SUPREME COURT STRIKES DOWN BANS ON GAY MARRIAGE IN US

author=CAVE
dress it up however you want but you can only be so polite when you're basically stating 'your lifestyle is an abomination.'

Having sex with people with the same type of genitalia as yourself isn't a lifestyle. It's just an activity. Telling someone it's wrong is no different than telling someone it's wrong for them to eat meat. If you build your ~core identity~ around being a carnivore then that's extremely silly, and building it around being gay is the same. More to the point, Emmych herself has said in the past that it's not that important to her identity, just something she does, one aspect of her, so I don't know why she'd be any more upset about people not liking that thing she does than she is about people not liking the fact that she hangs out on an RPG Maker forum.

We were talking about gay characters in video games at the time when I remember she posted this:

author=emmych
I'm a queer woman. I'm white. I'm not exactly rich. But I'm also funny, I can also draw, I also like to get into fights about stupid things and play video games until ungodly hours of the morning and eat Subway sandwiches instead of cooking and I don't like cleaning my house and I like walking to get groceries because it makes my legs feel strong and I like talking to random people and making them smile and reaching out to those who need help and working to make the world a better place to live for everyone in it and I have trouble taking myself seriously so I joke all the time and I suffer from depression and I have a weak stomach when it comes to horror movies and I play the piano sometimes and I like to sing and I used to do theatre and I get really mad about stupid things and one of my pet peeves is when people leave cupboard doors open in the kitchen and I value my relationships with my family and I can be a bit of a lone wolf and I have trouble trusting people and I beat myself up over things and I wallow in guilt a lot and and and blah blah blah etc. etc. etc.

That's only a fraction of who I am, but surely there's one thing in there that you can go "oh, hey, I relate to that!" or is even vaguely familiar to you. This is my point -- when it all comes down to it, we are all human beings and a character's gender, race, sexuality or whatever shouldn't be a barrier for how the audience relates to them.

This rung true to me, not just in games but in real life. Your sexuality isn't that important. It shouldn't be important to other people, and likewise it also shouldn't be important to you. It's not intrinsically any more important to your identity than the fact that you like horror movies or that you order from Subway. People just become defensive about things they like that get attacked, and have to argue about why they like them. And the more times they're forced to get defensive like that, the more they think about the issue, and the more "important" an aspect of them it becomes. But that's artificial importance. It's only made important because other people are being bigots.

Once you realize that, you can realize no one is attacking you. They're just disapproving of one of your passtimes: having sex with certain people. That's fine. Most people probably disapprove of most of my passtimes. My mom certainly strongly disapproves of all of them. No big deal, people are allowed to not like things. Maybe you don't like it when people smoke, or when they drive SUVs, or when they eat meat, or when they leave the toilet seat up, or when they leave the toilet seat down, or when they homeschool their kids. Or maybe you don't like when they stick their dingalings in dudes' butts. Or maybe you don't like when they prevent people who stick their dingalings in dudes' butts from adopting kids. You're allowed to say so, and you're allowed to say you'd approve of the government regulating those things. That doesn't automatically make you a bigot. It's fine. People not liking things is fine. Getting offended when people don't like the stuff you like is pointless and helps no one, least of all yourself, because then the person you're talking to goes into battle mode.

I mean this is a topic about the most controversial supreme court decision of the last decade. So if you wanted to make posts about whether you approve of that decision and why or why not, then I feel like this probably is the place for it.

there are things you could point out and discuss r. this being bad. like states that already said no having to make changes to existing structures like taxes and spousal rights. i'm not a 'g man' but this sounds like a bitch to do. I wouldn't say the cons outweigh the benefits but you could bring up this point.

'it's just wrong' is kind of worthless because there's not really anything that can be said to that except 'no it's not'

well yeah but they shouldn't? i get your point a little but why?
people are too different. It's funny. If you like sex, you're a slut. if you're a virgin, you're, well, a virgin. people like to complain and stick their noses.
Each person has their own set of basic necessities that can't be measured by anyone else.

