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AMAZING NON-JOKES.
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Corfaisus
"It's frustrating because - as much as Corf is otherwise an irredeemable person - his 2k/3 mapping is on point." ~ psy_wombats
7874
Corfaisus
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I'll start:
Q. What became of the bystander when he wandered into a recently-robbed perfume department?
A. He was innocent.
Also, don't explain your joke.
I'll start:
Q. What became of the bystander when he wandered into a recently-robbed perfume department?
A. He was innocent.
Also, don't explain your joke.
Avee
5794
A hundred men wearing blue jackets, blue hats and riding blue motorcycles meet on the road and decide to build a mansion. When finished, a single man wearing a red jacket, a red hat and riding a red motorcycle shows up and throws a grenade at the mansion. The mansion explodes. Fifty men in blue die.
The remaining fifty men wearing blue jackets, blue hats and riding blue motorcycles then decide to build a regular house. When finished, the same man wearing a red jacket, a red hat and riding a red motorcycle shows up again and throws a grenade at the house. The house explodes. Thirty men in blue die.
The remaining twenty men wearing blue jackets, blue hats and riding blue motorcycles then decide to build a small cottage. When finished, the same man wearing a red jacket, a red hat and riding a red motorcycle shows up yet again and throws a grenade at the cottage. The cottage explodes. Fifteen men in blue die.
The remaining five men wearing blue jackets, blue hats and riding blue motorcycles then decide to build a tool shack. When finished, the same man wearing a red jacket, a red hat and riding a red motorcycle shows up yet AGAIN and throws a grenade at the shack. The shack explodes. A single man in blue remains.
The man in blue is pissed off. He gets on his blue motorcycle and rides after the man in red trying to catch him... But the man in red on his red motorcycle is too fast and he loses him. Point being, red motorcycles are faster than blue ones.
The remaining fifty men wearing blue jackets, blue hats and riding blue motorcycles then decide to build a regular house. When finished, the same man wearing a red jacket, a red hat and riding a red motorcycle shows up again and throws a grenade at the house. The house explodes. Thirty men in blue die.
The remaining twenty men wearing blue jackets, blue hats and riding blue motorcycles then decide to build a small cottage. When finished, the same man wearing a red jacket, a red hat and riding a red motorcycle shows up yet again and throws a grenade at the cottage. The cottage explodes. Fifteen men in blue die.
The remaining five men wearing blue jackets, blue hats and riding blue motorcycles then decide to build a tool shack. When finished, the same man wearing a red jacket, a red hat and riding a red motorcycle shows up yet AGAIN and throws a grenade at the shack. The shack explodes. A single man in blue remains.
The man in blue is pissed off. He gets on his blue motorcycle and rides after the man in red trying to catch him... But the man in red on his red motorcycle is too fast and he loses him. Point being, red motorcycles are faster than blue ones.
Corfaisus
"It's frustrating because - as much as Corf is otherwise an irredeemable person - his 2k/3 mapping is on point." ~ psy_wombats
7874
A man walks into a loo. She's now a famous movie star.
Jeroen_Sol
Nothing reveals Humanity so well as the games it plays. A game of betrayal, where the most suspicious person is brutally murdered? How savage.
3885
Twelve people went to work one morning. They all died.
too soon?
too soon?
Corfaisus
"It's frustrating because - as much as Corf is otherwise an irredeemable person - his 2k/3 mapping is on point." ~ psy_wombats
7874
A blind man walks into a bar. The gymnast fell off and twisted his ankle.
The same blind man later walks into a club. Tiger Woods loses the World Cup.
After an eventful day, said blind man sees a doctor. He's an asshole.
Q. What does Spider Man need more than anything else?
A. A haircut.
The same blind man later walks into a club. Tiger Woods loses the World Cup.
After an eventful day, said blind man sees a doctor. He's an asshole.
Q. What does Spider Man need more than anything else?
A. A haircut.
Your face.
Two dyslexics walk into a bra.
