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WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK OF THIS STORY AND CONCEPT FOR THE RPG I'M MAKING?
Posts
Mr_TagoMago
View playlists
CloseIncoming walls of text!
Yeah I was debating whether or not to post this in fear of my idea getting stolen not so much because I think it's the most genius thing ever but more because i'm paranoid. I figured the chances were extremely unlikely and I figure maybe if somebody here likes the concept enough they could join me and help me out with the game. Oh and obviously spoiler alert for a possible future RPG masterpiece lol.
The game will start of with scrolling text containing the following back ground story. Note that it is rather graphic as it is largely based on the myths surrounding Vlad the impaler A.K.A The real Count Dracula. Ignore any bad names as they're just temporary. Well here it is.
--
The tale I am about to tell you is not to be taken lightly. Although it is a tad bit gruesome it would be wise to pay
attention carefully so that you may not miss any significant details.
Long ago there lived a vicious king named Kalligre who bore both the blood of humans and demon beast. He ruled the land of Dura where he treated his subjects in the most miserable fashion. He made them work like dogs with little relief and
enjoyed torturing them on a daily bases. While eating he would have his soldiers beat a citizen to death as he watched.
He refused to sleep with any live women so he would pick a civillian woman who he fancied, have her beaten to death,
and then he would take her body to his bed to lust
with until the corpse was too rotten for any use.
One day Kalligre found he needed an heir to his throne so he chose a mighty youth named Alex from within his subjects to
raise as his own. Although his plan seemed to work and he got along with the young boy the truth be told this boy hated
Kalligre with all his might for the way he treated his subjects. Yes Alex truly loathed the king and was waiting for a chance to
to turn on him. One day he challenged the King to a practice duel with swords alone in the forest. The King obliged unaware
of Alex's true intent. Once the match began Alex charged into Kalligre impalling him with his sword whos blade had
previously been soaked in a deadly toxin that was effective against one of a demons breed. Alex then watched the King as
he was dying and smiled at the horror on his face. The final words of Kalligre which he cried out were 'You betrayed me!"
Alex took the sword that was now stained with Kalligres blood and left the scene never to return to his home country. With
its King deceased and already being in terrible shape from Kalligres habits the land of Dura fell with all of its citizens
having perished. This tell is not well remembered however those that know of it generally find interest in a myth that
surrounds the sword that was used to kill Kalligre the demon king. It is said that the sword is placed inside a temple
vault that can only be opened with the combination of five specific treasures. According to the myth if you obtain this
sword and dip it in the holy water at golden lillies springs it will grant you eternal life. It is perhaps just a myth but
there are those who fight hard in the search of this immortality.
--
Yeah sorry if the spacing is weird there I used copy and paste and it came out weird but I tried to make it a bit better. If you notice any plot holes they were intentional. Anyway the story goes you are a chimera who was created by a mad scientist and you live amongst other chimera he created in an underground town he created. You and all the other chimera people consider their creator their master and are his loyal citizens however above ground he is despised for playing God and the chimeras face discrimination and are seen as abominations. Your master the mad scientist fearing that his life is closing in on death and that he will not be able to continue his research sends you out to collect the previous treasures mentioned in the opening obviously in hopes of gaining immortal life.
One of these treasures is in possession of a princess so you journey to her kingdom to obtain it. Upon arrival the King makes a speech declaring that one of his countries towns has been attacked and all its citizens perished and that he has declared war (later it turns out he had the town destroyed himself so he could make an excuse to war the other kingdom but that's not really important now). Anyway this is atm not important to your character and since he is unable to just go and speak to the princess he sneaks into the castle through a secret passage. However upon meeting the princess she refuses to give you the treasure as she considers it a precious gem. Your character threatens to kill her if she doesn't hand it over and she screams out loud which summons the castle head wizard.
