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Liberty
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CloseSome of us play Pathfinder, DnD and the other iterations of 'roll dice, do shit' games. Let's share stories!
I got into it at 16-years-old. My first game was Advanced Dungeons and Dragons, 2nd Edition, and there was also some Ravenloft and White Wolf (Vampire: The Masquerade). So, we all played as well as a bunch of 16-year-olds would. The DM, who's name was Joe, always had a PC self insert, a wizard/asshole named Nothraunting (which the name itself was a pun: I'm Not Ranting! I don't actually remember if Joe told us how he came up with the off beat spelling and pronunciation, but I distinctly remember him explaining the pun), and let's be clear, Joe always deliberately played him like an asshole. It was completely deliberate and Joe was quite proud of being an asshole. Still, he would have us occasionally try our hands at DMing. Now, as you read this, bare in mind that we were all 16-years-old. It is crucial to understanding our mentality throughout this story.
I don't remember what level I was, but I was a fighter/mage and whatever level I was, I had 121 hit points. This was the character I was using for the fledgling DM's game. It was Leonard's turn to try DMing. Well, I had four elemental rings, and Joe's character that he was playing in Leonard's guest session was, big surprise, Nothraunting. In the regular campaign, Nothraunting gave me four elemental rings. Now, remember, 16-years-old. I acquired some sort of skin shaping ability in Leonard's mission, and I asked if could shape my skin to permanently fuse the rings to my hand, (Joe had a habit of making us lose things in the regular game).
Leonard absolutely went nuts. He told me off for a solid five minutes and, and I'll never forget this, he finally said, "You know what! You have to do it now! You don't have a choice now! And you know what, what's your HP?" "121" "Okay! Okay! I'm going to roll a 1d120 and however much I roll, that's how much you permanently lose!" "Is there a such dice as d120?" "There doesn't have to be! It's my computer dice roller!" Mind you this was 1996. If we had a random number generator, it's because we made it. If there was ever anything like that online, you had to pay for it. "Here we go." He entered the number, looked at the screen and started laughing hysterically. Guess what he rolled.
Natural one.
There were five of us in the group, and we really couldn't complete the session. We couldn't stop laughing.
I don't remember what level I was, but I was a fighter/mage and whatever level I was, I had 121 hit points. This was the character I was using for the fledgling DM's game. It was Leonard's turn to try DMing. Well, I had four elemental rings, and Joe's character that he was playing in Leonard's guest session was, big surprise, Nothraunting. In the regular campaign, Nothraunting gave me four elemental rings. Now, remember, 16-years-old. I acquired some sort of skin shaping ability in Leonard's mission, and I asked if could shape my skin to permanently fuse the rings to my hand, (Joe had a habit of making us lose things in the regular game).
Leonard absolutely went nuts. He told me off for a solid five minutes and, and I'll never forget this, he finally said, "You know what! You have to do it now! You don't have a choice now! And you know what, what's your HP?" "121" "Okay! Okay! I'm going to roll a 1d120 and however much I roll, that's how much you permanently lose!" "Is there a such dice as d120?" "There doesn't have to be! It's my computer dice roller!" Mind you this was 1996. If we had a random number generator, it's because we made it. If there was ever anything like that online, you had to pay for it. "Here we go." He entered the number, looked at the screen and started laughing hysterically. Guess what he rolled.
Natural one.
There were five of us in the group, and we really couldn't complete the session. We couldn't stop laughing.
The role-playing group I was in between junior and senior high played a bunch of games. However, we had a bad tendency to forgo reading about how to actually play those games, and jump straight into character gen. "Screw this! Let's make a character!" was a legit line one of us used, I swear.
Suffice it to say, we had some pretty wacky characters. I recall at least one guy in one of our Middle Earth Role Playing Game games that had this Elven Wizard that may have been more adept at taking things out with his weapon than with spells? There was one character I ran that I just rolled really well for, and because of the game's concept of "Absolute Success", I generally kept doing broken things with him.
I'm pretty sure our Hero System games/characters went nowhere. We looked at the character generation chapter, saw lots of tables, saw that it could involve complex math, and the benefits of finishing a campaign, much less a single story arc, didn't seem very good to us at all. Still, I think we managed some characters, and maybe a session or two before we gave that up.
I know we played Rfits, but, I cannot remember a thing about what we did with it.
There were two years I went to a summer camp, and I played an original game designed by one of the senior camp counselors. It went by the name of Ad Astra, and I was always confused about what the hell was going on because it felt like an extended campaign that obviously began way, way before I came in.
I seem to recall playing a vampire in a World of Darkness game, but, I was largely confused by why I was forced into a vampire when we clearly had a werewolf character, and the other person who was in the group never showed up. I recall the DM making a snide comment about that character "being in flux", or some-such. That aside, I could not roleplay a vampire for the life of me (I'd probably be better off as a mage?), and I left after that one session.
