Good, these were hilarious...
1 minute in: I am not French, and don't sound like a robot, I believe psycho-midget with a REALLY high voice is more me, also I am a complete madman so i'd probably just talk to myself about lemons, clouds, pink diamonds and so on...
Anyway...
1 minute, 7 seconds in: Jack-o-lantern
Say yo prayers yo sunnava gun...
Anyway, it pleasures me to see you take damage in my level...
I can remember the first time my brother played Castle Crash, he yelled partcularly loudly at what he took to calling "lava-penises"...