GOING ON HIATUS

Effective immediately, I am going on a long hiatus from RMN and RMN controlled things; roughly six months or so at least. There are a number of things that have lead up to this, and I will get into all of that soon. This is something that I’ve been contemplating for a while (several weeks at least), so bear that in mind as I go through a whole list of things that have been bugging me and making this necessary.

First, I’m sure there are a reasonable number of people quite happy about this. A fair number of people have upset me over the years, and I’ve upset as well, so, I give you folks a brief moment of reprieve with this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHQLQ1Rc_Js

replace “witch” with “bitch” and “she” with “he” and you’re good to go, so go on then, you’re gonna need it.

If you wanna REALLY respond to this, I suggest hunting me down, unless you want a 6 month wait on a response. I wont be reading any responses or PMs here until the hiatus is over, and even that depends on it even being possible for it to be read by me. On a side note, if you’re wondering why I haven’t really jumping into arguments or calling shit out like I’m suppose to, it’s all because of this.

Next, Ill address the RMN Discord server stuff. First of all, I’m turning over all primary control that I have to someone whom I trust with my life, someone I can trust when I can’t trust myself in these sorts of situations, and is a staff member in all sorts of places (translation, Nessy). Basically, whatever she decides is the best course of action, I can trust and have no regrets about. With that, I’ll be done with RMN discord. It’ll be more than able to take care of itself without me.

I have a confession to make; #NSFW’s deletion was going to happen even if it was complying with every little thing. Remember how I said this hiatus was on my mind for weeks now? I had no intention of letting anyone else carry the risky burden that it was. The drama that transpired simply made things more convenient, although some of the drama has aggravated other things some. Speaking of the drama; no, I’m not doing this cause of what kloe did or what happened to her. If you’re thinking this, reread my opening paragraph at least 7 more times.

As for the engines pages, there really isn’t much desire from what I can tell from them. I’d even say that maybe listing a games engine is something that should be less mandatory and slowly wind down as mandatory due to the current BS of games being stigmatized solely based on the software used to make it(Yes, I know there’s more to it than that; there’s ALWAYS more to it than that). I don’t feel much of a need or reward for trying to keep it a bit more up to date, and not being able to do my job because of shit reasoning that’s been debunked via submissions gives me even less to take even a shred of pride in.

So, that leaves us with events. What of McBacon Jam you ask? Unless I end up being trimmed fat after my hiatus(or banne), I’ll see about running at least one more; resignation or not. I pondered the idea of other events so I wasn’t some boring, one trick pony. These concepts and ideas would have to be discussed, and this is assuming of course that I continue doing what I do after I’m back.

Those were duties I was active in and in the minds of at least some, was at least somewhat competent in. There is still the issue of coding the site. In this regard, I personally have fallen short in this regard. Its safe to say I’m not anywhere near competent enough to really be messing with that, let alone a more than a shred more competent than I was when I offered to help out on that front. In this regard, I am a failure, and until I can get my shit together properly and get a flow going so that I am respectable and capable in such matters, I shall remain such. For anyone who matters that I’ve let down in regards to it, I apologize.

There are more things I may as well address since I’m taking the time to do all this. TFT, somehow, someway, I know this will get your attention, so I owe you a lil something, and I’ll take care of that right here, and right now. An honest, sincere apology. Back when ghost was around, you were calling him out and I gave you some shit for it. I was wrong, he was and VERY VERY likely is still a piece of shit. For that, I apologize to you. Now, this being shmup business, I don’t expect anything serious or heartfelt in response, and THAT OK. An apology was due, and it’s at least been given, and sincerely at that. For anyone saying that TFT doesn’t deserve any apologies, it’s probably safe to say he’s far more deserving of my respect in spite of all he’s done than you are, so kindly piss off please.

Something else I’ll address but not name the person who asked me, for their protection. Said person asked me how I felt being a staff member of a “dead place” (I’m paraphrasing because I forgot the original wording). I don’t think “dead” is anywhere near accurate really. Even “dying” might be pushing it. “Suffering from cancer” may be a better way to put it, but that could be said of most communities. To be perfectly honest, I’m an outsider, and watching a place you called home go in a downward spiral is painful. I at least try to do what I can here at RMN, and hope what little I do makes some impact. To be fair, I’m not sure there’s anything I could do for the other places I’ve tried to help. I hope that at least somewhat answers your question.

And now, the grand finale, the real thing that is making me feel the need to take this hiatus. I beginning to lose trust in people, even some of my friends. Because of this, the pool of people I feel I can talk to feels like its dwindling. I wont hold myself up as some paragon or lovable person even; but seriously, some of you people are going way off the deep end here. You’re becoming the monster you claim to hate, and it pains me.

P.S: If you’re worried about me going rogue, Just bear in mind that I have enough friends in staff to not want to bring (more?)shame to myself that way.