Dragon Hunter

Dragon Hunters is a pretty much small and unnoticed game with a pretty shoddy description. The first thing you'd probably notice is the lack of originality, as basically this game uses few or no original resources, just RTP. With that, I can only be left to review the game's presentation, gameplay, and storyline. The presentation, however, is so bad, that this, much like my last review, cannot be well organized.

Alright then, without further adieu, I present to you: Dragon Hunter.



So opening up, the game immediately opens up to the generic title screen and the song "adventure" from the RTP.


Ignoring this, we move on, to see some characters standing in a--black out.
It then gives information on this game's author, contact, etc.
I have a BAD feeling about this. I also like how the developer's Everquest 2 and Runescape account names are given. Wonderful, now I just wish Sakurai would start doing that...


It then gives you a warning to save often because of this game's difficulty. Oh man, I have a BAD feeling about this.

Then, we are for some reason given the game's storyline.
"Many years ago, a young ninja by the name
of Cyrus traveled
to the many corners of the globe."
Uh....why?
"He was a wise man."
...
"He trained in the arts of the ninja. He learned
manytechniques and was a formidable foe.
His master Gyt had taught him all he knew.
But one day, Gyt was forced to travel to war."
Uh huh...why did he travel to the corners of the globe again?
"Then, Cyrus's village was attacked."
Why? By who? And for the love of God, why did he travel to the--fuck it. Let's just go with it.
"They were ruthless. They kidnapped the women
and children,and killed all the men. Cyrus
escaped, but his mother had been captured. With
no father to protect him, he wasn;t to fight."
They being who? And why did he...... ...Man.
"After the attack he returned to his village and l
ooked in horrorat the burned houses
and blood ponds. He took Gyt's old clothes,
and made a promise, that he would always protect a"
"And he traveled to far off lands, helping and
giving,Now he is 15.But soon, he got caught
in a war between the
Europeans andEgyptians..."

WORST. INTRO. EVER.
Come on, you provided NO explanation as for why these things happened, it's like an extended and slightly better written version
of the sonic and mario demo intro. What am I supposed to do? Fight egyptians? What...



Okay, so the intro closes out and I'm a ninja in the middle of the desert.
Immediately noticable is the atrocious mapping with awkward tiles placed out in the never ending desert tile.
Oh look there's a cool looking dude in the middle with me, let's go talk to him.
"Warriror
Quickly, to the end of this path. There is an exit"
What path? This is so badly mapped I can't even tell.
Well, considering there are no teleports in the sides or anything, I just take the only path I'm allowed and somehow loop around
this map.
Then I see the...same exact person.
"Sean
So glad you could make it. Come on, let's get out"
Okay I think I have the right to say this, at least now.

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

Am I supposed to be a 15 year old ninja in a war between Europeans and Egyptians?
In the desert I assume I'm fighting against the Egyptians, but there are none in sight, there's nothing to tell me what I'm
supposed to be doing besides escaping from the desert for some reason.

"Cyrus
So glad indeed..."


Okay why am I in a grassland now? How could you possibly test play this game and think that the player could possibly grasp what
was going on?

So after wandering about I meet Sean again who tells me Gyt is back.
From war? I assumed he was dead, seeing as how I'm wearing his clothes.

Alright let's go and now we're in a town with no direction as far as where I should go. There's a man standing in the middle, I
guess I ask him for directions. He tells you some old fart is at the inn, just brin'ing everyone, and wishing he knew him. This
old man must be one real pimp to have random people wishing they knew him.


Anyway I walk in and see a man who must be at least a thousand years old sitting ALONE at a
table. Brin'ing everyone my ass.

WAIT A SECOND--
THIS IS GYT? WHY was he sent to war? He must be at least 500 years old, who would rely on such an artifact to fight?
Anyway he rambles about how you've grown, when OH SNAP

THERE'S A MONSTER OUTSIDE, AND IT JUST ATTACKED A LITTLE GIRL
Gyt, being the powerful war engine he is, tells me to go out and do it for him, giving me his sword.
How this old man can lift a sword, I wonder.
Anyway I go out and see...



....
.......
Are you fucking kidding me?
There's a FUCKING CHICKEN out here with rather lighthearted music, standing in front of a little boy.


I immediately piss myself at the thought of having to fight this monstrosity, and I had to take a therapy break
before I could grow the balls to fight this terrifying phantom.

So after I kill this embodied Cthulhu, the little boy is still crying for help.
I talk to Tomoji Tanabe here, he says I did good, and OH DEAR GOD NO NOT ANOTHER BLACKOUT SCREEN SEQUENCE...
So the old man finally passes away, and a greedy king tells me to slay 10 dragons that have been terrorizing a village.
For some reason, I'm going to do that.
Shoot. Me. Now.

Okay, Honestly.
Do I have to say anything more about this game? The storyline makes no sense at all, the characters are poorly developed and have
no personality whatsoever, besides the little hermaphrodite marked for bearing phobia for animated poultry.
The graphics are unoriginal and require no mentioning.
I hold the fleeting thought that I might have heard an original piece of music somewhere which was good, but overall, the music
and sound get the same treatment as the graphics for the lack of originality.
The storyline. My sentiments are obvious, and before I possibly get this "BUT YOU DIDNT PLAY FAR ENOUGH" response, I might as well
say the entire storyline and its twist are given in the game's DESCRIPTION already. I don't NEED to play far to figure this out.




And there you have it: Dragon Hunter, the second contribution to my manic masochism.