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CloseMax: I figured as much considering all the talks we had in the past about that. However I am trying to function stand-alone and it has veen fine, at least not as bad as it was in other situations.
Andyes, albino, my grandpa was black actually and I got a lot of native/brazilian indian blood in me too :D Now I can´t complain about that since some girls actually praised my looks for my hair and eyes mainly, but as a child and teen it was hell and sometimes I still get a ramdom asshole in the street still screams some insults but I don´t give a damn about ramdom strangers :P
Harmo:I prefer Demi from Phantasy Star IV: more on the petit side and less naked XD I should draw a Demi ver Clest :P
Andyes, albino, my grandpa was black actually and I got a lot of native/brazilian indian blood in me too :D Now I can´t complain about that since some girls actually praised my looks for my hair and eyes mainly, but as a child and teen it was hell and sometimes I still get a ramdom asshole in the street still screams some insults but I don´t give a damn about ramdom strangers :P
Harmo:I prefer Demi from Phantasy Star IV: more on the petit side and less naked XD I should draw a Demi ver Clest :P
Orig
44
Clest: lol, Demi from Phantasy Star IV was adorable!
I remember very vividly McGee had quite the crush on a certain big-chested female bar owner from a certain Final Fantasy 7.
And you're so right about the topic title. XD
...
Okay, poking jokes aside, I'm fifteen and have never had a real relationship. Lesse, I've asked out three girls. They all said "Yes," then instant messaged me the next day saying "Sorry, but no." So with that in mind I have to admit I'm much on the same page as TMT. While I'm not COMPLETELY socially inept, the words "girl" and "friend" have never been put together and associated with me. And that's fine. I've seen the relationships 13, 14, 15-year-olds carry out and they're complete bullshit. The entire relationship is based around school. Or something. I dunno, there's no way to explain it. Let me give you an example: one of my "kind of friends, but we aren't really" friends dated this one girl for about a year. And a few weeks ago they broke up. Yet, they still walk holding hands, they still kiss, and they even still sleep together (this isn't a rumor, they do this like crazy and at one point I even asked both of them if it was true and they confirmed it).
One of my buddies in particular, perhaps the best buddy of them all, I'm in a particularly deep relationship with. Not romantic or anything, per se. Just deep. Philosophical if you will. We usually play videogames, get tired, turn off the lights, lay ourselves down on different couches, close our eyes, and just admit stuff. It's strangely comforting to know that someone knows so much about you, and having complete trust in them. He's been madly in love with a certain girl for a while now. Let me say here that this certain girl is absolutely insane. Promiscuous and drugged out and, needless to say, strangely beautiful. She loves him one day and hates him to death the next. While my friend has probably got the best sense of humor out of anyone I know, he's pretty hopeless in love. Which is why I think we work so well as friends, since we're both all in all hopeless. (In a fragile smile sort of way, not like gray-shirted, black eye-liner, crying blood emo sort of way.) But I dunno. There's this thing I've been thinking about a lot. If we ultimately end up hating the person we love, could we end up loving the person we hate?
I've always loved weird romance, like Amelie (from the movie Amelie) and the man who works in the adult store or twenty-year-old Harold and seventy-eight-year-old Maude from Harold and Maude or the two characters from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind who are (possibly) trapped in an endless cycle of breaking-up, forgetting each other, and ironically getting together again. So with this in mind I've basically told myself to never be in a normal relationship.
And yet my relationships with girls are only quick conversations of "Can I borrow your Geometry book?" or "Did we have any Chemistry homework?" or just fast recollections of interesting things we did the night or day before. I guess this is derived from the fact that a girl will and can never make me happy. In fact, no one else can make me happy. Of course, they can help. But that's all. And I've even convinced myself that no girl is ever going to make me as happy as a certain someone.
