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[RMVX ACE] WHAT MAKES A GOOD DESCRIPTION?
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Vandriette
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Close I've recently been thinking of ways to bring more people in on the game I am creating, and I feel partially that perhaps having a more detailed, or just plain better description and mini description would help. So, to all the consumers out there, what do you think makes a good description?
You could go into marrend's office the description thread and get marrend people to help you out with it.
Another thing you can do is add eyecandy to your description. Like what i did with that game i uploaded. According to people who like me that works too.
Another thing you can do is add eyecandy to your description. Like what i did with that game i uploaded. According to people who like me that works too.
Marrend's around for this routine, but I just want to bust out my own opinion 'cause why not?
Make sure that you don't oversimplify stuff. People judge by thecover summary these days and it's rather irrational to think of it. Make sure that the description holds everything what the content has and not stuff that does not fit into it. The description also has to delight and make precise details in order to avoid the debate society ire of some people because they will expect, not assume (but mostly, they do).
Rather simple to explain but a hard thing to do when it comes to the test.
Make sure that you don't oversimplify stuff. People judge by the
Rather simple to explain but a hard thing to do when it comes to the test.
I think Accuracy, Brevity, and Clarity (ABC)
Accuracy: The features of your game. Don't boost or users will uninstall your game immediately and vote 1star
Brevity: No one want to read a so long and boring description and then fall to sleep.
Clarity: Obviously, this is your ad for your game.
Accuracy: The features of your game. Don't boost or users will uninstall your game immediately and vote 1star
Brevity: No one want to read a so long and boring description and then fall to sleep.
Clarity: Obviously, this is your ad for your game.
There's brevity and then there's not telling them anything. You need to inform them about your game - give them a synopsis to let them know what they can expect and hook them in to play.
Think of the back of a book cover - that's basically what you want to give. A paragraph that will interest them into wanting to know more about the characters/setting/world/plot.
Which would you choose to play:
Steve finds a magical stone that takes him into a mystical mansion. There he meets the Princess of Dreams and her subjects. Will he stay with her or will he try to return to the real world and his wife who waits there?
vs
Steve, a young man who has just come into possession of a mystical stone after falling down a mineshaft on his his new father-in-law's property, wakes up in a strange room with a beautiful young woman tending to his wounds.
"You can never leave me." she says with weepy eyes and a melancholy smile, and he is inclined to agree, but she is not the only denizen that walks the halls of the Mansion, and not the only one who is determined to see that he stays.
Is there a darkness hiding in the depths of the Mansion or will all his dreams truly come true? Will Steve fall for the charms of the Dream Princess or find a way back to the real world and his new wife?
Think of the back of a book cover - that's basically what you want to give. A paragraph that will interest them into wanting to know more about the characters/setting/world/plot.
Which would you choose to play:
Steve finds a magical stone that takes him into a mystical mansion. There he meets the Princess of Dreams and her subjects. Will he stay with her or will he try to return to the real world and his wife who waits there?
vs
Steve, a young man who has just come into possession of a mystical stone after falling down a mineshaft on his his new father-in-law's property, wakes up in a strange room with a beautiful young woman tending to his wounds.
"You can never leave me." she says with weepy eyes and a melancholy smile, and he is inclined to agree, but she is not the only denizen that walks the halls of the Mansion, and not the only one who is determined to see that he stays.
Is there a darkness hiding in the depths of the Mansion or will all his dreams truly come true? Will Steve fall for the charms of the Dream Princess or find a way back to the real world and his new wife?
http://www.pentadact.com/2012-03-17-gdc-talk-how-to-explain-your-game-to-an-asshole/
I recommend this. Then fill up and add after you've got the attention-keeping introduction bit with the article libby linked.
I recommend this. Then fill up and add after you've got the attention-keeping introduction bit with the article libby linked.
Listen to Mirak's reco and Lib's words.
Also, Don't overdo it. I would recommend to have up to three lines of description/summary and up to five lines of the story. A good exercise is to describe it in one sentence. Or three sentences. This way you can figure out what is essential.
