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Gameplay: You Can't Ignore Its Girth.
- tardis
- 12/02/2010 10:53 AM
- 34440 views
Legendary Legend
a game by Sibhod
Reviewed for your reading pleasure by tardis
I downloaded this game after seeing some heated discussion about it spring up on IRC, as well as argument about whether or not it deserved to be a featured game.
The prognosis didn't look good, but I had to see for myself. Unfortunately, we start low and snowball from there.
This is the first thing I saw after downloading the game:
Why anyone would actually use the untranslated RM 'installer' is beyond me, but I am thankful to say that due to this, I didn't start with huge expectations. I would have quit a lot quicker if not for this.
I'm going to forgo the traditional review format in favour of something of a play-by-play of the game. Everything you read from this point on was written as I played the game, so it's my immediate impression of what I experienced playing Legendary Legend.
Right out of the gate, the title screen music is some sort of horribly grating insipid upbeat midi. I'm terrified already, but it's nice to not hear any Final Fantasy music or anything I recognize immediately.
Nice photoshop text FX bro.
Textbox intro with visible blue RTP textbox and everything, then we cut to the dorms at the University of Miami. We're introduced to a group of students- Nick, Brian, and Steve. Is that Polyanna from Mother playing in the background? The scenes in the dorm involve a little tussle that ends in the presumable death of an innocent Dungeons & Dragons loving child and some mediocre banter. Cute, but stale. This looped earthbound music is really starting to get to me. All are shocked at the appearance of a mysterious fat man in a hat wearing some form of burlap sack robe. I think he's offering the characters psychotropic drugs of some kind. Something about "If the trip doesn't kill you." I don't even. The protagonists are proclaimed the "chosen ones" and are sent off on some sort of magical journey with a hearty "SHABONG."
Dude. Bong. He IS offering them drugs.
Masterful dialogue.
Cue screen tint transition to idyllic RTP village. The characters come to the conclusion that they have "GONE BACK IN TIME" (direct quote) and that they are "doomed to become lowly serfs in the feudal system!" (direct quote)
You can't make this shit up.
Run away while you still can.
Long story short, the crew meets up with "Rixislennia'Enlokulier-Horalenfilaasimelle, elven ranger!," a green-haired manlady with a horn- yes, like a unicorn- who forms them into an RPG PARTY. It's been a while now, and I'm still just scrolling through text. I'm starting to despair at the thought of ever actually getting to play a game in amidst all these insipid jokes about poking people with sticks and humorously named pubs, like the tee-hee worthy "Fornicating Goblin." Five seconds in RTPworld, and one of the characters has magically set a dog on fire.
You can't make this shit up.
Our heroes join up with Rixis(etc), get outfitted at the local Weapon/Armour shop(both shops share a building, of course) and AT LONG LAST, I get to control my characters! I hit up the local save point so I wouldn't have to sit through all of that shit again. I explored some houses. Judging from the fact the first one I barged into poked fun at the RPG trope referenced in this very sentence, I expected full-on RPG content to be found at every turn. I checked pots, dressers, miscellaneous items of furniture, everything. The two things I found that were actually interactable in the houses I checked were a bookcase with some unfunny fantasy book names and a pot that said "This is a pot!"
OH GOD IT HAS BECOME SELF AWARE RUN
One of the (very) few laugh-out-loud moments of the game came when I discovered a statue in town that told me if I started talking to statues, I'd never stop. Some graves in town had some pretty humorous flavour text as well.
Let's skip ahead a bit.
Went to the inn, ninja in my room, party leaves the in. LONG CUTSCENE.
I'm supposed to go invade some noble's house. Okay whatever. Rixis the Manlady goes to infiltrate the noble's house. My party watches through the window. They think they see the noble accosting their Obviously Hermaphroditic acquaintance. Then AWESOME SHIT HAPPENS:
This one totally came out of left field. I laughed pretty hard, even if it was just from the shock of the totally ridiculous splash screen popping up out of nowhere.
I found myself pausing to reflect at this point- the whole intro would have been a LOT less awful to sit through had it all been done in these comicbook splash screens. I could almost stand to look at that rather than the horrible RM graphics for the extreme period of time each cutscene seems to take.
I digress. Turns out I was breaking into this mansion to save- you guessed it- the princess. Oh, I didn't have to go looking for her or anything. The endless cutscene took care of any exploration I would have had to do, so I don't have to worry my pretty little head. Thus far I've gotten in about a solid minute and a half of actually controlling my characters and about 20 minutes of endless cutscenes and paging through text. Oh look, it's the title card that signals I'm finally into the game and out of the intro. About damn time.
I just love those shockingly deep internal monologues, don't you?
Some other stuff happens, and we're finally introduced to the antagonists. As expected, it's some mysterious asshole in a throne facing away from the player and his evil henchman, some white motherfucker with cornrows or some shit. I don't even care any more, can I fight shit yet? Cut back to my party and I've been joined by Zegi, the Cleric of Raping Little Girl Booty. I wish that was his real title, but the game throws some "goddess of love" bullshit at you that's more creepy than anything else. Oh shit, I'm on a world map!