I'm overly philosophical and overly affection by nature. And I guess that makes it irritating to listen to the ignorant and arrogant remarks of my peers. (For example, half of my Chemistry class hasn't heard of Psycho.) So when someone who doesn't bug me comes along, they find themselves at a divide in the path. One way leads to friendship, one way leads beyond. So far, from the three or four people that have have walked the former path. But about a year or so ago a kind of, sort of friend of mine found himself there and took the former. So for a while now I've kept in this secret crush of mine (for I'm not so bold as to call it love over the internet). Only a few weeks ago did I tell my good buddies, and they're mostly alright with it. One just shrugged and said "Whatever floats your boat," another made a lewd gesture with his hands and laughed about it, and the last (my best friend who I mentioned earlier) talked about it with me for hours.
If there's one thing I hate it's being pigeon-holed into a group. So, no, I will not consider myself bi- or homosexual, because it goes beyond that sort of thing. I don't like anyone else, and I've programmed myself to never like anyone else. Not even sexual attraction. But I'm scared, scared past all else. Not of what anyone else thinks, no, I could care less about what anyone else things, but what he thinks. If this is a lost cause, if he could never in a million years like (Again, no so bold as to call it love. Love has to be mutual to be called love.) me the way I like him, then I'll be more lost than ever before. Maybe I'm being melodramatic, but I really can't see myself romantically involved with anyone else.
Well, for the time being, I sit, write, play videogames, listen to music, read books, and wait patiently till the opportunity presents itself.
(By the way, was anyone actually surprised by this?)
I remember very vividly McGee had quite the crush on a certain big-chested female bar owner from a certain Final Fantasy 7.
And you're so right about the topic title. XD
...
Okay, poking jokes aside, I'm fifteen and have never had a real relationship. Lesse, I've asked out three girls. They all said "Yes," then instant messaged me the next day saying "Sorry, but no." So with that in mind I have to admit I'm much on the same page as TMT. While I'm not COMPLETELY socially inept, the words "girl" and "friend" have never been put together and associated with me. And that's fine. I've seen the relationships 13, 14, 15-year-olds carry out and they're complete bullshit. The entire relationship is based around school. Or something. I dunno, there's no way to explain it. Let me give you an example: one of my "kind of friends, but we aren't really" friends dated this one girl for about a year. And a few weeks ago they broke up. Yet, they still walk holding hands, they still kiss, and they even still sleep together (this isn't a rumor, they do this like crazy and at one point I even asked both of them if it was true and they confirmed it).
One of my buddies in particular, perhaps the best buddy of them all, I'm in a particularly deep relationship with. Not romantic or anything, per se. Just deep. Philosophical if you will. We usually play videogames, get tired, turn off the lights, lay ourselves down on different couches, close our eyes, and just admit stuff. It's strangely comforting to know that someone knows so much about you, and having complete trust in them. He's been madly in love with a certain girl for a while now. Let me say here that this certain girl is absolutely insane. Promiscuous and drugged out and, needless to say, strangely beautiful. She loves him one day and hates him to death the next. While my friend has probably got the best sense of humor out of anyone I know, he's pretty hopeless in love. Which is why I think we work so well as friends, since we're both all in all hopeless. (In a fragile smile sort of way, not like gray-shirted, black eye-liner, crying blood emo sort of way.) But I dunno. There's this thing I've been thinking about a lot. If we ultimately end up hating the person we love, could we end up loving the person we hate?
I've always loved weird romance, like Amelie (from the movie Amelie) and the man who works in the adult store or twenty-year-old Harold and seventy-eight-year-old Maude from Harold and Maude or the two characters from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind who are (possibly) trapped in an endless cycle of breaking-up, forgetting each other, and ironically getting together again. So with this in mind I've basically told myself to never be in a normal relationship.
And yet my relationships with girls are only quick conversations of "Can I borrow your Geometry book?" or "Did we have any Chemistry homework?" or just fast recollections of interesting things we did the night or day before. I guess this is derived from the fact that a girl will and can never make me happy. In fact, no one else can make me happy. Of course, they can help. But that's all. And I've even convinced myself that no girl is ever going to make me as happy as a certain someone.
