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Gotta admit I didn't think I'd be hitting the "my schoolmates are getting married" stage so soon....
Yellow Magic- 04/16/2017 05:46 PM
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Corfaisus
"It's frustrating because - as much as Corf is otherwise an irredeemable person - his 2k/3 mapping is on point." ~ psy_wombats
7874
That's nothing. I had a classmate who had a baby in 2007 (I know this because Facebook was a thing at the time). If that wasn't bad enough, I'm pretty sure she's about a year younger than me. I also knew a girl from middle school (a grade below) who had a baby with one schmuck, left him (or vice versa) and found another guy who was working two jobs to support the three of them by the same time.
Teen pregnancies are 18 years bad luck.
Teen pregnancies are 18 years bad luck.
First all of your friends get married.
Then all of your friends start having kids.
Eventually all of your friends have bought houses.
Then you're 30.
But damn, at least you're still working on that awesome RPG.
Then all of your friends start having kids.
Eventually all of your friends have bought houses.
Then you're 30.
But damn, at least you're still working on that awesome RPG.
author=Corfaisus
That's nothing. I had a classmate who had a baby in 2007 (I know this because Facebook was a thing at the time). If that wasn't bad enough, I'm pretty sure she's about a year younger than me. I also knew a girl from middle school (a grade below) who had a baby with one schmuck, left him (or vice versa) and found another guy who was working two jobs to support the three of them by the same time.
Teen pregnancies are 18 years bad luck.
Eek. I always wonder about people who have kids and then can't afford give them at least a decent life. Isn't that cruel to the kids?
author=pianotm
Most people get married too young. You can gauge wisdom by how long he or she waits.
What is "too young" to you? (I'm 25 next month)
author=SgtMettool
First all of your friends get married.
Then all of your friends start having kids.
Eventually all of your friends have bought houses.
Then you're 30.
But damn, at least you're still working on that awesome RPG.
:<
FWIW, I don't think many people here are gonna be able to afford houses even when they're 30...
author=InfectionFiles
I'm actually glad I didn't slip into that role when it presented itself. Waaay too young
You da man
I turned 24 in Jan and I got married last week. I bet you're far ahead of me professionally at least!
author=pianotm
Oh, actually, I thought you were younger.
eek
author=zDS
I turned 24 in Jan and I got married last week. I bet you're far ahead of me professionally at least!
double eek
Ever played the chair game? Soon the realization that the music stopped and all the kids are sitting and taking all the chairs will kick in, if it hasn't already. I'm 27 and there's just a couple of chairs left for me, and i'm standing very far away from them. It is not a pleasant feeling.
Necrile
50
Why does everyone just assume that kids/marriage is some level of success? I know plenty of people who are late into their 30's and happy with being single, and living their own lives how they want.
YM, you just gotta get married before me. ^.^ There's your bar~ It should be a low one because I'm personally not planning on getting married for a long, long, long time. Also, don't worry about it if it's not one your priorities. People are silly thinking marriage is some kind of necessity.
(Ha just kidding I'm 2 and I'm married already, nerd ;))
(Ha just kidding I'm 2 and I'm married already, nerd ;))
author=zDSWoah, congratulations! :D
I turned 24 in Jan and I got married last week. I bet you're far ahead of me professionally at least!
author=Yellow Magicumm so I responded to this and ended up writing a little more than I was expecting. I cut it down a bit, but there's still quite a few words. Not upset by the way just talkative. :O
Eek. I always wonder about people who have kids and then can't afford give them at least a decent life. Isn't that cruel to the kids?
I've never really agreed with this viewpoint although I suppose I see the logic. That being that if you can barely support yourself, you should probably avoiding taking on a super expensive baby.
My main issue with this is that it's kind of an oversimplified view. First, pregnancies do happen on accident. Like, birth control pills can be expensive, condoms can break, you may think you're infertile but somehow have a baby (happened to my mom). So, some people take it a step further and outright condemn poor people having sex. Which is, like... you're telling someone not to have sex because of the life they were born into, or a situation they may not have control of, etc. It's just really weird shame-based control of people who I promise you would not be poor w/ a kid if they had full control of their lives. There's also poor sex education to factor in, so there's a lot of teenagers walking around who think the pull-out method is a legitimate form of birth control. >.<
I find it even more difficult to accept this point of view when I see how a lot of poor people react to the fact that they just created a new life. They literally go full-out "single mom-3 jobs-no time for sleep-paycheck-to-paycheck-damn my health I have a child" mode. That's single-minded determination to take care of that new human at the expense of everything you have. :/ That reads as immensely self-secrificing and caring. Not cruel.
er, could talk about this more but should probably stop here XD I was going to defend people who chose to have a child also, because of similiar issues with control.
My main issue with this is that it's kind of an oversimplified view. First, pregnancies do happen on accident. Like, birth control pills can be expensive, condoms can break, you may think you're infertile but somehow have a baby (happened to my mom). So, some people take it a step further and outright condemn poor people having sex. Which is, like... you're telling someone not to have sex because of the life they were born into, or a situation they may not have control of, etc. It's just really weird shame-based control of people who I promise you would not be poor w/ a kid if they had full control of their lives. There's also poor sex education to factor in, so there's a lot of teenagers walking around who think the pull-out method is a legitimate form of birth control. >.<
I find it even more difficult to accept this point of view when I see how a lot of poor people react to the fact that they just created a new life. They literally go full-out "single mom-3 jobs-no time for sleep-paycheck-to-paycheck-damn my health I have a child" mode. That's single-minded determination to take care of that new human at the expense of everything you have. :/ That reads as immensely self-secrificing and caring. Not cruel.
er, could talk about this more but should probably stop here XD I was going to defend people who chose to have a child also, because of similiar issues with control.
author=NecrileThere is literally nothing wrong with people considering marriage a sucess, specially if finding a lifemate is an attractive goal for the person. Not everyone is inclined to live as a free spirit, and that is okay.
