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ubon
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ubon
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Closeyeah, let's just go ahead and make this official.
I've never been much good at being a consistent face here, and when I have it's often just been to stir shit up (though mostly by accident -- sorry about that). I'm getting to a place where I can more reliably move forward with stuff, though, and I'm finding that a place like this forum is less and less necessary to me.
why 'necessary'? because it'd have to be -- it's no good for unwinding. seeing the way certain topics (racism, sexism, go figure!) are impossible to broach without predictable faces blowing in and hegemonizing the topic is exhausting, mentally and emotionally. it's the same canned arguments I see secondhand every day, presented to me and others like it's hot new shit that we have to engage with -- and if we don't, we get the business anyway. I'm done with insatiable nerdboys who can't permit a discussion that isn't about them to exist. I'm done with people being harangued into silence and inaction about it.
and I'm finally grown-up enough (or at least I'd like to think I am) to avoid zero-sum arguments with bad-faith randos.
so what's this mean? nah, I don't hate any of your guts. in a scrape, I think most of you are brilliant, creative, thoughtful people who could make something amazing given the time and probably will. every time I've slipped back in, it's been to see how new creators and hobbyists are doing, and see if I can lend a hand with that. the way games are now, we need to help new and silenced voices however we can, or we'll be stuck in this vicious, small-minded rut forever.
the thing is, though, that every time I slipped back in with the intention of doing that, I'd get stuck instead trying to finagle some old-guard libertarian out of his storebought opinion.
so I'm gonna stop doing that. I'll be here, and I'll be watching, but I'm not gonna get involved with anything that isn't game dev, because anything that isn't game dev on this board is 50/50 on the odds of one of the (incredibly small! so small you could hold them in your hand!) pool of resident bigots flapping in.
but as for the game-making side of things, maybe some things will happen in the future. maybe they'll be kind of cute! whatever they are, they'll happen in spite of what I've seen here. I'm not the only person who's noticed this, and I'm not the only person who's made this decision.
the funniest part is that I'm pretty much old guard myself, and I think I was prominent enough and awful enough before I learned better that I've had my own role in making this part of the scene as dismal as it is today. there are ways to fix this, but spending my time dodging respectability politics to oh-so-calmly keep members of hate groups in line isn't turning out productive. I gotta focus on what might work instead.
I believe in you. so I gotta take a different tack.
e: oh, and I'm probably not going to read this topic. go ahead and burst your hot heart's shell upon me. I don't mind.
here's something to play us off, you and me. hey, some of you might even remember this song. bookends, right?
I've never been much good at being a consistent face here, and when I have it's often just been to stir shit up (though mostly by accident -- sorry about that). I'm getting to a place where I can more reliably move forward with stuff, though, and I'm finding that a place like this forum is less and less necessary to me.
why 'necessary'? because it'd have to be -- it's no good for unwinding. seeing the way certain topics (racism, sexism, go figure!) are impossible to broach without predictable faces blowing in and hegemonizing the topic is exhausting, mentally and emotionally. it's the same canned arguments I see secondhand every day, presented to me and others like it's hot new shit that we have to engage with -- and if we don't, we get the business anyway. I'm done with insatiable nerdboys who can't permit a discussion that isn't about them to exist. I'm done with people being harangued into silence and inaction about it.
and I'm finally grown-up enough (or at least I'd like to think I am) to avoid zero-sum arguments with bad-faith randos.
so what's this mean? nah, I don't hate any of your guts. in a scrape, I think most of you are brilliant, creative, thoughtful people who could make something amazing given the time and probably will. every time I've slipped back in, it's been to see how new creators and hobbyists are doing, and see if I can lend a hand with that. the way games are now, we need to help new and silenced voices however we can, or we'll be stuck in this vicious, small-minded rut forever.
the thing is, though, that every time I slipped back in with the intention of doing that, I'd get stuck instead trying to finagle some old-guard libertarian out of his storebought opinion.
