ALPHAOMEGA247'S PROFILE

Was deemed by the Arishok as one who commands a great deal of respect. Was recently thrown out of a wheat field for going against the grain. Once conquered Rhode Island using a can of lima beans, a yo-yo, and a used copy of Star Trek: The Next Generation Season 3 on Blu-Ray. Is a founding member of the band Bladder Failure, whose hit single "Flushed From the Bottom of My Heart" spent nearly six minutes atop the Canadian Top 10 (until the software glitch was corrected). Invented the word "zfaifnv" while trapped in the back of a UPS truck with a flatulent snapping turtle.

ALSO: Does not tolerate use of the word "when" under any circumstance.