Why does everyone just assume that kids/marriage is some level of success? I know plenty of people who are late into their 30's and happy with being single, and living their own lives how they want.
Necrile
50
@Mirak: I get what you are saying, but I think it is toxic to base your level of success/progression on something that you ultimately have no say over. It might be cynical of me to say, but it seems more worthwhile to focus on yourself and let a partnership naturally happen. Forcing a relationship or something to that degree seems unhealthy. I'm not saying I'm not happy for people who find relationships, I'm just merely making the point that not-finding someone isn't necessarily a bad thing, and I personally know people who would typically be 'too-late for marriage/kids' are very much so enjoying their life.
It's the "traditional classic" that drives a lot of people to believing that it's something they have to do. Same standard is what makes up the "level of success"
Like Necrile said, if it comes naturally and it's something you want then awesome. But I certainly don't base marriage as some kind of success at life. It's not for everyone. I actually think it's sort of a silly practice. The truly said part is that some people will live a miserable life based on this practice. Having kids obviously complicate things as do other factors. But yeah. It's not for everyone and I definitely don't think it shows maturity all the time or something like "winning at life"
Like Necrile said, if it comes naturally and it's something you want then awesome. But I certainly don't base marriage as some kind of success at life. It's not for everyone. I actually think it's sort of a silly practice. The truly said part is that some people will live a miserable life based on this practice. Having kids obviously complicate things as do other factors. But yeah. It's not for everyone and I definitely don't think it shows maturity all the time or something like "winning at life"
The original concept of marriage had nothing to do with love. It was an alliance between neighboring tribes, then villages, then cities, then countries. The dowry was a show of good faith, the tribes way of demonstrating that they were willing to commit resources so that both tribes could unite as one. The marriage of husband and wife how the alliance was sealed, and depending on how you look at things, this can certainly be interpreted as one tribe PURCHASING a woman from another tribe (with a few exceptions, women throughout most of world were rarely viewed as being more than property). The notion of marriage for love didn't come until much later in history.
The concept of a dowry even survives to this day, in the form of the husband's family traditionally paying for the wedding.
The concept of a dowry even survives to this day, in the form of the husband's family traditionally paying for the wedding.
Shinan
4314
I remember some years ago when I was wandering the local autumn market where you generally meet people you haven't seen in years. I met one of my old schoolmates I hadn't in years and he had a kid with him. It did hit me a bit. I mean this was probably almost ten years ago now.
Nowadays my younger sister has two kids and a house (and is married with a husband) and I feel like I probably haven't changed much in the last ten years. But I try not to think of it too much and just play video games :)
Nowadays my younger sister has two kids and a house (and is married with a husband) and I feel like I probably haven't changed much in the last ten years. But I try not to think of it too much and just play video games :)
author=Necrile
Why does everyone just assume that kids/marriage is some level of success? I know plenty of people who are late into their 30's and happy with being single, and living their own lives how they want.
It's a cultural thing, arguably more in some cultures than others. Where I'm from (the Indian subcontinent), it's fairly often thought of as selfish to not have kids before the age of 30 if you're a man, or 25-26 if you're a woman.
I probably wouldn't be giving a crap right now if I didn't feel I had a certain duty to provide my parents with grandchildren. To an external person, it probably sounds dumb ("You don't have to provide your parents with ANYTHING!!"), but it's a bit more complicated than that unfortunately...
author=Gourd_Clae
YM, you just gotta get married before me. ^.^ There's your bar~ It should be a low one because I'm personally not planning on getting married for a long, long, long time. Also, don't worry about it if it's not one your priorities. People are silly thinking marriage is some kind of necessity.
LOL, right now I'm struggling with getting a long-term relationship, never mind marriage. When I think about it that's way, it's kinda silly for me to care about these things.
Also I can see where you're coming from: I should probably have instead wrote, "People who actively CHOOSE to have kids despite knowing they can only barely afford them, if at all". My bad.
author=Shinan
I remember some years ago when I was wandering the local autumn market where you generally meet people you haven't seen in years. I met one of my old schoolmates I hadn't in years and he had a kid with him. It did hit me a bit. I mean this was probably almost ten years ago now.
Nowadays my younger sister has two kids and a house (and is married with a husband) and I feel like I probably haven't changed much in the last ten years. But I try not to think of it too much and just play video games :)
Man, I feel you there. A guy I knew at Uni (he had the same thesis supervisor as me) already has a kid, and he's three months YOUNGER than me.
At the very least your sister has kids....my elder brother, for various reasons, isn't likely to get married anytime soon, so I feel most of the pressure is gonna be on me to settle down yada yada.
LockeZ
I'd really like to get rid of LockeZ. His play style is way too unpredictable. He's always like this too. If he ran a country, he'd just kill and imprison people at random until crime stopped.
5958
The good news is it's only another two years before they all start getting divorced.
Shinan
4314
Oh yeah I have a friend my age (might be a year younger even) who is a single mom with two kids. Didn't think I'd be hitting that stage so soon.