You then enter a fight with the wizard and upon defeating him he uses the last of his magic to send your soul into a nearby stuffed animal rendering you to be harmless and then the guards arrest you and the king has you sent to notorious prison. You ofcourse escape after some folks break in to save your jail mate. Still in stuffed animal form make your way to a village where a witch is being sentenced to burn. Being able to sympathize with her for being discriminated against you help her escape and in return she journeys with you to help you get a better body.
Well that's what ive got atm and sorry I did not realize how long a post this was going to be so sorry if tl;dr but yeah for those who stayed what did you think? Hope that didn't give off a vibe of trying way too hard by mashing up too many ideas and being super complex but I use a stream of consciousness thought process and really I'm going for a wherever the wind takes you style of story telling rather than just having this one big specific goal. Anyway interested in hearing your thoughts but please don't be too harsh i'm sensitive and I have aspergurs lol.
Oh if you're confused about the tone I'm going for think of the Terry Gilliam film Brazil. If you haven't seen it you should it's excellent!
Yeah I was debating whether or not to post this in fear of my idea getting stolen not so much because I think it's the most genius thing ever but more because i'm paranoid. I figured the chances were extremely unlikely and I figure maybe if somebody here likes the concept enough they could join me and help me out with the game. Oh and obviously spoiler alert for a possible future RPG masterpiece lol.
The game will start of with scrolling text containing the following back ground story. Note that it is rather graphic as it is largely based on the myths surrounding Vlad the impaler A.K.A The real Count Dracula. Ignore any bad names as they're just temporary. Well here it is.
--
The tale I am about to tell you is not to be taken lightly. Although it is a tad bit gruesome it would be wise to pay
attention carefully so that you may not miss any significant details.
Long ago there lived a vicious king named Kalligre who bore both the blood of humans and demon beast. He ruled the land of Dura where he treated his subjects in the most miserable fashion. He made them work like dogs with little relief and
enjoyed torturing them on a daily bases. While eating he would have his soldiers beat a citizen to death as he watched.
He refused to sleep with any live women so he would pick a civillian woman who he fancied, have her beaten to death,
and then he would take her body to his bed to lust
with until the corpse was too rotten for any use.
One day Kalligre found he needed an heir to his throne so he chose a mighty youth named Alex from within his subjects to
raise as his own. Although his plan seemed to work and he got along with the young boy the truth be told this boy hated
Kalligre with all his might for the way he treated his subjects. Yes Alex truly loathed the king and was waiting for a chance to
to turn on him. One day he challenged the King to a practice duel with swords alone in the forest. The King obliged unaware
of Alex's true intent. Once the match began Alex charged into Kalligre impalling him with his sword whos blade had
previously been soaked in a deadly toxin that was effective against one of a demons breed. Alex then watched the King as
he was dying and smiled at the horror on his face. The final words of Kalligre which he cried out were 'You betrayed me!"
Alex took the sword that was now stained with Kalligres blood and left the scene never to return to his home country. With
its King deceased and already being in terrible shape from Kalligres habits the land of Dura fell with all of its citizens
having perished. This tell is not well remembered however those that know of it generally find interest in a myth that
surrounds the sword that was used to kill Kalligre the demon king. It is said that the sword is placed inside a temple
vault that can only be opened with the combination of five specific treasures. According to the myth if you obtain this
sword and dip it in the holy water at golden lillies springs it will grant you eternal life. It is perhaps just a myth but
there are those who fight hard in the search of this immortality.
--
Yeah sorry if the spacing is weird there I used copy and paste and it came out weird but I tried to make it a bit better. If you notice any plot holes they were intentional. Anyway the story goes you are a chimera who was created by a mad scientist and you live amongst other chimera he created in an underground town he created. You and all the other chimera people consider their creator their master and are his loyal citizens however above ground he is despised for playing God and the chimeras face discrimination and are seen as abominations. Your master the mad scientist fearing that his life is closing in on death and that he will not be able to continue his research sends you out to collect the previous treasures mentioned in the opening obviously in hopes of gaining immortal life.
