RMN PLAYS: FINAL FANTASY TACTICS RANDOMIZER HACK

Ramza, I mean Lockza, I mean LockeZ moves up to the roof. Slightly questionable strategy since he doesn't have any ranged abilities. Typically you're supposed to have Throw Stone and Potion during this battle, making the rooftops a tactically useful place to stand - no such luck for our randomized hero.



The enemy squires are better trained. Watch out, LockeZ! You're a sitting duck up there!



...Never mind. I think we'll be fine.



I was actually REALLY hoping that the whole "you can control the guest characters" thing would continue throughout the entire game. Sadly, no such luck. Delita moves on his own, approaching the enemy.



The other enemy squire poisons me. Guys I think something was in that ham. I don't feel great.



The camera shifts to reveal an enemy lancer I didn't see earlier! Oh no! We're outnumbered!

She doesn't do much besides move forward a bit. She's too far from the battle to do anything yet.



The other two enemy lancers get on the roof with LockeZ. Huh. They can just jump up there from the ground. Which makes sense, I guess.

My concern earlier, about him not having ranged attacks, and thus not being able to do anything from the rooftop, was apparently unfounded. The rooftop is totally the place to be. Combat is definitely happening up here.



Evans hits the streets. He is the WORST LANCER - he can only jump on enemies directly in front of him. As a result, he can't get close enough to hit any of these rapscallions, but at least he has the Defend ability, so he uses that.



Ralph is a little better at jumping - he can jump on enemies 2 tiles away. Though, that's still not enough. He gets as close as he can and waits to be stabbed by the nearest enemy.




LockeZ gets another turn! He's the fastest character right now - almost twice as fast as the lancers. He moves over onto a tile next to the female lancer that the isometric perspective makes really hard to see without the colored overlay, and engages in some rooftop stabbing. This tile puts him slightly higher than one of the enemies, so he has a little bit of an advantage. The enemy lancers have just over 40 HP and will probably take three hits each to kill.

LockeZ also taks 6 damage from poison. That's six times as much damage as Throw Stone did to him earlier. I've never seen a situation in FFT where poison was a useful ability before, but there you have it.



The squire that tossed a stone at me before moves up to Evans and takes a swing for 4 damage. Ha. I am really not concerned about these squires. Also, moving into the water was probably not a great tactic - but these poor uneducated commoners would hardly know such refined battle tactics as maintaining the high ground.



It's hard to tell from the screenshot, but Delita is attacking that enemy squire in the canal, knocking off 80% of its HP in one hit. It's a little weird that these guys are supposed to be thieves who have nothing to do with the military or the knights, but they're in the squire job instead of the thief job. I mean, thief is an actual class in this game.

The other squire poisons Ralph, and LockeZ gets his third turn (before anyone else on my team even gets a second turn). He awaits instructions from RMN before proceeding.

author=LightningLord2
I don't care what Delita does.

That's good because I have no control over what he does! He's a guest character. He's on my side, but controlled by the AI.

author=LouisCyphre
Wish for Delita. He's the real hero.

LockeZ is the only character with a big enough heart to wish his best friend luck. These stupid dragoons don't even care. LockeZ moves towards Delita but it'll take a couple turns before he can do any true believing, because you can only wish upon stars that are 1 tile away. On the way there he stabs an enemy lancer in the face and gets a critical hit, which somewhat depressingly only does 20% more damage than a normal hit. Though, considering that enemies can crit also, is actually fine.

author=Rhyme
Make everyone face Delita

We face Delita, showing him the face of a true friend, who really wants to wish him the best, only my sergeant always told me not to be hopeful for someone until I can see the whites of their eyes. Anyway, I'm sure LockeZ turning his back on the enemy will have no negative repercussions whatsoever.




In a surprise twist, LockeZ is immediately stabbed in the back by an enemy lancer.

Advancing forward, Ralph wrecks this stupid enemy squire, killing it from full health in a single blow. Damn, son.



LockeZ is dead. And no one has a revive ability, because the randomizer started us with lancers instead of chemists! We have three rounds to win the battle before his corpse rots we get a game over.

And I'll be honest: right now, we're kinda outmatched.




Evans, unable to flank the enemy's rear, settles for flanking it in the face. It's like a reverse backstab, which should get twice as much of a hit bonus as a normal backstab, rigth?

Oh hey, look, that critical hit LockeZ got actually mattered. It was just enough to make this enemy die in two hits instead of three. Sweet!

We're not outnumbered any more. They have two lancers and a squire, and so do we. Normally those would be good odds, since the player is supposed to be smarter than the AI. However, in this case, the enemy AI has yet to waste a dozen turns forming a congo line.



As a result, my "don't do stuff that seriously risks a game over" policy suddenly takes over control of Evans's body, and he somehow ends up not facing Delita. Oh no how could this HAPPEN where is this RMN Plays's INTEGRITY



The worst thing about the PSP version of the game is that they got rid of these ridiculous Engrish quotes that people randomly say any time they cast a magic spell.

Also, that squire in the canal stabs Delita for 4 damage. It was so pathetic that I didn't even bother to take a screenshot.



Delita vows to get revenge, and retaliates with the Throw Stone ability... also doing 4 damage.



The difference is: She only had 4 HP left. The moral of the story is, people who live in the sewer shouldn't provoke the future Hero of Ivalice into throwing stones.



It's a little hard to tell which lancer is which. Mine is the one that's poisoned, and is currently being sliced in the nipple.



Ralph, who is in the water, is only in range of one enemy, so he continues his assigned strategy of "advance forward" and heads towards that lancer in the alleyway for some stabby-stabbs. No time for jumping, she's about to get her turn!



Dammit.



Operation: Look lovingly into Delita's eyes will resume whenever it's not suicidal to do so. Sorry Rhyme. But this time I really needed to goad that lancer into moving into range of my other characters, or there was no way this battle would end before LockeZ's corpse rotted. Because I was facing her, she jumped over the building to attack my flank.