FIRST EVER RANDOM ENCOUNTER YEAAAH NOW THAT'S MORE LI-
default rm2k3 battlesprites against the default rm2k3 plain backdrop face dangerously close to palm--
Maybe the fight itself won't be so bad. Maybe I have some cool ski- all skills suck just mash attack
Did I mention I can't even RUN from the random encounters? This is the first RM game where I have actually used autobattle. No shit. I do want to call some attention to the actually pretty okay custom/mostly custom battler sprites. If the whole game looked like that, I'd be a lot more interested in... Well, looking at it.
truly inspired mapping
Some other stuff happened, I wound up in a cave. This game gave me a terrible infection in both eyes, because I just couldn't see playing any more.
Legendary Legend is clearly an older RM* game, created by an author with very little knowledge of the programme or good game design in general. After what felt like an eternity of truly terrible cutscenes, I finally got control of my characters for an extended length of time. At that point, the only thing I can compare exploration in this game to is Quest 64 on the N64. In Quest 64, you walk from location to location across pointlessly huge grassy field maps, never stopping to explore anything or search for items or do side quests because there is nothing. You just follow the damn road until you hit the next town or inn or whatever. Add truly bland, uninspired maps using tilesets compiled with no thought toward graphical consistency, and you've got a visual recipe for disaster.
The writing in this game is dreadful. Truly uninspired and sincerely unfunny humour the author seems to feel the need to interject every few moments in the hope of sparking a 'choice catchphrase' that will become INTERNET PHENOM. Every single character in this speaks in the same disgusting 13-year-old-internet-dweeb-speek that all webcomic authors seem to think is just ever so adorable. Occasionally, it all breaks down into the worst type of otaku-ese verbal self-masturbation- read: "Nick = Warrior = Can't possibly take that demon thingie." and "His taint is still upon me. I can feel it!"
At the end of the day, Legendary Legend fails in even the simplest aspects of game design. The writing could be pretty enjoyable if you're 13 or have never read a book in your life, but it's not enough to carry an otherwise really disappointing game. Not only is it disappointing in terms of content and game design, but it's barely a game at all- it's an interactive webcomic with shitty RPG Maker battles. If you're looking for an enjoyable gaming experience, I suggest you seek elsewhere.
If you are looking to read a webcomic, the author of this game has made one! Sibhod should stick to webcomics- it's actually pretty good from what I've seen. You can find that here at his site here: http://www.valsalia.com/llarchive.htm
i probably waited too long to do this.
Posts
Your wish was somewhat granted: http://screwattack.com/videos/AVGN-Waynes-World-1 except it's a platformer instead of an RPG.
author=Fallen-Griever
if I had to play through loads of slow, boring, attack-mashing, random encounters to get from one gag to the next.
It is interesting you think that, given your review of Alter Aila: Genesis.
author=Fallen-Griever
I think it's pretty obvious from my AAG review that I found the battles fun...
Ahem, as I was saying.
I, for one, found the battles in that game intolerable and the gameplay much more "slow and boring" than this. Given how gameplay is clearly a somewhat subjective experience, perhaps the importance of quality writing is more significant than you think.
I guess it's because I'm fairly younger than everyone else, but I honestly enjoyed the game solely for its humor, which I did find funny. I will say that this game is definitely geared toward a very select group that enjoys stupid humor such as myself, and is definitely nothing special in every other area. I guess the writing was enough for Silveria and Solitarye, but I can understand how you wouldn't find it as enjoyable.
However, I am glad this game was featured. Being one of the first games I played when I joined RMN, I have fond memories of this game. And for those who think it doesn't deserve it, at least this game is a better choice than a lot other games on this site.
However, I am glad this game was featured. Being one of the first games I played when I joined RMN, I have fond memories of this game. And for those who think it doesn't deserve it, at least this game is a better choice than a lot other games on this site.
Guess I'm obligated to say something here.
tardis, I can definitely respect that you actually put your money where your mouth is and reviewed this game. However, I can't help but feel like your ire is being misdirected. It seems to me that you felt like this game was unworthy of being featured, but instead of directing that frustration where it belonged (at the staff), you instead took it out on the game itself (an innocent third party.) As such, your review mostly reads as a series of spiteful and needlessly insulting ad hominem remarks, mocking both the game and its creator. I don't think that was necessary or called for.
tardis, I can definitely respect that you actually put your money where your mouth is and reviewed this game. However, I can't help but feel like your ire is being misdirected. It seems to me that you felt like this game was unworthy of being featured, but instead of directing that frustration where it belonged (at the staff), you instead took it out on the game itself (an innocent third party.) As such, your review mostly reads as a series of spiteful and needlessly insulting ad hominem remarks, mocking both the game and its creator. I don't think that was necessary or called for.
this game is hilarious tardis, please
next time feature 'ghost in a bottle' as long as we are showcasing comedy games!
also: why would he not direct his displeasure at the game itself?? it is the featured game and he is reviewing it! the exercise of reviewing a product fundamentally involves leveling criticism at a specific media entity. the staff has nothing to do with it. he thought the game was bad and said so. maybe the uneasiness you are feeling over this is just.............guilt?
next time feature 'ghost in a bottle' as long as we are showcasing comedy games!
also: why would he not direct his displeasure at the game itself?? it is the featured game and he is reviewing it! the exercise of reviewing a product fundamentally involves leveling criticism at a specific media entity. the staff has nothing to do with it. he thought the game was bad and said so. maybe the uneasiness you are feeling over this is just.............guilt?