One of these treasures is in possession of a princess so you journey to her kingdom to obtain it. Upon arrival the King makes a speech declaring that one of his countries towns has been attacked and all its citizens perished and that he has declared war (later it turns out he had the town destroyed himself so he could make an excuse to war the other kingdom but that's not really important now). Anyway this is atm not important to your character and since he is unable to just go and speak to the princess he sneaks into the castle through a secret passage. However upon meeting the princess she refuses to give you the treasure as she considers it a precious gem. Your character threatens to kill her if she doesn't hand it over and she screams out loud which summons the castle head wizard.
You then enter a fight with the wizard and upon defeating him he uses the last of his magic to send your soul into a nearby stuffed animal rendering you to be harmless and then the guards arrest you and the king has you sent to notorious prison. You ofcourse escape after some folks break in to save your jail mate. Still in stuffed animal form make your way to a village where a witch is being sentenced to burn. Being able to sympathize with her for being discriminated against you help her escape and in return she journeys with you to help you get a better body.
Well that's what ive got atm and sorry I did not realize how long a post this was going to be so sorry if tl;dr but yeah for those who stayed what did you think? Hope that didn't give off a vibe of trying way too hard by mashing up too many ideas and being super complex but I use a stream of consciousness thought process and really I'm going for a wherever the wind takes you style of story telling rather than just having this one big specific goal. Anyway interested in hearing your thoughts but please don't be too harsh i'm sensitive and I have aspergurs lol.
Oh if you're confused about the tone I'm going for think of the Terry Gilliam film Brazil. If you haven't seen it you should it's excellent!
author=arcanAll that I wrote and this is the question you ask?
Why would you want intentional plot holes?
Second line in the scrolling text section was meant hint that something is off if you catch my drift.
Looks great! A few corrections:
On a daily "basis" instead of bases
"Civilian" instead of civillian
"Impaling" instead of impalling
"Whose" blade instead of whos
"Demon's" breed instead of demons
"Kalligre's" instead of Kalligres
This "tale" instead of tell
I don't think it was overly complex... It's good to have some layers of subtlety that the player doesn't necessarily have to know about. I could be your proofreader once the game is completed since you seem to have left out quite a few needed punctuation marks as well. However the overall story sounds great.
On a daily "basis" instead of bases
"Civilian" instead of civillian
"Impaling" instead of impalling
"Whose" blade instead of whos
"Demon's" breed instead of demons
"Kalligre's" instead of Kalligres
This "tale" instead of tell
I don't think it was overly complex... It's good to have some layers of subtlety that the player doesn't necessarily have to know about. I could be your proofreader once the game is completed since you seem to have left out quite a few needed punctuation marks as well. However the overall story sounds great.
Please tell me that large info dump is not going to be scrolling text as an introduction to your game. You should try to make it interesting instead of just dumping information on the player - spread the info out a bit over the course of the game (or first 'chapter'/prologue).
author=CashmereCat
Looks great! A few corrections:
On a daily "basis" instead of bases
"Civilian" instead of civillian
"Impaling" instead of impalling
"Whose" blade instead of whos
"Demon's" breed instead of demons
"Kalligre's" instead of Kalligres
This "tale" instead of tell
I don't think it was overly complex... It's good to have some layers of subtlety that the player doesn't necessarily have to know about. I could be your proofreader once the game is completed since you seem to have left out quite a few needed punctuation marks as well. However the overall story sounds great.
Oh yeah sorry about that. My grammar is pretty bad ofcourse I intended to mention that. That was more a rough draft really.
author=Liberty
Please tell me that large info dump is not going to be scrolling text as an introduction to your game. You should try to make it interesting instead of just dumping information on the player - spread the info out a bit over the course of the game (or first 'chapter'/prologue).