I'm overly philosophical and overly affection by nature. And I guess that makes it irritating to listen to the ignorant and arrogant remarks of my peers. (For example, half of my Chemistry class hasn't heard of Psycho.) So when someone who doesn't bug me comes along, they find themselves at a divide in the path. One way leads to friendship, one way leads beyond. So far, from the three or four people that have have walked the former path. But about a year or so ago a kind of, sort of friend of mine found himself there and took the former. So for a while now I've kept in this secret crush of mine (for I'm not so bold as to call it love over the internet). Only a few weeks ago did I tell my good buddies, and they're mostly alright with it. One just shrugged and said "Whatever floats your boat," another made a lewd gesture with his hands and laughed about it, and the last (my best friend who I mentioned earlier) talked about it with me for hours.
If there's one thing I hate it's being pigeon-holed into a group. So, no, I will not consider myself bi- or homosexual, because it goes beyond that sort of thing. I don't like anyone else, and I've programmed myself to never like anyone else. Not even sexual attraction. But I'm scared, scared past all else. Not of what anyone else thinks, no, I could care less about what anyone else things, but what he thinks. If this is a lost cause, if he could never in a million years like (Again, no so bold as to call it love. Love has to be mutual to be called love.) me the way I like him, then I'll be more lost than ever before. Maybe I'm being melodramatic, but I really can't see myself romantically involved with anyone else.
Well, for the time being, I sit, write, play videogames, listen to music, read books, and wait patiently till the opportunity presents itself.
(By the way, was anyone actually surprised by this?)
Ah, young love. Always believing that the current tier is the highest one can find... until the next. ^.^ Still, it's nice that you can be comfortable around the person you like the most.
_________________
In other news, something surprising happened today.
I had a close friend in high school (male - well I had a few, really, but he and I were pretty close) that I used to hang around with all the time. We'd share jokes, music, playful punches from time to time. I'd had a crush on him for 2 years during HS (Year 10-12), but never told him cause I was too shy/didn't want to ruin the friendship/didn't want my cousin to know (if you knew her you'd understand).
So, I ran into him today - hadn't seen him for about 5 years now - and we got to talking. Seems he's now engaged to his current girlfriend and I offered congratulations, as you do, when I thought I'd come clean and tell him about the crush I used to have on him.
That's when he decided to tell me about the crush he'd had on me since we became friends, up until just before the end of year 12. x.X Damn. We shared a laugh, talked a bit more then I had to leave (I'll probably see him in another couple of years).
It got me thinking about how you miss out on things by not speaking up at the right time - Right time being that time that current things are well, current. How many opportunities have I missed? Quite a few now that I think about it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is 'Don't be afraid to put yourself out there because you never know. You may have more of a chance than you think you do.'
_________________
In other news, something surprising happened today.
I had a close friend in high school (male - well I had a few, really, but he and I were pretty close) that I used to hang around with all the time. We'd share jokes, music, playful punches from time to time. I'd had a crush on him for 2 years during HS (Year 10-12), but never told him cause I was too shy/didn't want to ruin the friendship/didn't want my cousin to know (if you knew her you'd understand).
So, I ran into him today - hadn't seen him for about 5 years now - and we got to talking. Seems he's now engaged to his current girlfriend and I offered congratulations, as you do, when I thought I'd come clean and tell him about the crush I used to have on him.
That's when he decided to tell me about the crush he'd had on me since we became friends, up until just before the end of year 12. x.X Damn. We shared a laugh, talked a bit more then I had to leave (I'll probably see him in another couple of years).
It got me thinking about how you miss out on things by not speaking up at the right time - Right time being that time that current things are well, current. How many opportunities have I missed? Quite a few now that I think about it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is 'Don't be afraid to put yourself out there because you never know. You may have more of a chance than you think you do.'
Orig
44
author=Liberty link=topic=2473.msg46147#msg46147 date=1227233793
Ah, young love. Always believing that the current tier is the highest one can find... until the next.
Wouldn't be the first time I heard that. >_> Still, for the time being I'm content being perfectly naive.
author=Liberty link=topic=2473.msg46147#msg46147 date=1227233793
Ah, young love. Always believing that the current tier is the highest one can find... until the next.