For some people sex is the core part of a relationship. for some others, well, some others are asexual. Some people dream of marrying one day. Some others absolutely despise the idea. And it's all fine. ´-`)/

let's be happy and that's it. ´^`)/

author=LockeZ
Relationships have nothing to do with sex. That's just a cultural thing that is mostly peculiar to the last 40 years or so of certain first-world western societies. Across most places and most times, relationships are about love, and marriage is about sex, and those two things have little correlation.

Actually no?

People get that idea from their impression of arranged marriages among the nobility from a certain time period (and then again, that was just the ideal, as passionate affairs still existed) and copy paste it across all of human history, and thus like to pretend our modern interpretation of love, sex, and relationships are some radical modern invention. It's not, and it's bullshit.

So as a recap of this entire thread:

We begin by praising the Supreme Court decision to legalize gay marriage throughout the country.

Then Cashmere post riles people's jimmies. People start attacking him for that.

Then we start talking about the political values and histories of marriage.

Then we talk about iPhones.

And now we are on the subject of the meaning of marriage.

I fucking love RMN. :)

"Or maybe you don't like when they prevent people who stick their dingalings in dudes' butts from adopting kids." - lockez


this sounds drastically different from you liking subway. there was so much vile substance in that little part there, you're not slick at all. keep your bigotry to yourself. thanks. same-sex couples are perfectly capable of raising children, and are actually more likely to *want* them than opposite-sex couples & whether or not i want my penis in a man or a woman or whoever else has absoulutely nothing to do with that.


nothing you said has made sense so far and i think you should probably just tone it down a little

I wasn't originally gonna go back and check this thread because I love myself and I'm still not sorry for telling off someone who deemed my existence a sin, but I gotta say somethin' here.

LockeZ, I've got a bone to pick with you, because you are mega misquoting me. I don't even remember the exact context of that quote (or even where you found it? Like how old is that?), but you obviously missed the point. My identity as queer person is EXTREMELY important to me, because it shapes the way I move through the world. Sexuality, whether it be straight or some flavour of queer, is important. Straight folks, you think yours isn't important, but it actually is: it's a free pass to let you navigate the world unafraid of violence or judgement. And guess what? Same-sex marriage isn't the end of that stigma for LGB folks, so you still get that free pass while I'll be hanging around here enjoying my heaping helpings of homophobia. And I'm in Canada! We've had same-sex marriage legalized for 10 years, folks!

What I was talking about in that post is that someone having a different gender/sexuality/race/whatever shouldn't be a barrier for identifying with them. I didn't say these things don't matter, because they do! They matter a lot. I take great issue with someone using my words to make a point I 100% disagree with, so I'm gonna have to gently tell you to knock it off.

Also yup Penta is right I am a they/them, so use those, everyone. Thanks.

EDIT:

author=Adon237
but in all honesty CashmereCat is an amazing RMN user with a lot to offer us, his comment didn't bother me at all! it really wasn't all that inflammatory.

By welcoming people with toxic views into spaces that are supposed to be inclusive, you make the space exclusive in a way that almost always favours bigots and pushes out the people who are being harmed.

author=Liberty
I'm still waiting for Australia to catch up with the marriage laws (fuck you Abbot) but I'm very happy for Americans who can now marry their loved ones.

Unfortunetly it was Julia too, she could have made changes, and it was Howard who changed the law in 2004 to define it as 'a union of a man and woman', the little creep. Still civil unions are legal in the ACT and recognised in Queensland, Tasmania, Victoria and New South Wales, and it looks like it's finally going to go to a conscience vote in the August 2015 sitting. So we may get there this year.

It's got to be said though that whilst Australia is behind in marriage legislation, it's one of only a handful of countries in the world that mandates third gender designation on all identity documentation. So if the marriage legislation gets changed to simply state 'a union of two people' there would already be precedent for any consenting adult to marry any other consenting adult irrespective of their gender identity. Straight, Gay, Bi, Pan, Omni it's all good.