CHEERING UP A FRIEND WHO IS REALLY DOWN.

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YDS
member of the bull moose party
2516
I know this is going to be a bit vague. I am not sure what to specify - but if you have a friend that has been down for awhile, what is the best thing you can do for them? Like, they say that remaining friends cheering them up doesn't do their situation any good. Also, you have already given them space for awhile (half a month+) yet the situation isn't any better.

Should you just continue keeping a distance? Or what?

This is far too complex of a question to be answered by a forum, and will of course vary from person to person.
YDS
member of the bull moose party
2516
I don't know. I feel a bit desperate for advice. Even if it is a stab in the dark.
Do you know what's wrong with them?
This IS really vague and general, and it'll help if you gave us more information, if you're comfortable.

As for vague, general advice, spending time with said friend, having fun is a good way to help a mood. Every two friends has their own 'pick me up' way to chill out, whether it's playing video games, seeing a movie, getting drunk, whatever. Just give them your time.
YDS
member of the bull moose party
2516
Mog/BBDB: A lot of stuff. Financial struggles, a pretty awful relationship (where my personal interpretation is the other person kind of used my friend) that just ended, a few friendships that failed.

Blitzen: not a lez
It sounds pretty rough, i'm sorry your friends going through such a crappy time.
The best you can do is let them know that you're there, and won't give up on them(like their other friends might have done). Remind them every now and then that you care by doing something, it could be something very small. Make an effort to stay in touch.

Mog's right, give them your time.
I hope it works out. :)
Do something with them that they used to really like to do. Don't let them say no.
post=91343
Mog/BBDB: A lot of stuff. Financial struggles, a pretty awful relationship (where my personal interpretation is the other person kind of used my friend) that just ended, a few friendships that failed.


Yeah, the best thing you can do with your friend is spend time with them, be there them, and be available. Nothing is worse than feeling like shit and your friend is being all distant and weird. Have an open arms attitude towards said friend; they'll feel better.
YDS
member of the bull moose party
2516
Yeah. I try to. It is hard sometimes because my friend responds really short and curtly - and also can be really distant and cold. Sometimes it kind of hurts my feelings, even if I know my friend is going through hard times. It also makes me confused if I should continue acting bouncy and friendly, or if I should stand back. I tried both, the latter for longer. I guess I should try the former again.
Well, keep in mind that going through hard times doesn't entitle someone to be a dick. As her friend, you ARE entitled to straight up ask her what the hell is going on. If you feel she's kind of dicking you around, call her out on it.
YDS
member of the bull moose party
2516
I have, which was why I found out about what I said earlier. Before today, I thought she was just mad at me for some reason or the other.
kitten2021
Returning from RMVX Death
1093
YDS, I will be frank with you... I have had a friend act like this as well before. Her's was for a rather serious issue (probably just as serious as your friends, no doubt. :). But, the point is, I at first believed her to be annoyed with me and tired of me being her friend, so I called her out on it. She explained what was happening... Even though she wouldn't admit it, I could tell the problems she was having in life was scarring her, and it made me feel like there was nothing I could do.

Only thing I can do is tell you to stay with her, don't try to act all different about the situation just to 'try' and cheer her up; you and her both know already that she's pissed off and the situation in life sounds to be getting her slightly depressed. My best suggestion to you is to just be yourself for her and remind her that your always there no matter what it is that is happening and that at any point in time she can always come to you. She needs to understand that there will always be a shoulder for her to lean on or even cry on if needed.

Now, I am by no means a psychiatrist (Want to be one though), but I do know from my own experiences that truly all that is needed is a lot of time. Try suddenly showing up at her house with some fast-food in hand and tell her you were just thinking about her and thought you would treat her... or something like that. :)
I truly wish you and your friend the best of luck... :) <3
booze always works.

get a bottle of vodka and a preferred location. party all night.
Don't burden yourself trying to alleviate her issues; that's rarely a strategy that works in the long-term. Just make an effort to, like everyone said, spend time with her and let her mind drift from whatever problem has disheartened her so much. Sometimes people just need a distraction, or someone who will listen to them without judgment. I'm sure you could easily provide both.
post=91338
Sex 'em up.
Starscream
Conquest is made from the ashes of one's enemies.
6110
After reading Mog's latest Facebook update and the ensuing drama, I respectfully ask all of you to avoid relationship advice from him in the future.
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