so I'm gonna stop doing that. I'll be here, and I'll be watching, but I'm not gonna get involved with anything that isn't game dev, because anything that isn't game dev on this board is 50/50 on the odds of one of the (incredibly small! so small you could hold them in your hand!) pool of resident bigots flapping in.
but as for the game-making side of things, maybe some things will happen in the future. maybe they'll be kind of cute! whatever they are, they'll happen in spite of what I've seen here. I'm not the only person who's noticed this, and I'm not the only person who's made this decision.
the funniest part is that I'm pretty much old guard myself, and I think I was prominent enough and awful enough before I learned better that I've had my own role in making this part of the scene as dismal as it is today. there are ways to fix this, but spending my time dodging respectability politics to oh-so-calmly keep members of hate groups in line isn't turning out productive. I gotta focus on what might work instead.
I believe in you. so I gotta take a different tack.
e: oh, and I'm probably not going to read this topic. go ahead and burst your hot heart's shell upon me. I don't mind.
here's something to play us off, you and me. hey, some of you might even remember this song. bookends, right?
That's too bad man, even though I understand how you feel. I really dig your posts and I really appreciate your perspective, I think they're vital to discussion here. If you need to take a break, do so, but don't be discouraged about dissenting opinions. You know, they're everywhere, and it takes well thought out viewpoints like yourself to work that side of the tug of war.
Don't wander too far man.
Don't wander too far man.
author=Feldschlacht IVMOG, did I ever tell you that mawk helped me make that titlescreen I made for you, by providing critque?
That's too bad man, even though I understand how you feel. I really dig your posts and I really appreciate your perspective, I think they're vital to discussion here. If you need to take a break, do so, but don't be discouraged about dissenting opinions. You know, they're everywhere, and it takes well thought out viewpoints like yourself to work that side of the tug of war.
Don't wander too far man.
_______
0
how much time do you spend on tumblr
its a good indicator of how little youre going to follow through with whatever it is that you just got done announcing youre going to do
its a good indicator of how little youre going to follow through with whatever it is that you just got done announcing youre going to do
author=_______
how much time do you spend on tumblr
its a good indicator of how little youre going to follow through with whatever it is that you just got done announcing youre going to do
I spend zero time on Tumblr, which means I can do anything, right? XD
author=kentonaauthor=Feldschlacht IVMOG, did I ever tell you that mawk helped me make that titlescreen I made for you, by providing critque?
That's too bad man, even though I understand how you feel. I really dig your posts and I really appreciate your perspective, I think they're vital to discussion here. If you need to take a break, do so, but don't be discouraged about dissenting opinions. You know, they're everywhere, and it takes well thought out viewpoints like yourself to work that side of the tug of war.
Don't wander too far man.
Huh, I didn't know that. That's pretty rad.
If this is really the case, then let me start by saying "Good". I mean it too. It's always good when someone decides to do something positive instead of wasting their time with trivial things (arguing on the internet in the end does tend to come down to that). Also, not to sound like an echo chamber, but laying off that tumblr a bit may help with the gam mak. Whatever's in the past is clearly in the past, and I'd rather leave it that way if you don't mind.
Note: Yes, I am aware of the possibility that mawk wont actually read this, but I figure leaving this here may still help someone who stumbles upon this thread.
Note: Yes, I am aware of the possibility that mawk wont actually read this, but I figure leaving this here may still help someone who stumbles upon this thread.
suzy_cheesedreams
1480
I have a lot of respect for you, mawk. Your insight into contentious topics has always been helpful to me.
It sucks to see you go, mawk. You definitely were one of the most colorful and most insightful characters that I’ve seen around here since I started coming back to this site. I always enjoyed the type of stuff that you posted whenever you were on here and all the countless discussions that you were involved in.