Again it was a rough draft but I was more worried about it being too long a text scroll than giving out too much info since the plot doesn't revolve around it in the traditional manner. Plus if I didn't make it obvious already part of the point is that it's not entirely true.
suzy_cheesedreams
1480
As long as this has a heavy metal soundtrack, I'm sold. (half-joking)
This kind of game introduction came up in a topic recently, you might find the whole thing interesting/useful:
http://rpgmaker.net/forums/topics/16744/
Hahahahaha... holy cow. After reading the whole thing, I honestly would want to play this.
I mean, those are some pretty eclectic ideas; I get the Terry Gilliam aspect, that kind of bizarre low-fantasy/sci-fi horror thing... but as soon as I read stuffed animal, I thought of like a pink bear thing running around a village with a witch. Hahahaha. (Which reminds me now of the gingerbread man (? can't remember exactly) scene in Gilliam's Brothers Grimm film.)
So I don't know what I'm trying to say other than that is a pretty bizarre, all-over-the-place premise, and that I don't think you have to worry about anyone stealing it :P
Lastly, I'll add that you should probably check out these two games, Middens & Gingiva, both by myformerselves:
http://rpgmaker.net/games/3843/
http://rpgmaker.net/games/4427/
I'm not positive (and I haven't played either of the games) but I get the feeling he's been influenced by Terry Gilliam also, among other things. So yeah, you might really dig his stuff.
This kind of game introduction came up in a topic recently, you might find the whole thing interesting/useful:
http://rpgmaker.net/forums/topics/16744/
Hahahahaha... holy cow. After reading the whole thing, I honestly would want to play this.
I mean, those are some pretty eclectic ideas; I get the Terry Gilliam aspect, that kind of bizarre low-fantasy/sci-fi horror thing... but as soon as I read stuffed animal, I thought of like a pink bear thing running around a village with a witch. Hahahaha. (Which reminds me now of the gingerbread man (? can't remember exactly) scene in Gilliam's Brothers Grimm film.)
So I don't know what I'm trying to say other than that is a pretty bizarre, all-over-the-place premise, and that I don't think you have to worry about anyone stealing it :P
Lastly, I'll add that you should probably check out these two games, Middens & Gingiva, both by myformerselves:
http://rpgmaker.net/games/3843/
http://rpgmaker.net/games/4427/
I'm not positive (and I haven't played either of the games) but I get the feeling he's been influenced by Terry Gilliam also, among other things. So yeah, you might really dig his stuff.
author=suzy_cheesedreams
As long as this has a heavy metal soundtrack, I'm sold. (half-joking)
This kind of game introduction came up in a topic recently, you might find the whole thing interesting/useful:
http://rpgmaker.net/forums/topics/16744/
Hahahahaha... holy cow. After reading the whole thing, I honestly would want to play this.
I mean, those are some pretty eclectic ideas; I get the Terry Gilliam aspect, that kind of bizarre low-fantasy/sci-fi horror thing... but as soon as I read stuffed animal, I thought of like a pink bear thing running around a village with a witch. Hahahaha. (Which reminds me now of the gingerbread man (? can't remember exactly) scene in Gilliam's Brothers Grimm film.)
So I don't know what I'm trying to say other than that is a pretty bizarre, all-over-the-place premise, and that I don't think you have to worry about anyone stealing it :P
Lastly, I'll add that you should probably check out these two games, Middens & Gingiva, both by myformerselves:
http://rpgmaker.net/games/3843/
http://rpgmaker.net/games/4427/
I'm not positive (and I haven't played either of the games) but I get the feeling he's been influenced by Terry Gilliam also, among other things. So yeah, you might really dig his stuff.
Actually I did have a few heavy metal instrumentals I planned on sticking in. Here's one I just thought of to use in the first boss battle!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4-QkRvczzA
Mostly though its going to have ambient and krautrock like this which I plan to use in the first dungeon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IXXr1IG7xg
Anyway really the theme of the game is about fate. It's about all the weird things that happen through out life until you die. The main thing is you keep running into bizarre situations unaware of where they will take you.