Then the rest can be broken in points (features for example).
If you have a special need to add details, there is always a possibility to make a blog about characters, setting, development. Or you can set up a separate page for it.
Also, Don't overdo it. I would recommend to have up to three lines of description/summary and up to five lines of the story. A good exercise is to describe it in one sentence. Or three sentences. This way you can figure out what is essential.
Then the rest can be broken in points (features for example).
If you have a special need to add details, there is always a possibility to make a blog about characters, setting, development. Or you can set up a separate page for it.
As long as this thread is going to invoke the firemind description thread, let me relay a few observances.
Most game descriptions I see talk about the story the game wants to tell. Sometimes, they include notes about gameplay, but, usually, it centers on the story. Now, the people that post in that thread generally need spelling/grammar fixes, but, I have this tendency to re-write what is written, and add more than a little flair to what is written.
Let's take the gamepage of Might be Magic - Stolen Love as an example. There's the description Kloe wrote (that I later edited, mind)...
...and the one I wrote...
Now, if something like the gamepage of Might be Magic came into the description thread, I think my suggestion would actually be something like...
...this.
Most game descriptions I see talk about the story the game wants to tell. Sometimes, they include notes about gameplay, but, usually, it centers on the story. Now, the people that post in that thread generally need spelling/grammar fixes, but, I have this tendency to re-write what is written, and add more than a little flair to what is written.
Let's take the gamepage of Might be Magic - Stolen Love as an example. There's the description Kloe wrote (that I later edited, mind)...
Made by Team "Might be Magic?" (Kloe, Marrend, Cap_H, and TungerManU) for McBacon Jam 3, Might be Magic: Stolen Love is a Visual Novel/Tactical RPG based off the Might and Magic series, and centered around the theme of inspiration.
The main character, ??? the Thief (nameable character) has the power to inspire others, and recently joined a group of adventurers who are rather uninspired... can Thief inspire everyone, and save both the world and everyone from despair and destruction?
This game features a Turn based TBS battle system, and an old palette.
...and the one I wrote...
For eons, the world of Morn was under the protection of a mysterious guardian. As time passed, that guardian seemed to lose the will to do his duty. Morn, itself, suffered melancholy as he stepped down from his post, and became little more than a legend.
A thief stands before Dago's Inn, a place of rest in the middle of a bleak swamp. She has information for her companions, yet, she only knows the location of one. The others have been scattered to the winds: Wilhelm is under the king's service, Wizzage hides herself among the elves, and the other two are probably in places much like Dago's.
She presses forward, finding her companion too drunk to care about much of anything. Yet, she knows, and trusts, him, and her other companions. She knows what they are capable of. What they can do for this world, if they can just be inspired.
Now, if something like the gamepage of Might be Magic came into the description thread, I think my suggestion would actually be something like...
For eons, the world of Morn was under the protection of a mysterious guardian. As time passed, that guardian seemed to lose the will to do his duty. Morn, itself, suffered melancholy as he stepped down from his post, and became little more than a legend.
A thief stands before Dago's Inn, a place of rest in the middle of a bleak swamp. She has information for her companions, yet, she only knows the location of one. The others have been scattered to the winds: Wilhelm is under the king's service, Wizzage hides herself among the elves, and the other two are probably in places much like Dago's.
She presses forward, finding her companion too drunk to care about much of anything. Yet, she knows, and trusts, him, and her other companions. She knows what they are capable of. What they can do for this world, if they can just be inspired.
Made by Team "Might be Magic?" (Kloe, Marrend, Cap_H, and TungerManU) for McBacon Jam 3, Might be Magic - Stolen Love is a Visual Novel/Tactical RPG based off the Might and Magic series, and centered around the theme of inspiration.
...this.
author=Marrend
As long as this thread is going to invoke thefireminddescription thread, let me relay a few observances.
Most game descriptions I see talk about the story the game wants to tell. Sometimes, they include notes about gameplay, but, usually, it centers on the story. Now, the people that post in that thread generally need spelling/grammar fixes, but, I have this tendency to re-write what is written, and add more than a little flair to what is written.
