KiraStar: The Polybius Problem

Hey folks! So I've been tinkering away at KiraStar, mainly working on sprites and database work. Whilst doing that, I've been thinking of the basic story that will be told throughout the course of the game.

The plot is fairly basic, and mainly serves as a backdrop to some fantastical and (hopefully) imaginative locations. I figured I'd post the basic idea, and get some feedback from you lovely people.

So, here we go.

"Dan and Jack, two best buddies, live in the city of Brownstone. One day, Jack gets an e-mail from their old friend, Dr. Parsons, a scientist who lives on the outskirts of the city. He's apparently made a discovery, and wants to share the news with them.

So, the pair set off through Brownstone Park, into the Pleasant Valley (which is actually quite dangerous), to go and see him.

Once they arrive, he tells them all about his research on the KiraStar, which fell from the sky many hundreds of years ago, and it's apparently located right beneath their feet!

He's been tunneling away beneath the valley, and has uncovered some mysterious ruins, which, if his research is correct, was built in honor of the object. It's a little too dangerous for him to go take a closer look, so he figured "Hey, why not ask some kids to do it?". They agree, and off they go.

After some scraps and scrapes, the heroic duo find the KiraStar, and bring it back to the good doctor. Eager to study it's properties, he pops it in one his fancy machines, and begins to collect data.

However, something goes very wrong. The KiraStar begins to react, and suddenly breaks out of the machine and through the roof of Dr. Parson's lab. They give chase, and find it floating ominously above the valley.

The sky turns black, and the KiraStar begins to crack. Suddenly, without warning, it shatters into five pieces, which scatter in different directions!

...and where the KiraStar once floated, there is a black shadow. The figure announces itself as Polybius, the bringer of nightmares, and it would appear that our heroes have freed him from his eternal prison! Oh no!

Now, Polybius will now spread his darkness across the land! It looks like it's up to Dan and Jack to find the pieces of the KiraStar, and seal Polybius within once more!"

It's a fairly cliche story, I know. Find pieces to an object and save the world. One of the more "interesting" ideas is how Polybius spreads his darkness, his nightmares. He inflicts it on people around Brownstone. An early example is the owner of the local rock club: "The Crypt". If you visit there early in the game, it's just that, a rock club. However, once Polybius gets his hands on the owner, the interior is changed to a huge graveyard, filled with crypts and tombs that the owner is trapped within. So, as well as finding the KiraStar out of town, they must help the citizens within the town as well.

That's just an example, and the story is in it's early stages. Hopefully it'll be pretty interesting, but more importantly, fun.

And all this talk of darkness won't mean that the game's suddenly going to be straight faced and serious. At the end of the day, it's going to be rather silly.

That's it for now. Any input/ideas/suggestions would be greatly appreciated, and if you can think of a funky idea for a nightmare, well, why not let me know?

Thanks for reading!
~Dan