BETRAYELS
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Maybe this topic doesn't mean much to anybody here, but I'm just feeling so fucked up right now I wanted to know if anyone else has gone through anything like this before. I'll try and keep it short but it's kind of a long story.
I'm pretty much alone and friendless right now, I don't trust anybody. I broke up with my girlfriend a week and a half ago after being together almost 3 years and living together for at least 1 and now I found out my friend who's been like my brother for the last seven years is telling us both lies because he wants to fuck her or something. He's telling her that I already have another girlfriend and that he thinks we're fucking and trying to come off like a hero by giving her rides and buying her cigarettes and shit. She went over to his house and got drunk and then when me and him hung out the next day he lied and said that she called but he didn't answer. Lately he's been giving me this attitude and I don't know why. He doesn't talk much and he seems pissed at me a lot of the time but I'm not doing anything different. I think he's just frustrated because my ex isn't interested in him and still wants to go out with me.
The thing that's weird is that they were never friends before. When me and her were still going out she hated his guts, she didn't even like when I hung out with him, and now she's taking advantage of him and he's pissed at me because she still wants me but I'm moving on. The only friend I have anymore is this girl Sarah and we're not going out but every time I go to see her people give me shit like "It's a little soon to be looking for a new girlfriend isn't Andy?" but they don't get that she's the only friend I still have who never stabbed me in the back. I've had a few friends in my life who I've considered "best friends", and every one of them has fucked me over.
The first time was once when I was a kid I lent a bunch of games to a friend and he stole them and stopped talking to me and said he didn't have them. Then a few years ago I had a friend steal my MP3 player for no fucking reason and stop talking to me. Then I had a friend who I don't even like to talk about because he did something so bad I don't feel like getting into it in a public forum. Then I had my girlfriend that I thought I was going to marry and she cheated on me and is still begging for me back.
And now my one friend who's been there for me through all of that turned on me, too. People have been telling me that like all he does is talk shit about me for some reason and when I asked him about it he was like "People talk shit about everybody. I mean your my best friend but I'm still going to talk shit about you" but I can honestly say I never talk shit about him. Just last night I talked to him about the whole thing and he swore that he just felt sorry for her and if it really bothered me he wouldn't see her anymore and I told him "Thanks man, it's not that big a deal I just don't like it when my friends feel like they have to keep stuff from me. You're my best friend and I just want you to know I trust you." and he was like "Thanks man." and I thought everything was settled. Then I found out they were hanging out again already today but he lied again when I asked him, so now I feel like even my best friend can lie straight to my face without even feeling sorry for it.
He said that he lied because he didn't want to make me mad, but if he was doing something that he thought I might be mad about, then why even do it in the first place? Can anybody relate to this? Am I being too sensitive? I don't really know, it's just that all this is really turning me into a bitter person, and that's not like me. I don't see why this is a pattern in my life, I'm not the type of person who lets people walk all over them. Everybody is just so two-faced it makes me sick sometimes.
I'm pretty much alone and friendless right now, I don't trust anybody. I broke up with my girlfriend a week and a half ago after being together almost 3 years and living together for at least 1 and now I found out my friend who's been like my brother for the last seven years is telling us both lies because he wants to fuck her or something. He's telling her that I already have another girlfriend and that he thinks we're fucking and trying to come off like a hero by giving her rides and buying her cigarettes and shit. She went over to his house and got drunk and then when me and him hung out the next day he lied and said that she called but he didn't answer. Lately he's been giving me this attitude and I don't know why. He doesn't talk much and he seems pissed at me a lot of the time but I'm not doing anything different. I think he's just frustrated because my ex isn't interested in him and still wants to go out with me.
The thing that's weird is that they were never friends before. When me and her were still going out she hated his guts, she didn't even like when I hung out with him, and now she's taking advantage of him and he's pissed at me because she still wants me but I'm moving on. The only friend I have anymore is this girl Sarah and we're not going out but every time I go to see her people give me shit like "It's a little soon to be looking for a new girlfriend isn't Andy?" but they don't get that she's the only friend I still have who never stabbed me in the back. I've had a few friends in my life who I've considered "best friends", and every one of them has fucked me over.
