WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Here's a little story I made up a week or two ago and put it on Facebook. I'd been planning to post it here for some time, but i kept forgetting (dam u valve!). Anyways...

It had been a tough year up on the farm, waking up all the hens and other animals.

The chicken decided to take a vacation.

It was a hard choice, he had many places in mind. Japan, England, Imaginarystan. Eventually he decided on Russia.

As his plane landed in Moscow, he got his hotel room and took a short nap. He wanted to be energized for his sightseeing tour. At about 3 PM, chicken woke up, showered, brushed his beak and got ready for the hotel's official tour of the city.

Chicken met up with the tour group. There were about 20 people. A big group indeed. Chicken felt overwhelmed by the size of the tour group. They stared at chicken like he was some sort of outcast. This made chicken uneasy and a tad nauseous.

Chicken ran towards the bathroom to throw up. When he got back to the foyer, the group was gone! He decided to meet them at the first scheduled stop, about 3 blocks from the hotel.

Walking through Moscow, chicken was amazed at how beautiful the city was but at the same time he felt scared and uneasy at the looks the locals were giving him. They whispered, pointed, laughed and made faces of disgust towards chicken. Because he was different. Because he wasn't one of them.

Chicken rushed now. He feared that some people might attack him because he was different. He walked at a brisk pace, hoping that they'd just ignore him.

Chicken was focusing so much on how he was being watched, that he wasn't paying attention to where he was going and ended up lost in Moscow's red light district.

Chicken was scared now, big men and scantily clad women were walking all over the place. But chicken's fear soon turned to relief, as nobody was paying attention to him! That is except for one voice he heard from behind him.

"You lookin' for a good time, handsome?" They said. It was a voice that sounded like an angel's, to chicken at least.

Chicken turned around only to see a beautiful Russian woman. Long, shapely legs and curves that would make any man go wild made chicken fall in love immediately.

The woman and chicken spent the night together at chicken's hotel room. It was after they slept together that chicken offered her dinner. Usually, the woman would never go on a date with her clients, but she felt something different from chicken. A feeling she had never felt before.

"Is this love?" She asked. "I never want this feeling to go away. Never..."

They went to the hotel's restaurant and ate a gourmet meal. Chicken had a bowl of gourmet grains, and the woman ate a grilled chicken platter and hid it behind her menu so chicken wouldn't get offended.

During the dinner, the woman gave chicken her name - Natascha - and told him that she had never had a better night in her life. She had never given her name to a client before.

Part way through their meal, a group of men in suits and garbage bags filled with something burst in to the restaurant. The costumers were sent into a frenzy from the abruptness of their entrance. They ran up to chicken and Natascha's table and started to beat them both unconsious with their garbage bags.

Chicken woke up in a daze. Everything was blurry. All he could make out was Natascha's fiery red hair, and three men. He could hear one of the men shouting and he could hear Natascha's name being used frequently.

Then there were two loud noises. One sounded like a gun shot and the other like a "thump". That snapped chicken out of his daze and the first thing he saw, a smoking gun and Natascha's corpse.

Chicken's eyes widened. How could they kill his love? WHY would they kill his love? Chicken got up and stared into the eyes of the man who shot the only one in Russia who looked at him with something other than disgust. A blank, cold, uncaring stare the man had.

"She was a disgrace to the family." The man said. "She had to go."

Chicken didn't understand.

"She was a whore!" He exclaimed. "We can't have a whore as the daughter of the head of the Russian Mafia!"

Chicken's body tensed up. His blood went cold. His legs couldn't move.

Chicken rushed at the man. The other two men blocked chicken and knocked him down.

"If you were smart, kid, you'd get out of Moscow before the night is over." The first bodyguard told him.

With his pride crushed and heart broken, chicken exited the building. Many things went through his head. He had two choices. Leave Russia and look for someone else, or avenge his one true love.

He asked around the black market for an arms dealer. Many believed he was a cop but through ways i won't go into detail about, he convinced them he was legit. They brought him to the arm dealer, Nikolai.

"New costumer... Not sure if I want any. Go away kid," Nikolai stated. "Your kind not wanted here"

Chicken didn't budge. He stared into Nikolai's eyes.

"Hm... Know what. I will sell you something. You have good spirit." Nikolai said. "I sense good things from you."

Nikolai opened up his closet and pulled out two guns and a knife.

"Yes, this should work for you. AK-47, and Baretta." He explained. "Very easy to use, very effective. Knife is free."

Chicken grabbed the weapons and stuffed them in his bag. As he walked away, he turned his head and nodded with respect and thanks.

"Go, young chicken." Nickolai shouted. "Go and do great things!"

Chicken walked over to the door of Natascha's father. He closed his eyes and grasped his gun. A tear fell from his eye. It was time.

Chicken opened the door only to see nobody was inside. Confused at the lack of bodyguards, chicken looked around with his gun in hand.

He slowly walked up the stairs, trying not to make noise. He slowly opened up the door to Natashca's father's room.

"You know, I expected you to come."

Chicken's body tensed. He was behind chicken.

"You enter my house in an attempt to kill me." He says. " I should shoot you right now."

Chicken got scared, his eyes started to tear up.

"But," He added "You're doing this for love. A worthy cause. For this, I'll give you a fair fight..."

Chicken turned around. They locked eyes and nodded.

"Don't make me regret this choice."

Chicken started shooting, and Natascha's father took cover. Chicken jumped behind a desk for cover as well.

They fired at each other for long periods, moving about the room and between cover until Natascha's father was hit in the leg, causing him to fall. Chicken approached him and put his gun against his head.

"Go! Do it!" He exclaimed. "Kill me!"

Chicken didn't hesitate. He pulled the trigger and was on his way. He had a flight to catch.

Chicken stared at his home across the street with a look of relief. It was over, he had allowed Natascha to rest in peace. He crossed the street with a photo of his true love in his hand.

It was over. Chicken had found peace.