I don't think anyone here should be bashing comedy games unless they have the balls to try it themselves. They're tough to do given rm limitations on animations, and very few people would go to the trouble of adding voices to it either due to length (as in compared to flash cartoons). But ya know, just because something is tough doesn't mean you shouldn't try it. At least this game tried to implement gameplay into it as well, something I never had the balls to try and do. There are enough positive opinions here to show that he didn't fail completely.
the author takes responsibility for making a mediocre and not very funny game; the site takes responsibility for featuring it. not too hard to do......
author=newdisciples
I don't think anyone here should be bashing comedy games unless they have the balls to try it themselves. They're tough to do given rm limitations on animations, and very few people would go to the trouble of adding voices to it either due to length (as in compared to flash cartoons).
'Tis a poor craftsman who blames the tools..............
Compare "Mystic Quest" to "Seiken Densetsu 3". Both are different takes using the same hardware, and this is just a very rudimentary example.
So why don't you guys start featuring interesting looking games instead of "holy christ the balance is perfect!!!" or rtp comedy games?
I don't know, feature something special, as it stands, new people will just come on this site, see the featured game and think "wow, what a bunch of amateurs" then leave. Is it really so hard to think outside the box, outside your Dragon Quest box?
I don't know, feature something special, as it stands, new people will just come on this site, see the featured game and think "wow, what a bunch of amateurs" then leave. Is it really so hard to think outside the box, outside your Dragon Quest box?
author=Kef
the author takes responsibility for making a mediocre and not very funny game; the site takes responsibility for featuring it. not too hard to do......
The community takes responsibility for never being content with anything that goes on here.
author=sbesterIf the community is discontent with the game that's being featured then perhaps it's because they believe something different, perhaps better, more unique, maybe more interesting? should be featured.author=KefThe community takes responsibility for never being content with anything that goes on here.
the author takes responsibility for making a mediocre and not very funny game; the site takes responsibility for featuring it. not too hard to do......
Maybe if the community is discontent you should try to feature a game they think deserves to be featured?
author=Abdel McCrack
So why don't you guys start featuring interesting looking games instead of "holy christ the balance is perfect!!!" or rtp comedy games?
I don't know, feature something special, as it stands, new people will just come on this site, see the featured game and think "wow, what a bunch of amateurs" then leave.
yes yes yes. 99% of the traffic, from what I hear, comes through the site and never touches the forums. that means there is an immense number of people for whom the featured game is the one and only impression of the site they ever get. that big screenshot and synopsis front and center on the main page should be of vital importance to the site's health. the game up there needs to be a representation of the finest quality rmn is capable of. (ended sentence with preposition!) it should not be changed lightly i m o.
yeah ciel said everything i was going to say in response to soli.
if you don't like my review, you're more than entitled to your opinion. but it's my honest opinion of the game. any spite or irritation you pick up on over the course of my play-by-play in the review is what i was feeling as i wrote it. (:
i just really, really didn't like this game. and when i really, really dislike things, i am pretty vocal about it! and i know that some folks find the style of writing i used in the review to be humorous. if they derived some enjoyment from reading, then all the better for them. if not, they have at least heard an honest, contrasting opinion to the two staff reviews.
if you don't like my review, you're more than entitled to your opinion. but it's my honest opinion of the game. any spite or irritation you pick up on over the course of my play-by-play in the review is what i was feeling as i wrote it. (:
i just really, really didn't like this game. and when i really, really dislike things, i am pretty vocal about it! and i know that some folks find the style of writing i used in the review to be humorous. if they derived some enjoyment from reading, then all the better for them. if not, they have at least heard an honest, contrasting opinion to the two staff reviews.
author=Cielauthor=Abdel McCrackyes yes yes. 99% of the traffic, from what I hear, comes through the site and never touches the forums. that means there is an immense number of people for whom the featured game is the one and only impression of the site they ever get. that big screenshot and synopsis front and center on the main page should be of vital importance to the site's health. the game up there needs to be a representation of the finest quality rmn is capable of. (ended sentence with preposition!) it should not be changed lightly i m o.
So why don't you guys start featuring interesting looking games instead of "holy christ the balance is perfect!!!" or rtp comedy games?
I don't know, feature something special, as it stands, new people will just come on this site, see the featured game and think "wow, what a bunch of amateurs" then leave.
Hi guys, please listen to this.