The first time was once when I was a kid I lent a bunch of games to a friend and he stole them and stopped talking to me and said he didn't have them. Then a few years ago I had a friend steal my MP3 player for no fucking reason and stop talking to me. Then I had a friend who I don't even like to talk about because he did something so bad I don't feel like getting into it in a public forum. Then I had my girlfriend that I thought I was going to marry and she cheated on me and is still begging for me back.
And now my one friend who's been there for me through all of that turned on me, too. People have been telling me that like all he does is talk shit about me for some reason and when I asked him about it he was like "People talk shit about everybody. I mean your my best friend but I'm still going to talk shit about you" but I can honestly say I never talk shit about him. Just last night I talked to him about the whole thing and he swore that he just felt sorry for her and if it really bothered me he wouldn't see her anymore and I told him "Thanks man, it's not that big a deal I just don't like it when my friends feel like they have to keep stuff from me. You're my best friend and I just want you to know I trust you." and he was like "Thanks man." and I thought everything was settled. Then I found out they were hanging out again already today but he lied again when I asked him, so now I feel like even my best friend can lie straight to my face without even feeling sorry for it.
He said that he lied because he didn't want to make me mad, but if he was doing something that he thought I might be mad about, then why even do it in the first place? Can anybody relate to this? Am I being too sensitive? I don't really know, it's just that all this is really turning me into a bitter person, and that's not like me. I don't see why this is a pattern in my life, I'm not the type of person who lets people walk all over them. Everybody is just so two-faced it makes me sick sometimes.
Yes i know how you feel. About 5 years ago i went through the same thing your going through. I was depressed all the time and some of my closest friends that i had been with all throughout high school and uni turned on me. The best thing though is to not get depressed about it and don't listen to what other people say. I did that and now i'm happy with my life again. I have a new girlfriend who i have been dating for a while and i have made new friends.
I can't really relate to you. There were periods of time in my life where I was friendless, but it didn't bother me too much and I accepted that. However, because I was friendless, I suppose you can say it prevented me from actually being hurt by others, though, in turn, I never experience the happiness of having company.
I don't think you are being too sensitive. With all that drama, which you were probably not responsible for, occurring in such a short amount of time, and all that trust dumped out the window, its really difficult to for someone to accept. Seven years of friendship? Why, that's nearly a decade, and there aren't many decades in a human lifespan. So for nearly a tenth or more of your life, you were friends with this person, and now that's gone to dust. There is a good reason that you are angry, and its perfectly fine. However, as long as you know and understand that it will pass -- maybe tomorrow, the day after, the month or year after, you will be fine.
I don't know how much sentiments from a near-stranger on the Internet would really mean to you, but I sincerely hope your situation will improve.
I don't think you are being too sensitive. With all that drama, which you were probably not responsible for, occurring in such a short amount of time, and all that trust dumped out the window, its really difficult to for someone to accept. Seven years of friendship? Why, that's nearly a decade, and there aren't many decades in a human lifespan. So for nearly a tenth or more of your life, you were friends with this person, and now that's gone to dust. There is a good reason that you are angry, and its perfectly fine. However, as long as you know and understand that it will pass -- maybe tomorrow, the day after, the month or year after, you will be fine.
I don't know how much sentiments from a near-stranger on the Internet would really mean to you, but I sincerely hope your situation will improve.
Thanks you guys. I felt a little strange spilling my guts here since I haven't even been coming around that long but you guys seem like cool people and I didn't really have anyone else to talk to. I don't expect anybody to drop everything they're doing and console me but the fact that anyone even took the time to write a response means a lot to me.
I'm still really depressed but I'm trying to keep some perspective on my life, otherwise I might just slip into self-pity and hopelessness. I know things will get better but it feels like I've been waiting for it so long.
Thanks for your time and the sentiment, I'll try not to get too heavy on you guys from now on.
I'm still really depressed but I'm trying to keep some perspective on my life, otherwise I might just slip into self-pity and hopelessness. I know things will get better but it feels like I've been waiting for it so long.