Will check those out that you posted when I get a chance Ive been really occupied with making this game lol.
suzy_cheesedreams
1480
Okay then. I'm interested in how you'll execute this, especially with the particular music you've chosen for the soundtrack.
For some reason I thought of Brutal Legend as I read your first post, hence my mention of heavy metal music.
For some reason I thought of Brutal Legend as I read your first post, hence my mention of heavy metal music.
author=suzy_cheesedreamsHavent played Brutal legend. Ive been wanting too though.
Okay then. I'm interested in how you'll execute this, especially with the particular music you've chosen for the soundtrack.
For some reason I thought of Brutal Legend as I read your first post, hence my mention of heavy metal music.
suzy_cheesedreams
1480
It's fantastic! I only wish Jack Black starred in more videogames, plus the whole Tim Schafer thing... yeah. It's a great game.
I want to also state that even if you cut it down a bit, that is still waaaaay too much text for a text scroll. Now, if you had the scenes play out or at least a picture of every scene that changes to give the player something besides a wall of text, that might work.
Just keep in mind that your first goal is to "hook" the player and make them want to play. A ton of backstory text is never the way to go about that, in my opinion.
Just keep in mind that your first goal is to "hook" the player and make them want to play. A ton of backstory text is never the way to go about that, in my opinion.
suzy_cheesedreams
1480
Agreed that it would probably be better to go with showing pictures of the events described in the text as the player reads it/making the prologue into cutscenes/have the scenes play out, but use the text to describe what is happening. Basically anything but a huge text wall.
author=unity
I want to also state that even if you cut it down a bit, that is still waaaaay too much text for a text scroll. Now, if you had the scenes play out or at least a picture of every scene that changes to give the player something besides a wall of text, that might work.
Just keep in mind that your first goal is to "hook" the player and make them want to play. A ton of backstory text is never the way to go about that, in my opinion.
I think I might do that as you suggested and show different pictures of the events. Making actual cut scenes won't actually work for what I'm trying to achieve. I was hoping that the disturbing and bizarre elements of the scrolling text mixed with the use of Neuköln by David Bowie will sorta draw in the player by gripping them in with the overall disturbing atmosphere.
Corfaisus
"It's frustrating because - as much as Corf is otherwise an irredeemable person - his 2k/3 mapping is on point." ~ psy_wombats
7874
Critique:
Kalligre:
• Is there any better/more subtle way for you to get the point across that he's a big bad guy instead of "he has people killed for his amusement, also he's a necrophiliac"?
Alex:
• Please don't name him Alex. People who have been around for a while will automatically be reminded of the default hero from RPG Maker 2000 and will likely chuckle.
• The way in which he goes about killing Kalligre is a bit absurd for multiple reasons:
1. Kalligre is half-demon while Alex is just a young child. If Alex doesn't like Kalligre, I'm sure he could tell from a mile away (kids aren't all that hard to figure out).
2. A "practice duel" seems like a really straight-forward means of assassination, not to mention that they'd likely be fighting with wooden swords in such a circumstance. Why not have him creep into his chambers while he's asleep and slit his throat?
Demon-slayer Sword:
• "Inside a temple vault that can only be opened with the combination of five specific treasures" sounds an awful lot like every earlier Final Fantasy mixed with Castlevania II: Simon's Quest. In short, it's been done to death and will come across as corny.
• Dipping a sword bathed in the blood of a demon into the holiest of holy waters would be the last thing you'd realistically try to gain immortality. You're stabbing an unholy blade into divine purity; that's more cause for blasphemous death.
Chimera:
• If you spent the entirety of your life being despised by literally everyone, I'd think after a while you'd be filled with self-hatred or resentment towards the people that put you in that position (in this case, the mad scientist "father figure").