Take care of yourself, man. Hope everything goes well for you in the future. ^^
Take care of yourself, man. Hope everything goes well for you in the future. ^^
ubon
66
author=_______
how much time do you spend on tumblr
its a good indicator of how little youre going to follow through with whatever it is that you just got done announcing youre going to do
lmao how many of your posts are like this
I know it's easy to pretend that when this sort of thing happens, so-and-so has been ~subsumed by the global SJW hivemind~ -- but this came naturally. as I became a better critic, I turned that toward stuff that wasn't self-aggrandizing circular bullshit about rpg cliches and followed that where it took me. what's the point of calling yourself a critic if you pretend some things are above it? what's the purpose of a critic who doesn't want anything to change?
and I know this new angle means I'm basically dead to the old stable of aging, angry, uncritical irc coolkids. I'll get by somehow
for the rest of you, though, thanks -- I was kind of dreading the teapot hurricane this shit always becomes, but this has been a pretty pleasant read now that I've swallowed that.
and I'm not gone! I'm just less here. important distinction! this site's still pretty good on the dev side of things, and it's important to focus more on that.
... you know, once christmas stuff is through with. I really chose a poor time for this, but whatever.
e: oh fuck I forgot the song
it takes about forty seconds to kick in so, you know.
I must have looked at this thread, thought up a post, and then left without actually posting it. I could've sworn I posted already?
I'm glad you're sticking around. You have a way of phrasing your points with just enough bite to rock peoples' boats (that's awfully vague but cold meds) while also offering immediate feedback on how to correct the issue you're speaking on. You are an informed voice that I'd hate to lose purely due to the vocality (this is now a 100% legit word) of like... ten people maybe.
I look forward to hearing from you the reasons our (sitewide collective "our") games suck so that I can fix those things.
edit: my certified limited edition "shitlord" avatar doesn't help this message I'm sure; but it's not going anywhere
I'm glad you're sticking around. You have a way of phrasing your points with just enough bite to rock peoples' boats (that's awfully vague but cold meds) while also offering immediate feedback on how to correct the issue you're speaking on. You are an informed voice that I'd hate to lose purely due to the vocality (this is now a 100% legit word) of like... ten people maybe.
I look forward to hearing from you the reasons our (sitewide collective "our") games suck so that I can fix those things.
edit: my certified limited edition "shitlord" avatar doesn't help this message I'm sure; but it's not going anywhere
Shinan
4314
I remember one debate I had with you about some of those subjects that always draw out the worst in people. I remember it because you brought out a point that I hadn't completely considered and it conflicted with my previous ideas on this.
Well I did some quick wikipedia research while talking on irc and found that it seemed your point wasn't completely out of the blue. I had just chosen to ignore the evidence of that. Now later I have found more stuff here and there to read that brings out a more nuanced picture of history (yeah the topic was history) and you could say that whatever random shit we were talking about on irc triggered this revelation.
So yeah I guess there was a point there somewhere.
Well I did some quick wikipedia research while talking on irc and found that it seemed your point wasn't completely out of the blue. I had just chosen to ignore the evidence of that. Now later I have found more stuff here and there to read that brings out a more nuanced picture of history (yeah the topic was history) and you could say that whatever random shit we were talking about on irc triggered this revelation.
So yeah I guess there was a point there somewhere.
e: oh, and I'm probably not going to read this topic. go ahead and burst your hot heart's shell upon me. I don't mind."Joined 12/25/2009 11:35 AM
Makerscore: 0"
Did you remove stuff or was your Makerscore always zero?
_______
0
author=mawk
lmao how many of your posts are like this
I know it's easy to pretend that when this sort of thing happens, so-and-so has been ~subsumed by the global SJW hivemind~ -- but this came naturally. as I became a better critic, I turned that toward stuff that wasn't self-aggrandizing circular bullshit about rpg cliches and followed that where it took me. what's the point of calling yourself a critic if you pretend some things are above it? what's the purpose of a critic who doesn't want anything to change?
and I know this new angle means I'm basically dead to the old stable of aging, angry, uncritical irc coolkids. I'll get by somehow
self realization is just another form of novelty
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