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Backtracking? Ain't no one got time fo' dat!
  • Liberty
  • Added: 02/11/2013 04:43 PM
  • Last updated: 04/26/2024 02:51 PM
  • 3407 views

Posts

Pages: 1
AMoonlessNight
284
04/29/2013 06:11 AM
I would rewrite this as, "I cannot—-nay, I will not—-go back." The "nay, I will not" is interrupting her original thought, which is "I cannot go back". Those double hyphens are supposed to be em-dashes, but I can't type them here.

Otherwise, looking good. Is this kind of Dark Cloud-inspired?
walldeaf
1043
04/29/2013 07:01 AM
That speech expresses het determination, that's my guess, but AMoonlessNight's option sound very good also.

I like your mapping-style btw, looks very good.

/wallie
Liberty
RTP Princess
24266
04/29/2013 10:40 AM
Eh, I may just separate the lines.
"I cannot-
Nay, I will not go back!"

Or just change it altogether. It's gonna bug me now, so I may as well.

Pages: 1