There's two sides to this. : ) I totally agree that it's silly sometimes to think that you're with the person you're with forever at 15 (I was guilty of this myself). However, something that Clest brought up and I think it's true: in many cases, the person you're with at a certain stage of your life is the best person for you at that time.
Even horrible abusive relationships can sometimes allow people to grow from them, and healthy relationships, though they may end, teach you something about yourself and resonate with you even when they pass. So even young love relationships are valid in their own ways : D
Also, that's a great story... I'm sorry though that things passed you both by, but it's such good wisdom and I'm glad you shared it here with us.
Euphorian
80
So, suddenly, I have a boyfriend, I guess.
I did not know I was into that, buuut... o.o
Clest
0
Whoah, lots of sudden events happening here :P
Orig: Just as me, you think too much, how good or bad that is I have no idea, maybe it is good AND bad, who knows?
Liberty: I know a lot how it is, also that is funny, because it reminded me of a very short past relationship where the girl I was with broke up with me because I was too dependant and she was too focused in studying, given my dependance I soon ended bumping into someone else and she stopped mailing/replying me after that. The funny part is that my last relationship ended in great part because I was too focused in other things, which makes me wonder if we were on the same mindset back then, if things wouldn´t have worked.
But since it is in the past I couldn´t bring myself to contact her even to say that I understand her now in fear of bothering her, plus I don´t think it would be productive either. Still it gets in my mind from time to time.
April: yep, that concept of living things as they come made me try a lot of crazy things for relationships, from facing crazy girlfriends fathers who threatened to kil me t an almost 2 years long internet only relationship with someone living in another continent, to be with someone without compromise... in a way, no matter how hurt I was in several occasions, it is still a bunch of valid experiences.
Euphorian: Congratulations on that, hope things go really well for you =^.^=
Orig: Just as me, you think too much, how good or bad that is I have no idea, maybe it is good AND bad, who knows?
Liberty: I know a lot how it is, also that is funny, because it reminded me of a very short past relationship where the girl I was with broke up with me because I was too dependant and she was too focused in studying, given my dependance I soon ended bumping into someone else and she stopped mailing/replying me after that. The funny part is that my last relationship ended in great part because I was too focused in other things, which makes me wonder if we were on the same mindset back then, if things wouldn´t have worked.
But since it is in the past I couldn´t bring myself to contact her even to say that I understand her now in fear of bothering her, plus I don´t think it would be productive either. Still it gets in my mind from time to time.
April: yep, that concept of living things as they come made me try a lot of crazy things for relationships, from facing crazy girlfriends fathers who threatened to kil me t an almost 2 years long internet only relationship with someone living in another continent, to be with someone without compromise... in a way, no matter how hurt I was in several occasions, it is still a bunch of valid experiences.
Euphorian: Congratulations on that, hope things go really well for you =^.^=
suzuricho
283
author=aprilschild link=topic=2473.msg46154#msg46154 date=1227236339author=Liberty link=topic=2473.msg46147#msg46147 date=1227233793
Ah, young love. Always believing that the current tier is the highest one can find... until the next.
There's two sides to this. : ) I totally agree that it's silly sometimes to think that you're with the person you're with forever at 15 (I was guilty of this myself). However, something that Clest brought up and I think it's true: in many cases, the person you're with at a certain stage of your life is the best person for you at that time.
I agree wholeheartedly there. My previous boyfriend and I had some great times together, and I had a lot of fun being around him. He generally made me happy, and even though it hurt like hell when he dumped me (he did it through the internet, he didn't drive over or call or anything... that still annoys me to this day), I grew a lot as a result. I would not be the same person I am now if I wouldn't have gone through that heartbreaking experience. Would I have said that a few years ago? No. And I still reflect back on those days with a smile because I know now that at the time it held me afloat when my family was going through a very tough time. It would be a lie to say that I didn't miss his company, as he and I were close friends before we dated, and it felt more like best friends just having sex near the end of it than an actual loving couple. *shrug* But I hoped it would turn into real love. Guess not. I loved him, but after reading his online blog, I learned that he didn't love me. But that is all in the past!
I believe that relationship helped me then and made me a bit more careful about just people in general.