Thanks for your time and the sentiment, I'll try not to get too heavy on you guys from now on.
Ugh.. Woman. Always fucking with your head haha.
For a friend to lie straight to your face and do whatever he's trying to do with your ex tells me he really doesn't have much respect for you after all these years. Maybe he's been jealous or I don't know envious of you this whole time and is just now starting to show you what he really thinks of you.
I think you should maybe like confront him about.. Everything. This has happened to me before and I handled it pretty badly. Ended up beating an old friend up.
For a friend to lie straight to your face and do whatever he's trying to do with your ex tells me he really doesn't have much respect for you after all these years. Maybe he's been jealous or I don't know envious of you this whole time and is just now starting to show you what he really thinks of you.
I think you should maybe like confront him about.. Everything. This has happened to me before and I handled it pretty badly. Ended up beating an old friend up.
Wow, I've been impressed with the lack of snotty responses so far. You wouldn't get this kind of genuine support in some other places.
For me, there was a point in college when things were coming to that point, but it was a result of trying to balance too many things. I got too close to too much and lost perspective.
Nowadays, like most adults, my line of work requires me to be in frequent contact with a lot of different people, so I get my share of socializing whether I want it or not. As far as friends, I used to be one of those introvert types with a small group of really close friends. Now I'm more like Thomas Jefferson's America: Peace, commerce, and honest friendship with all nations â€" entangling alliances with none. My free time is precious and I use most of it to decompress.
It helps that my fiance is also my best friend. Meaning... if we weren't romantically involved, we could easily be really close friends. That said, it's much harder to start out friends and become lovers than the other way around.
For me, there was a point in college when things were coming to that point, but it was a result of trying to balance too many things. I got too close to too much and lost perspective.
Nowadays, like most adults, my line of work requires me to be in frequent contact with a lot of different people, so I get my share of socializing whether I want it or not. As far as friends, I used to be one of those introvert types with a small group of really close friends. Now I'm more like Thomas Jefferson's America: Peace, commerce, and honest friendship with all nations â€" entangling alliances with none. My free time is precious and I use most of it to decompress.
It helps that my fiance is also my best friend. Meaning... if we weren't romantically involved, we could easily be really close friends. That said, it's much harder to start out friends and become lovers than the other way around.
Rev. P: Its fine. Your post was genuine and it wasn't a whine fest like, "My life is the worse life ever." It was just a probably much needed expression.
I can't really think of any way to relate to this right now, but being in high school, shit like this can happen to me a lot. No particular cases jumping out at me right now though...
You know where you should go? Gaiaonline. Honestly, you would get a hell of a lot of support if you posted this in their life issues forum.
You know where you should go? Gaiaonline. Honestly, you would get a hell of a lot of support if you posted this in their life issues forum.
Gaiaonline?! That's the best you can do, myers?
Not that I know exactly where you are coming from, but man. If there is one thing that will drive you mad, it's women.
Not that I know exactly where you are coming from, but man. If there is one thing that will drive you mad, it's women.
author=WIP link=topic=1878.msg30635#msg30635 date=1221023959
Gaiaonline?! That's the best you can do, myers?
Not that I know exactly where you are coming from, but man. If there is one thing that will drive you mad, it's women.
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
What did you expect me to say? And what is wrong with Gaiaonline?
Am I supposed to know something I don't?
Man, that really sucks. I've never had anyone truly betray me, I guess, although I've never actually trusted someone to the point where they could hurt me terribly if they turned on me. I don't really know how to hold a grudge either.
I don't really know what to say, since I don't remember being friendless ever. I guess you should take a break from other people right now and find some sort of hobby that you can enjoy for a while, to get over any bad feelings you have. Maybe you'll meet some cool people along the way too... (Maybe learn an instrument or something)
I don't really know what to say, since I don't remember being friendless ever. I guess you should take a break from other people right now and find some sort of hobby that you can enjoy for a while, to get over any bad feelings you have. Maybe you'll meet some cool people along the way too... (Maybe learn an instrument or something)
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