• Furthermore, in a world full of people like Alex who would take any chance given to them to slay a beast that they just don't like, why would you leave the comfort of your home to search for a way to make your (as stated earlier) asshole of a father immortal?
Castle:
• In a well-constructed and well-guarded place, why is there a "secret passage" that any old demon can wander in to? Why is there any sort of opening to the outside world in a place designed to keep the outside world outside?
• I have reason to believe that, with all stated above, the chimera-demon wouldn't have time to threaten her life because, upon seeing him inside the castle, the princess would immediately alert the head wizard.
Stuffed Animal:
• It doesn't make much sense that a stuffed animal would actually be able to move, even if possessed.
• Why do they throw a stuffed animal in prison? Isn't that just the slightest bit silly?
• Why are you put in a prison cell with someone else who just so happens to be rescued by "some folks"? Like, wouldn't you be nailed up in a crate or something?
Witch:
• You, as a stuffed animal, help her escape being burned at the stake? How would you, as a very flammable stuffed animal, be able to untie her from well up on her stake and escape with her when there are clearly guards around who might find the idea of a living, moving stuffed animal rather peculiar?
• I'm all for a story where you start off as something and then get turned into something far weaker and have to survive until you find a way to thrive, but how exactly are you planning on making this transition? Are you going to kill someone and use the witch's magic to transfer your soul into their body?
Kalligre:
• Is there any better/more subtle way for you to get the point across that he's a big bad guy instead of "he has people killed for his amusement, also he's a necrophiliac"?
Alex:
• Please don't name him Alex. People who have been around for a while will automatically be reminded of the default hero from RPG Maker 2000 and will likely chuckle.
• The way in which he goes about killing Kalligre is a bit absurd for multiple reasons:
1. Kalligre is half-demon while Alex is just a young child. If Alex doesn't like Kalligre, I'm sure he could tell from a mile away (kids aren't all that hard to figure out).
2. A "practice duel" seems like a really straight-forward means of assassination, not to mention that they'd likely be fighting with wooden swords in such a circumstance. Why not have him creep into his chambers while he's asleep and slit his throat?
Demon-slayer Sword:
• "Inside a temple vault that can only be opened with the combination of five specific treasures" sounds an awful lot like every earlier Final Fantasy mixed with Castlevania II: Simon's Quest. In short, it's been done to death and will come across as corny.
• Dipping a sword bathed in the blood of a demon into the holiest of holy waters would be the last thing you'd realistically try to gain immortality. You're stabbing an unholy blade into divine purity; that's more cause for blasphemous death.
Chimera:
• If you spent the entirety of your life being despised by literally everyone, I'd think after a while you'd be filled with self-hatred or resentment towards the people that put you in that position (in this case, the mad scientist "father figure").
• Furthermore, in a world full of people like Alex who would take any chance given to them to slay a beast that they just don't like, why would you leave the comfort of your home to search for a way to make your (as stated earlier) asshole of a father immortal?
Castle:
• In a well-constructed and well-guarded place, why is there a "secret passage" that any old demon can wander in to? Why is there any sort of opening to the outside world in a place designed to keep the outside world outside?
• I have reason to believe that, with all stated above, the chimera-demon wouldn't have time to threaten her life because, upon seeing him inside the castle, the princess would immediately alert the head wizard.
Stuffed Animal:
• It doesn't make much sense that a stuffed animal would actually be able to move, even if possessed.
• Why do they throw a stuffed animal in prison? Isn't that just the slightest bit silly?
• Why are you put in a prison cell with someone else who just so happens to be rescued by "some folks"? Like, wouldn't you be nailed up in a crate or something?
Witch:
• You, as a stuffed animal, help her escape being burned at the stake? How would you, as a very flammable stuffed animal, be able to untie her from well up on her stake and escape with her when there are clearly guards around who might find the idea of a living, moving stuffed animal rather peculiar?