Wow. I haven't talked so much about that for a long time now. *blush* Guess I do feel comfortable telling you guys about my "dark" past, though this is hardly the darkest thing I've gone through.
A lot of people have been curious about my history with women, so considering it's like 5 AM and I can't sleep, here we go;
I think I've always been considered a pretty good looking guy, but considering I was chronically shy up until middle school, it didn't really do be any good. Sure, girls liked me and all, but if you're too shy to actually go forward and do anything about it, what difference does it make? Well, it was this way for a long while, up until about 7th or 8th grade, where I finally started to stop being shy, and I actually went and put myself out there to everyone, girls included. After this, I had a lot better luck flirting with girls and whatnot.
Come 8th grade I managed to get with a girl that would end up being one of the most influential girls I would get to know. Basically, there was this girl who just moved here from California, because her dad was in the Marines and well, this was their last stop. Her dad was like, half Italian and half black, and her mother was from the Philippines, so she was very attractive, and not only that, she was very, very intelligent as well and interestingly enough, was really into video games and RPGs, so we hit it off almost instantly. I honestly don't remember how we started dating, but we did for a few months, and it was pretty nice. We complemented each other pretty well.
Eventually, we broke up, relatively mutually but it was on her end because she wanted to see other people and whatnot. Looking back, I don't really blame her because we were like, in 8th grade. I mean come on. But back then I was really taken aback and spent a lot of time trying to win her back, and after that didn't work (from like, the end of 8th grade through 9th) we pretty much just made each others lives miserable. I remember her saying she hated me with the fury of a thousand suns. Verbatim.
Anywho, my family bought a house and moved out of our old but, during the time it took to get the new house ready, we had to move to an apartment outside the neighborhood, so I had to go to a different school from 10th grade to by the time I graduated, so I didn't see her for a while (but I still knew and talked to EVERYONE else from my former school since I knew everyone). I think it was in the summer of 11th grade I called her out of the blue and was like 'Sup'? To my surprise she was ECSTATIC to talk to me and before I knew it we were dating again. We dated all though 11th and 12th grade, went to prom and everything, and it was cool because even though we went to different schools, I knew everyone in her school anyway having grew up there. That was a pretty crazy relationship with lots of drama because she was crazy.
Okay to fast forward a bit after a relatively long relationship filled with drama because her dad hated me, her being crazy, lots of sex, and stuff, we broke up over the summer because we were going to different colleges and stuff. Funnily enough, second month of college she calls me back and we start dating again but that lasted like 2 months or something because long distance relationships blow.
She apparently can't bear the thought of conversation with me anymore so I haven't talked to her in a few months (we're both juniors) and as far as I know she's screwing some 30 year old or something. We both live in the same hometown so I have to laugh if we see each other because she always hides from me for some reason I don't know.
Currently, I'm dating women and checking out the scene myself. Sometimes I strike out, sometimes I don't. It's not a bad life, but I do have one friend I'd seriously consider dating, but we'll see how that turns out.
I think I've always been considered a pretty good looking guy, but considering I was chronically shy up until middle school, it didn't really do be any good. Sure, girls liked me and all, but if you're too shy to actually go forward and do anything about it, what difference does it make? Well, it was this way for a long while, up until about 7th or 8th grade, where I finally started to stop being shy, and I actually went and put myself out there to everyone, girls included. After this, I had a lot better luck flirting with girls and whatnot.
Come 8th grade I managed to get with a girl that would end up being one of the most influential girls I would get to know. Basically, there was this girl who just moved here from California, because her dad was in the Marines and well, this was their last stop. Her dad was like, half Italian and half black, and her mother was from the Philippines, so she was very attractive, and not only that, she was very, very intelligent as well and interestingly enough, was really into video games and RPGs, so we hit it off almost instantly. I honestly don't remember how we started dating, but we did for a few months, and it was pretty nice. We complemented each other pretty well.
