HEXATONA WRITES TERRIBLE EROTIC FANFICTION OF RANDOM RMNERS AND VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS AND NOBODY CAN STOP HIM

"Mithra, I don't think we should be doing this ..." said Frog, one of the many manservants the head of the holy order, Mithra, had waiting on her. It was difficult to speak through the gag, but Mithra always understood what he was saying.

As the leader of the Holy Order, and it's symbol of virtue, she was always presented as an icon of virgin purity and wholesomeness for everyone to look up to.

In reality, she was a sadistic and lustful deviant of the highest caliber. And, the most terrible secret of all, she was actually born a man. In all outward ways and appearances, Mithra was a woman. But in reality ...

Frog was naked, suspended in midair by ropes and straps of leather, blindfolded and gagged. he was decidedly uncomfortable, but he was her servant, and if this is what she needed to wind down, who was he to re-fuse.

"Oh, don't be such a baby, Frog." Mithra said, removing her outer clothes to reveal a restrictive leather harness. Frog could hear her cracking her knuckles and giving a few test swings of some implement.

"But, mistress, this doesn't entirely seem an appropriate use of... ah... manpower."

Mithra sighed, and came up very close to Frog's ear.

She began to whisper, "Frog, who is your master?"

"You are, Master."

"I said to always call me Mistress! Mistress, Frog! Now, Does your master have a very important job?"

"Yes, Mistress."

"If I was never able to vent all my feelings of stress and frustration, wouldn't I start to do worse at my job?"

"It's very likely, Mistress."

"Then, can you not see how this is a perfectly good use of manpower?"

"I... I believe I understand, Mistress. I'm sorry I doubted you."

"Yes, you will be sorry." She said, as she whipped his buttocks lightly. Frog let out a sharp gasp of pain. To his shame, his drool was seeping out through the holes of the gag.

~Fin~

I'm just happy I got the gender right. Some of you RMNers make it pretty damn difficult to write this stuff with your ambiguous profiles!

Liberty's Pokey Problem

The expedition out to dry dry ruins was originally Liberty's Grandfather's idea.
Unfortunately, a bad case of pneumonia had gotten hold of him mere weeks before he was set to move out. On his deathbed he told Liberty, his favourite granddaughter, the he hoped his preparations would not be in vain, if she would indeed take up his cause and investigate the legends of Tutankoopa.

Determined to do good by her grandpap, and with honestly nothing better to do in her life, Liberty set out the very next day!

---Two Weeks Later---

"SO MUCH. GODDAMNED. SAND. FUCK!" Liberty gasped, after rolling out of yet another dune. Her clumsiness had gotten her in several sandalanches, and avery movement was like a fresh new torture as her skin became more mineral than animal.

"That's it, I've had enough of this!" she grumbled, and started removing her clothes to shake them out of sand. Despite being dozens of miles out in the middle of nowhere, she still took a quick look around for onlookers, and dashed behind a small enclosed area of exposed sandbricks and cacti.

She quickly began removing all her clothes, and shook them out as best as she could. As each was done, she hung them on a nearby cacti to keep them from blowing away and falling back into the sand. BY then, she realized that the sand had gotten into FAR more places than she was comfortable with, and began divesting herself of the offending particles.

"YOW!!" she yelled, after feeling a sharp scrape against her thigh. She turned and saw a nearby cactus, then reasoned she had been too close. A few seconds later, she felt another sharp prick. "What in the hell-"

She turned around to discover what she had assumed were just some random cacti were in fact a gang of pokeys! Very territorial pokeys who now had her clothes!! She wanted to run, but then she'd be all naked in the desert, but the longer she stayed trying to get her clothes, the more angry they were going to get.

She jumped at her panties, but missed and fell against the pokey with her arm. "Ow ow ow!!" Another pokey came into reach and she grabbed a sock, but a pokey behind her poked her solidly in the ass. "AGH! Fucking pokeys!"

They didn't take that well.

---20 minutes later---

"AAAGH OKAY I'M SORRY, I'M SORRYYYY!" Liberty wailed, covered from head to toe (but strangely enough mostly in the butt and thighs area) with pokey needles. When what to her desperate ears should appear, but the shouts of ten toads with plant-hacking gear.

Their eyes - how they twinkled! Their bellows, how merry,
Their eyes were all red, like a sweet candied cherry!
With each swing of the axe, their bodies did glow
with the juices of enemies laid down below!

In moments, Liberty was freed from her thorny prison, and (most) of her clothes, such as they were, laid before her. "Oh, thank you, gentle toads! I'll never forget how you saved me from those beasts!"

The toads all looked at each other, and the leader said in that scratchy, toad voice that would come to haunt liberty in the days to come, "Oh yer gonna remember us alright!" The toads simultaneously divested themselves of their trousers.

"Oooh, dear..."

---An Hour and a Half Later---

Stumbling through the desert now with badly tattered clothes and features that might be described as "heavily disheveled" by someone if they were being kind, Liberty finally crested a dune and saw almost miraculously that a gigantic temple-like structure loomed before her. "I-I Did it..?" she whimpered to herself finally. "I found it grandpap! I found it!!"

Just then, a curious fellow in a red cap walked out of the front entrance with a full bag of nicknacks and an entourage of Mushroom Kingdom Critters. He noticed her, felt a bit bad and gave her a mushroom and a few coins, then gestured behind him, saying, "Crazy the things you just find out in the desert, eh?" And then walked off into the sands.

~Fin~

Ocean was waiting at home for Natsuki to arrive. He was a bit impatient, since this whole literature club thing had mostly been to help out his friend, but now he was writing poems everyday, and now he had to set aside his sunday to make cupcakes. Ah well, at least he would have a girl inside his house!

Suddenly a knock. Ocean walked to the door and opened it. There stood Natsuki, with a large bag, and a... very hot looking and long coat.

Ocean smiled and offered to take her jacket and bag, but she stammered, "N-No, it's okay. I've got it! Just.. Just leave these to me."

Ocean shrugged, and led her back to the kitchen, trying to explain where everything they might need was. When he turned to look at her, though, she had a very red face.

She looked like she was trying very hard to be confident, and failing. Finally, she stammered, while holding on to her coat. "W-well, would you like to bake some cupcakes, o-or take a l-look at these s-sugar tits!"

And opened her jacket. She revealed some sheer red lingerie, and very little else. Stunned, Ocean was speechless for a moment.

"Oh god t-this was so stupid, I'm so-" she began, and tried to frantically put her coat back on and rush out the door, but Ocean caught her hand and stopped her, looked her in the eyes and said "Do you like donuts?"

"W-what??" she stammered

"Because I'm about to turn you into a Boston Cream."

Somehow, her blush deepened. "Oh my..."

~Fin~

(Please feel free to come up with more sexy pastry related puns)

Well, it's the least I can do after murdering you in cold blood~


EDIT: What the what!? This forum apparently filters out Unicode Emojis :/

as per earlier thought...

"I hope you like cream pies."

"Give me a sweet meringue topping!"

"I'm tired of being your toaster strudel... Make me into a twinkie, baby~"
(you might have the think about that one)

10/10 would be killed by hexatona then word molested again