*Edit: Of course, we had a few sessions of AD&D. I'm pretty sure 3rd Edition wasn't out yet, and there was only two or three players (including myself) and the DM. I seem to recall wanting to play a Paladin, but, Darigaaz, being required to put a 17 into Charisma was painful. At least, I think that was a requirement? Well, we knew that's how it worked in Curse of the Azure Bonds, and we probably assumed that's how it worked in regular AD&D. Anyway, I don't remember much of our sessions, but, I seem to recall my character getting married to a nymph? Somehow? I don't recall the details, sorry.
*Edit2: I think I recall making characters for D&D 3rd edition. I think we had a program, even. However, we never played any sessions of it. After senior high, tabletop RPGs fell off the radar. Though, in a few more years, that would be about the time I was introduced to this thing called "RPG Maker", so...
Suffice it to say, we had some pretty wacky characters. I recall at least one guy in one of our Middle Earth Role Playing Game games that had this Elven Wizard that may have been more adept at taking things out with his weapon than with spells? There was one character I ran that I just rolled really well for, and because of the game's concept of "Absolute Success", I generally kept doing broken things with him.
I'm pretty sure our Hero System games/characters went nowhere. We looked at the character generation chapter, saw lots of tables, saw that it could involve complex math, and the benefits of finishing a campaign, much less a single story arc, didn't seem very good to us at all. Still, I think we managed some characters, and maybe a session or two before we gave that up.
I know we played Rfits, but, I cannot remember a thing about what we did with it.
There were two years I went to a summer camp, and I played an original game designed by one of the senior camp counselors. It went by the name of Ad Astra, and I was always confused about what the hell was going on because it felt like an extended campaign that obviously began way, way before I came in.
I seem to recall playing a vampire in a World of Darkness game, but, I was largely confused by why I was forced into a vampire when we clearly had a werewolf character, and the other person who was in the group never showed up. I recall the DM making a snide comment about that character "being in flux", or some-such. That aside, I could not roleplay a vampire for the life of me (I'd probably be better off as a mage?), and I left after that one session.
*Edit: Of course, we had a few sessions of AD&D. I'm pretty sure 3rd Edition wasn't out yet, and there was only two or three players (including myself) and the DM. I seem to recall wanting to play a Paladin, but, Darigaaz, being required to put a 17 into Charisma was painful. At least, I think that was a requirement? Well, we knew that's how it worked in Curse of the Azure Bonds, and we probably assumed that's how it worked in regular AD&D. Anyway, I don't remember much of our sessions, but, I seem to recall my character getting married to a nymph? Somehow? I don't recall the details, sorry.
*Edit2: I think I recall making characters for D&D 3rd edition. I think we had a program, even. However, we never played any sessions of it. After senior high, tabletop RPGs fell off the radar. Though, in a few more years, that would be about the time I was introduced to this thing called "RPG Maker", so...
Shinan
4314
The one story that always comes to mind is one whhile we were playing a cyberpunk game (Neotech 2). A weirdly fun part of that game is in the detailed wound system so sometimes we'd just do an alleyway shootout to see all the grisly concequences. So this was the kind of system that was so deadly we hardly ever had the courage to get into fights in the actual game. (except with sniper rifles against unarmed and unaware opponents)
Anyway.
The PCs got into an elevator and went up some floors carrying SMGs (one uzi in each hand obviously). I don't even remember what the mission was, taking out some corporate guards or maybe it was just regular gang warfare. The elevator doors opened and they stood face to face with said guards and raised their weapons. As did the enemies.
A nice little standoff going with the fun bit of thinking I had (The GM) that the elevator doors would close and there'd be a staircase chase or... you know, whatever would come up.
Now an automatic weapon fire at point blank range is superdeadly, so one of the PCs had the (completely reasonable) idea of shooting first. Possibly taking down most of the enemies and making it out with at most a scratch.
The dice were rolled. And it was a critical failure. The critical failure table determined that the magazine fell out of the weapon as the PC tried to shoot. There was still a bullet in the chamber that went off but it had a 1/6 chance of hitting anything.
Then the enemies opened fire and rarely has there been such a shredding of PCs. We rolled all those lovely wounds and then we imagined the slow-motion movie scene version of it where the guys were standing still, staring at each other and the magazine falling out of the weapon and the spray of automatic fire.
When the elevator doors finally closed all but one of the PCs were dead and the one alive was bleeding to death.
Then we laughed about it and rewound the tape to before the PCs entered the elevator.
Anyway.
The PCs got into an elevator and went up some floors carrying SMGs (one uzi in each hand obviously). I don't even remember what the mission was, taking out some corporate guards or maybe it was just regular gang warfare. The elevator doors opened and they stood face to face with said guards and raised their weapons. As did the enemies.
A nice little standoff going with the fun bit of thinking I had (The GM) that the elevator doors would close and there'd be a staircase chase or... you know, whatever would come up.
Now an automatic weapon fire at point blank range is superdeadly, so one of the PCs had the (completely reasonable) idea of shooting first. Possibly taking down most of the enemies and making it out with at most a scratch.
The dice were rolled. And it was a critical failure. The critical failure table determined that the magazine fell out of the weapon as the PC tried to shoot. There was still a bullet in the chamber that went off but it had a 1/6 chance of hitting anything.