• I'm all for a story where you start off as something and then get turned into something far weaker and have to survive until you find a way to thrive, but how exactly are you planning on making this transition? Are you going to kill someone and use the witch's magic to transfer your soul into their body?
author=Corfaisus
Critique:
Kalligre:
• Is there any better/more subtle way for you to get the point across that he's a big bad guy instead of "he has people killed for his amusement, also he's a necrophiliac"?
Alex:
• Please don't name him Alex. People who have been around for a while will automatically be reminded of the default hero from RPG Maker 2000 and will likely chuckle.
• The way in which he goes about killing Kalligre is a bit absurd for multiple reasons:
1. Kalligre is half-demon while Alex is just a young child. If Alex doesn't like Kalligre, I'm sure he could tell from a mile away (kids aren't all that hard to figure out).
2. A "practice duel" seems like a really straight-forward means of assassination, not to mention that they'd likely be fighting with wooden swords in such a circumstance. Why not have him creep into his chambers while he's asleep and slit his throat?
Demon-slayer Sword:
• "Inside a temple vault that can only be opened with the combination of five specific treasures" sounds an awful lot like every earlier Final Fantasy mixed with Castlevania II: Simon's Quest. In short, it's been done to death and will come across as corny.
• Dipping a sword bathed in the blood of a demon into the holiest of holy waters would be the last thing you'd realistically try to gain immortality. You're stabbing an unholy blade into divine purity; that's more cause for blasphemous death.
Chimera:
• If you spent the entirety of your life being despised by literally everyone, I'd think after a while you'd be filled with self-hatred or resentment towards the people that put you in that position (in this case, the mad scientist "father figure").
• Furthermore, in a world full of people like Alex who would take any chance given to them to slay a beast that they just don't like, why would you leave the comfort of your home to search for a way to make your (as stated earlier) asshole of a father immortal?
Castle:
• In a well-constructed and well-guarded place, why is there a "secret passage" that any old demon can wander in to? Why is there any sort of opening to the outside world in a place designed to keep the outside world outside?
• I have reason to believe that, with all stated above, the chimera-demon wouldn't have time to threaten her life because, upon seeing him inside the castle, the princess would immediately alert the head wizard.
Stuffed Animal:
• It doesn't make much sense that a stuffed animal would actually be able to move, even if possessed.
• Why do they throw a stuffed animal in prison? Isn't that just the slightest bit silly?
• Why are you put in a prison cell with someone else who just so happens to be rescued by "some folks"? Like, wouldn't you be nailed up in a crate or something?
Witch:
• You, as a stuffed animal, help her escape being burned at the stake? How would you, as a very flammable stuffed animal, be able to untie her from well up on her stake and escape with her when there are clearly guards around who might find the idea of a living, moving stuffed animal rather peculiar?
• I'm all for a story where you start off as something and then get turned into something far weaker and have to survive until you find a way to thrive, but how exactly are you planning on making this transition? Are you going to kill someone and use the witch's magic to transfer your soul into their body?
I love how you expect all this logic from a game that's revolved around black humor and abstract ideas. Some of those complaints are good but if you payed attention I actually addressed some of those like the fact I'm not going to use a lot of those names. Also some of your logic is really flawed like the idea a chimera would blame his creator for everyone elses prejoduce or that he would feel self resentment when he lives in an underground civilization with other chimeras so he's generally away from the prejoduce and lives among allies.
Yes throwing a stuffed animal in prison is silly that's part of the point. Perhaps its a terrible prison and the king hopes the stuffed animal will be driven to suicide lol. Also you seemed to make a lot of unecessary assumptions about how things will be executed.
No offense but you seem butthurt from the previous thread tbh. Again not trying to make the end all masterpiece of RPGs just something that's actually worth the to e to play.
Corfaisus
"It's frustrating because - as much as Corf is otherwise an irredeemable person - his 2k/3 mapping is on point." ~ psy_wombats
7874
>What do you guys think of this story?