Eventually, we broke up, relatively mutually but it was on her end because she wanted to see other people and whatnot. Looking back, I don't really blame her because we were like, in 8th grade. I mean come on. But back then I was really taken aback and spent a lot of time trying to win her back, and after that didn't work (from like, the end of 8th grade through 9th) we pretty much just made each others lives miserable. I remember her saying she hated me with the fury of a thousand suns. Verbatim.
Anywho, my family bought a house and moved out of our old but, during the time it took to get the new house ready, we had to move to an apartment outside the neighborhood, so I had to go to a different school from 10th grade to by the time I graduated, so I didn't see her for a while (but I still knew and talked to EVERYONE else from my former school since I knew everyone). I think it was in the summer of 11th grade I called her out of the blue and was like 'Sup'? To my surprise she was ECSTATIC to talk to me and before I knew it we were dating again. We dated all though 11th and 12th grade, went to prom and everything, and it was cool because even though we went to different schools, I knew everyone in her school anyway having grew up there. That was a pretty crazy relationship with lots of drama because she was crazy.
Okay to fast forward a bit after a relatively long relationship filled with drama because her dad hated me, her being crazy, lots of sex, and stuff, we broke up over the summer because we were going to different colleges and stuff. Funnily enough, second month of college she calls me back and we start dating again but that lasted like 2 months or something because long distance relationships blow.
She apparently can't bear the thought of conversation with me anymore so I haven't talked to her in a few months (we're both juniors) and as far as I know she's screwing some 30 year old or something. We both live in the same hometown so I have to laugh if we see each other because she always hides from me for some reason I don't know.
Currently, I'm dating women and checking out the scene myself. Sometimes I strike out, sometimes I don't. It's not a bad life, but I do have one friend I'd seriously consider dating, but we'll see how that turns out.
Clest
0
A looog coil-like relationship Mog, but I think it gave you enough good momments huh?
And good luck with your friend buddy, I think those are the best things which can happen, relationships starting from friendship.
I howeber, have no one I would consider dating right now, all my interesting female friends over here are already good girlfriends to their boyfriends and I am not up to search for someone proptly either :P
And good luck with your friend buddy, I think those are the best things which can happen, relationships starting from friendship.
I howeber, have no one I would consider dating right now, all my interesting female friends over here are already good girlfriends to their boyfriends and I am not up to search for someone proptly either :P
demondestiny
889
My girlfriend that i'm dating now used to be a very good friend of mine back when i was in grade two. We even graduated high school together before i wound up the courage to ask her out on a date. Now i am in a very serious relationship with her and yes, i would say marriage is definitely on my mind.
VerifyedRasta
581
author=demondestiny link=topic=2473.msg46221#msg46221 date=1227273445
My girlfriend that i'm dating now used to be a very good friend of mine back when i was in grade two. We even graduated high school together before i wound up the courage to ask her out on a date. Now i am in a very serious relationship with her and yes, i would say marriage is definitely on my mind.
Phew that means I still have a chance with this girl then :)
I've known her since like grade 4 or so and we graduated middle school and high school together and now we are in college together, but I was always too shy to ask her out.
demondestiny
889
I was shy as well. Asking a girl out can be one of the hardest things to do for some people. For others it can be easy.
maladroithim
1495
I have been seeing a girl for about half of a year.
I might ask her to marry me.
In like . . . . five years.
...........
I like her a lot guys.
I might ask her to marry me.
In like . . . . five years.
...........
I like her a lot guys.
maladroithim
1495
author=ChaosProductions link=topic=2473.msg46508#msg46508 date=1227462589
I thought you were...?
Hahahahah
Yeah I am sorry to let you down :(
author=ChaosProductions link=topic=2473.msg45953#msg45953 date=1227151795author=ChaosProductions link=topic=2473.msg44696#msg44696 date=1226894361
Same girl. New dilemma.
There seems to be developments brewing... I'll post more when I'm certain. However, I'm hoping there are, and here's hoping they fall into alignment in the proper fashion.
This is ruining my four-day-break. I can't even concentrate on 2k3. I don't think I've had an hour lately without thoughts of... someone.
demondestiny
889
This girl your talking about. Have you tried asking her out? Or is she already in a relationship?
