.

...hang on while I resist the urge to sing "Dust in the Wind."

...okay, I'm better.

So anyway, yeah. We go back and we see that stuff I just said. But then we go on and convince ourselves: I can't believe how much better I am now. Ouch! We have learned nothing from our mistakes!

Yes, no doubt we've gotten better in our work over time: it's pretty much impossible not to, if you actually keep doing it and keep trying new things. That's not what I have a problem with. Feeling like you've improved is not the issue here.

It's allowing yourself to get back into that arrogance you had when you first started. "I was crap then, but I'm a genius now."

-_- It's entirely possible that you are. But that attitude....it's reckless, and it's self-destructive.

So yes, I fight against the Story Snobs, and I will continue to do so. Because I used to be one of you, I believed myself to be a good enough storyteller to make Shakespeare gasp. I looked at my old work, and reassured myself: okay, I was wrong then, but now...

And I realized how pointless the whole arrogance thing was (at least in this case--I'm still damned amazing at everything else). And I fight against the attitude I used to have in the hopes that maybe some of the younger members will learn from my mistakes.

Maybe I'm a good writer, a good storyteller now. Maybe I'm not. But I knew that it was time to stop relying on the assumption that I was. If I can tell a good story when I make my games, I'll be very pleased. And I'm certainly going to do what I can to do so.

...but I'm not going to sacrifice the other parts of my game in the pursuit of that. Because I've realized that I'll always think I'm a badass. But maybe having contingency plans will just make me more badass.