One sunny day, Jim was lounging in the park. He sat there, silently observing the people around him. They were having fun; enjoying the fresh breeze and the warm sun. Children are running about the place, grinning ear to ear. Young couples sat beneath one of the many shady trees, exchanging verses of love and empathy with each other. Jim sighed, and began to reflect silently on his life. His life was a mess. He had no job. No friends. No one to call family. No one to love. He looks up to the heavens with anguished eyes. Why can't I be happy like them? But alas, he can't, for Jim was a chair.
Two dyslexics walk into a bra.
One sunny day, Jim was lounging in the park. He sat there, silently observing the people around him. They were having fun; enjoying the fresh breeze and the warm sun. Children are running about the place, grinning ear to ear. Young couples sat beneath one of the many shady trees, exchanging verses of love and empathy with each other. Jim sighed, and began to reflect silently on his life. His life was a mess. He had no job. No friends. No one to call family. No one to love. He looks up to the heavens with anguished eyes. Why can't I be happy like them? But alas, he can't, for Jim was a chair.
A snail goes to buy a car. He says to the car dealer, "I need something that's really fast and has a giant S painted on the side!"
The dealer is baffled and asks why.
The snail says, "so that when people see me, they'll say, 'Look at that S-car go!'."
The dealer is baffled and asks why.
The snail says, "so that when people see me, they'll say, 'Look at that S-car go!'."
So a boy wants to ask the pretty popular girl to the prom, except that there is a long line of other boys waiting to ask her out. But he really liked the girl and so got in line, waited for his turn, and finally when he got to her he asks her, and she says yes! He was so excited, he wanted this to be the perfect night. So he goes to the tuxedo rental shop, and finds the perfect tux, but there is a long line to get to the till to rent it, but he really liked the tux and really liked the girl and wanted it to be the perfect night, so he got in line, waited for his turn, and finally when he got to the till he paid for his rental. Next, he went to the limo rental place, and found the coolest limo, but there is a long line to get to the front cashier to schedule it, but he really liked the limo and really wanted it to be a special night, so he got in line, waited for his turn, and finally when he got to the cashier he scheduled for the limo and paid for it. Next he went to the flower shop, and found the most perfect corsage. But there was a long line to pay for that, but he really liked the corsage, so he got in line, waited for his turn, and finally when he got to the front he paid for his corsage. Finally, the night of the big prom came, and he got dressed in his tux, got his corsage, and rode the limo to the girl's house and picked her up. They went to the prom, had a marvelous time chatting and dancing, and they sat down to take a break, but then the girl told him that she was feeling a little parched and asked if he could go get her a glass of punch. He gets up, walks over to the refreshments table and there is no punch line.
LockeZ
I'd really like to get rid of LockeZ. His play style is way too unpredictable. He's always like this too. If he ran a country, he'd just kill and imprison people at random until crime stopped.
5958
Guys, this is non-jokes, not dad-jokes.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
To.
To who?
To whom.
--------------
Q: What's green and has wheels?
A: Grass. I lied about the wheels.
--------------
Q: What's red and smells like blue paint?
A: Red paint.
--------------
Q: Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver?
A: Because she's dead.
Who's there?
To.
To who?
To whom.
--------------
Q: What's green and has wheels?
A: Grass. I lied about the wheels.
--------------
Q: What's red and smells like blue paint?
A: Red paint.
--------------
Q: Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver?
A: Because she's dead.
Corfaisus
"It's frustrating because - as much as Corf is otherwise an irredeemable person - his 2k/3 mapping is on point." ~ psy_wombats
7874
author=Isrieri
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
I spit my coffee, and I'm drinking Mountain Dew.
So, a duck walks into a pharmacy, and says "I need something for my beak, it's very chapped.
The pharmacist says "We have nothing for ducks here."
The pharmacist says "We have nothing for ducks here."
My highschool math teacher used to say this all the time:
"What's the difference between a duck?"
"One of their legs is both the same."
"What's the difference between a duck?"
"One of their legs is both the same."
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