Then the enemies opened fire and rarely has there been such a shredding of PCs. We rolled all those lovely wounds and then we imagined the slow-motion movie scene version of it where the guys were standing still, staring at each other and the magazine falling out of the weapon and the spray of automatic fire.
When the elevator doors finally closed all but one of the PCs were dead and the one alive was bleeding to death.
Then we laughed about it and rewound the tape to before the PCs entered the elevator.
My first group was very much a group of beginners, and we weren't always exactly competent when it came to good roleplaying. Our party consisted of 4 characters: A hunter with low charisma and intelligence, but plenty of crazy ideas; a sarcastic and spiteful witcher whose actions rarely made sense; a wizard who was also a nobleman but always forgot to act like it; and my character, a dwarven warrior with very little personality. And then there was also our GM, who wasn't terrible at his job, but he could be a bit of a jerk.
So one time, while we were doing some sort of quest in a town, our hunter decided to go completely off the rails and try to pick some random people's pockets. Of course, he failed, and the intended victim of his theft noticed what he was doing. Still struggling to grasp the differences between a video game and a pen&paper RPG, the player decided the obvious way to get out of this situation was to attempt to backflip over the victim's head and then run away. Of course, this also failed spectacularly, and he landed flat on his back. When a guardsman was called over to arrest the hunter, he decided to try and do the exact same thing again and backflip over this guy this time. With the exact same result. So our hunter ended up in prison, in danger of having his hand chopped off for attempted theft.
When the rest of the party heard this news, we went over to the guardhouse to get a better idea of the situation. Standing outside just a few dozen steps away from the guardhouse, we see the place was swarming with guards. The wizard and me started discussing how we might be able to convince them to let our hunter go, when suddenly the witcher spoke up: He suggested we could try to take the guardhouse by force. While standing within earshot of a place with a bunch of guards around it, mind you.
Regardless of whether this was meant as a joke or not - we could never tell with him - our wizard wasn't a big fan of both this suggestion and the way the witcher delivered it. So he told the GM he was going to annoyedly bonk the witcher over the head with his staff.
For some reason, the GM had him make an attack roll for this.
Result: A critical hit.
The GM told the wizard to roll damage.
Result: Maximum damage.
With what was intended as a light poke, the wizard utterly smashed the witcher's face to pieces, reducing him to less than one third of his maximum health with one hit. Teeth and blood fly everywhere. While we were still standing in front of the guardhouse.
After recovering from my shock and surprise, I managed to make matters even worse by trying to hide the witcher in an alleyway so we could try to heal him without guards seeing him and jumping to the wrong conclusions. Of course, there was no way they weren't going to see the armoured dwarf dragging a bloodied unconscious human into a dark alley. I honestly don't even know how we got out of that situation again, but it was probably much less spectacularly crazy than the way we got into it.
Of course, this is a particularly negative example of stuff that can happen in these kinds of games, and it was neither our nor the GM's finest hour. We had good times playing together, too, don't get me wrong. But this story is one of the ones that I'll never forget.
So one time, while we were doing some sort of quest in a town, our hunter decided to go completely off the rails and try to pick some random people's pockets. Of course, he failed, and the intended victim of his theft noticed what he was doing. Still struggling to grasp the differences between a video game and a pen&paper RPG, the player decided the obvious way to get out of this situation was to attempt to backflip over the victim's head and then run away. Of course, this also failed spectacularly, and he landed flat on his back. When a guardsman was called over to arrest the hunter, he decided to try and do the exact same thing again and backflip over this guy this time. With the exact same result. So our hunter ended up in prison, in danger of having his hand chopped off for attempted theft.
When the rest of the party heard this news, we went over to the guardhouse to get a better idea of the situation. Standing outside just a few dozen steps away from the guardhouse, we see the place was swarming with guards. The wizard and me started discussing how we might be able to convince them to let our hunter go, when suddenly the witcher spoke up: He suggested we could try to take the guardhouse by force. While standing within earshot of a place with a bunch of guards around it, mind you.
Regardless of whether this was meant as a joke or not - we could never tell with him - our wizard wasn't a big fan of both this suggestion and the way the witcher delivered it. So he told the GM he was going to annoyedly bonk the witcher over the head with his staff.
For some reason, the GM had him make an attack roll for this.
Result: A critical hit.
The GM told the wizard to roll damage.
Result: Maximum damage.
With what was intended as a light poke, the wizard utterly smashed the witcher's face to pieces, reducing him to less than one third of his maximum health with one hit. Teeth and blood fly everywhere. While we were still standing in front of the guardhouse.
After recovering from my shock and surprise, I managed to make matters even worse by trying to hide the witcher in an alleyway so we could try to heal him without guards seeing him and jumping to the wrong conclusions. Of course, there was no way they weren't going to see the armoured dwarf dragging a bloodied unconscious human into a dark alley. I honestly don't even know how we got out of that situation again, but it was probably much less spectacularly crazy than the way we got into it.
Of course, this is a particularly negative example of stuff that can happen in these kinds of games, and it was neither our nor the GM's finest hour. We had good times playing together, too, don't get me wrong. But this story is one of the ones that I'll never forget.
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