>It's a comedy
>Dismiss critique
It's your game, so just make it. It clearly doesn't matter what the naysayers say.
Please never use this phrase, it's sexist/homophobic.
>It's a comedy
>Dismiss critique
It's your game, so just make it. It clearly doesn't matter what the naysayers say.
author=Mr_TagoMago
butthurt
Please never use this phrase, it's sexist/homophobic.
author=Corfaisus
>What do you guys think of this story?
>It's a comedy
>Dismiss critique
It's your game, so just make it. It clearly doesn't matter what the naysayers say.
author=Mr_TagoMago
butthurt
Please never use this phrase, it's sexist/homophobic.
Dude literally your critique would suggest you don't care for hardly any RPGs as you dismissed my ideas for things you could also find in popular final fantasy titles. There's been ff games where you snuck into a hidden passage and entered a castle and snuck past the guards hell there's been several RPGs like that I thought in this case it made since to use it. Not trying to be an ass but seriously bringing up the idea that a possessed teddy bear shouldn't be able to live because it doesn't have organs and what is kind of dumb I mean its called fantasy for a reason and its not like this trope hasn't been used effectively before. You also don't seem to realize RPGs go by a different logic than real life I mean once in DQ 4 I had to travel into a mine and get some TnT so I could use it to make a loud sound and scare a guy even though realisticly there are plenty of easier ways to accomplish a loud noise like screaming or using a magic attack but hell that's part of the RPG charm.
I will admit that you had a point about collecting 5 treasures to open a vault was a tired out cliche though I didn't actually plan on having you collect all these treasures so it isn't really being used in the same way.
Giving critiques is fine but really you made it obvious you were trying to dismiss my ideas based on the confrontation in the previous thread. Again you can't criticize a fantasy for not being entirely realistic or a comedy for being a bit silly that's not how it works.
Despite the shenanigans in the other thread I feel Corfaisus made a valid assessment here and I agree on most of his points. I can see you disagreeing with him if this game is intended to be comical, but I don't remember that being stated anywhere and if fact at the start you seem to be implying otherwise, "The tale I am about to tell you is not to be taken lightly. Although it is a tad bit gruesome..."
Also, just because an RPG is commercial doesn't mean that everything in it is an example of good design(ie. the TnT thing, secret entrance the hero that only hero knows about). I feel the secret entrance thing can be explained sufficiently if you add more the information to the story(as well as a lot of other things Corfaisus pointed out), but others like the TnT situation just seem plain stupid.
Also, just because an RPG is commercial doesn't mean that everything in it is an example of good design(ie. the TnT thing, secret entrance the hero that only hero knows about). I feel the secret entrance thing can be explained sufficiently if you add more the information to the story(as well as a lot of other things Corfaisus pointed out), but others like the TnT situation just seem plain stupid.
author=arcan
Despite the shenanigans in the other thread I feel Corfaisus made a valid assessment here and I agree on most of his points. I can see you disagreeing with him if this game is intended to be comical, but I don't remember that being stated anywhere and if fact at the start you seem to be implying otherwise, "The tale I am about to tell you is not to be taken lightly. Although it is a tad bit gruesome..."
Also, just because an RPG is commercial doesn't mean that everything in it is an example of good design(ie. the TnT thing, secret entrance the hero that only hero knows about). I feel the secret entrance thing can be explained sufficiently if you add more the information to the story(as well as a lot of other things Corfaisus pointed out), but others like the TnT situation just seem plain stupid.
One of his points was that a Teddy bear couldn't be living because its stuffed and doesn't have organs. How about in Chucky huh? Its fiction and not meant to be 100% realistic. I referred to the tone as being like that of Brazil which is a black comedy. I'm just saying its my first RPG and if I'm being held to higher standards than Dragon Quest and Final Fantasy that's messed up. Also he mentioned me using the name Alex which I just placed temporarily and even mentioned I did so.