Let's take the gamepage of Might be Magic - Stolen Love as an example. There's the description Kloe wrote (that I later edited, mind)...
Made by Team "Might be Magic?" (Kloe, Marrend, Cap_H, and TungerManU) for McBacon Jam 3, Might be Magic: Stolen Love is a Visual Novel/Tactical RPG based off the Might and Magic series, and centered around the theme of inspiration.
The main character, ??? the Thief (nameable character) has the power to inspire others, and recently joined a group of adventurers who are rather uninspired... can Thief inspire everyone, and save both the world and everyone from despair and destruction?
This game features a Turn based TBS battle system, and an old palette.
...and the one I wrote...
For eons, the world of Morn was under the protection of a mysterious guardian. As time passed, that guardian seemed to lose the will to do his duty. Morn, itself, suffered melancholy as he stepped down from his post, and became little more than a legend.
A thief stands before Dago's Inn, a place of rest in the middle of a bleak swamp. She has information for her companions, yet, she only knows the location of one. The others have been scattered to the winds: Wilhelm is under the king's service, Wizzage hides herself among the elves, and the other two are probably in places much like Dago's.
She presses forward, finding her companion too drunk to care about much of anything. Yet, she knows, and trusts, him, and her other companions. She knows what they are capable of. What they can do for this world, if they can just be inspired.
Now, if something like the gamepage of Might be Magic came into the description thread, I think my suggestion would actually be something like...
For eons, the world of Morn was under the protection of a mysterious guardian. As time passed, that guardian seemed to lose the will to do his duty. Morn, itself, suffered melancholy as he stepped down from his post, and became little more than a legend.
A thief stands before Dago's Inn, a place of rest in the middle of a bleak swamp. She has information for her companions, yet, she only knows the location of one. The others have been scattered to the winds: Wilhelm is under the king's service, Wizzage hides herself among the elves, and the other two are probably in places much like Dago's.
She presses forward, finding her companion too drunk to care about much of anything. Yet, she knows, and trusts, him, and her other companions. She knows what they are capable of. What they can do for this world, if they can just be inspired.
Made by Team "Might be Magic?" (Kloe, Marrend, Cap_H, and TungerManU) for McBacon Jam 3, Might be Magic - Stolen Love is a Visual Novel/Tactical RPG based off the Might and Magic series, and centered around the theme of inspiration.
...this.
I'm having sort of a dilenma, and it might be negatively affecting how people see my game. See, I'm not even sure whether to release a small teaser for the portion of the game I have created, or just finish up the first two episodes. The game has been in production for awhile, and its just pure procrastination that it has taken so long. I want that to end. I have a small teaser coming up, but do I make a description for the demo, or a description for the full game? Or should I even make a demo?
Description should be based on the full game. That's what the page is there for, not your demo (though demos can certainly be added).
The demo is just a taste test of the full thing to get feedback to help you know if something needs adjusting, I imagine, so while it's not going to be the full game (and no-one expects it to as long as you let them know when you release it what it covers - a blog is usually sufficient) it is part of the game.
The demo is just a taste test of the full thing to get feedback to help you know if something needs adjusting, I imagine, so while it's not going to be the full game (and no-one expects it to as long as you let them know when you release it what it covers - a blog is usually sufficient) it is part of the game.
Let me add some pointers for you too. When it comes to writing a description - there are some simple rules:
1. Create a world in a single sentence. And use that sentence to write down a paragraph to highlight things that give good reasons to play the game.
2. Don't overkill with detail.
3. Less is more.
4. Don't oversell.
5. Use the second paragraph to elaborate on the plot and gameplay.
6. Finish with platforms you can play the game on, or technical details.
1. Create a world in a single sentence. And use that sentence to write down a paragraph to highlight things that give good reasons to play the game.
2. Don't overkill with detail.
3. Less is more.
4. Don't oversell.
5. Use the second paragraph to elaborate on the plot and gameplay.
6. Finish with platforms you can play the game on, or technical details.
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