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MY GIRLFRIEND IS HAVING AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR
Posts
Nightblade
2723
Nightblade
View playlists
CloseThese stories are always touchy because we can never be sure we're hearing the whole truth.
A frank and civil discussion is in order. If she insists on hiding the truth - end it... or call her bluff and end it.
Trust is the cornerstone of any good relationship. You can't expect complete and pure honesty out of any human being; but if she's being evasive about very simple things... Well, it isn't a very good sign... Or so I'm told.
Incidentally, I've never been in a relationship: but have no problems telling other people what to do. This can't possible end poorly!
A frank and civil discussion is in order. If she insists on hiding the truth - end it... or call her bluff and end it.
Trust is the cornerstone of any good relationship. You can't expect complete and pure honesty out of any human being; but if she's being evasive about very simple things... Well, it isn't a very good sign... Or so I'm told.
Incidentally, I've never been in a relationship: but have no problems telling other people what to do. This can't possible end poorly!
AznChipmunk
4613
Call her out on the evidence you found, ask her not to interact with him (or whatnot) for you, if she does not comply, sucks.
Nightblade
2723
post=114134
Call her out on the evidence you found, ask her not to interact with him (or whatnot) for you, if she does not comply, sucks.
He can't tell her what she can and cannot do. Respect for one another is also another important factor in any relationship.
demondestiny
889
post=114129
That is the worst fucking advice ever.
Hahahahaha kind of like the advise you gave him
post=114105
He is definitely moving in.
post=114136
Hahahahaha kind of like the advise you gave him
post=114105
He is definitely moving in.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metaphor
maladroithim
1495
Yeah Nightblade is right. The thing is that when there is a problem like this, you can't just go "THIS MUST BE FIXED OR ELSE". Because trust is broken. It's been expressed that you are no longer the guy she likes. You can't just get that back.
I mean I didn't help it by snooping. But she snoops through my stuff all the time. Like she digs up old internet posts and is like WHAT IS THIS????????? I bet you if we don't break up we will have a fight over this thread in 2011.
I mean I didn't help it by snooping. But she snoops through my stuff all the time. Like she digs up old internet posts and is like WHAT IS THIS????????? I bet you if we don't break up we will have a fight over this thread in 2011.
AznChipmunk
4613
post=114135post=114134He can't tell her what she can and cannot do. Respect for one another is also another important factor in any relationship.
Call her out on the evidence you found, ask her not to interact with him (or whatnot) for you, if she does not comply, sucks.
And I'm saying that if she respects him and still cares about him, she needs to prove it somehow.
edit:
post=114102
The Yoga and guitar are a smooth move with which I cannot compete (I play an electronic keyboard and I write video game music).
guitar is a stereotypical instrument play bagpipes instead
post=114138
Yeah Nightblade is right. The thing is that when there is a problem like this, you can't just go "THIS MUST BE FIXED OR ELSE". Because trust is broken. It's been expressed that you are no longer the guy she likes. You can't just get that back.
I mean I didn't help it by snooping. But she snoops through my stuff all the time. Like she digs up old internet posts and is like WHAT IS THIS????????? I bet you if we don't break up we will have a fight over this thread in 2011.
Uhhhhhh...here's the question; do you see any sort of reasonable hope of salvaging the relationship?
Nightblade
2723
post=114138
Yeah Nightblade is right. The thing is that when there is a problem like this, you can't just go "THIS MUST BE FIXED OR ELSE". Because trust is broken. It's been expressed that you are no longer the guy she likes. You can't just get that back.
I mean I didn't help it by snooping. But she snoops through my stuff all the time. Like she digs up old internet posts and is like WHAT IS THIS????????? I bet you if we don't break up we will have a fight over this thread in 2011.
Then it would seem that both parties are guilty of snooping. Find the cause of this lack of trust between the two of you. Has it always been like this? Did something happen down the line? Bring this up whilst discussing this matter. Don't let this fester - confront her and discover the truth as soon as you can. The longer you wait; the more pain the both of you will have to endure.
And I'm saying that if she respects him and still cares about him, she needs to prove it somehow.
It isn't that simple, the human ego is a difficult and fickle beast... saying anything to this effect would be demeaning at the very least.
...
I almost sound like I know what I'm talking about.
Edit: For whatever reason, I'm immensely interested in meddling / hearing what happens.
If you feel comfortable, let us know how it goes.
Guilt trip her, but don't act too impulsively. Act smoothly; let her know that you know something's up (without directly telling her), and if there is concrete evidence, go ahead and say bye bye.
A relationship without trust is not worth the effort.
Of course, this matter isn't as cut and dry as a formula. Use your best judgement I guess.
Also, don't try to win her back by being like the other guy; you must be proud of playing the electronic keyboard and making games. I know it sounds trite, but if she doesn't genuinely like you for who you are and what you enjoy doing, then you'd really have to question why she's dating you.
I wish you the best of luck.
A relationship without trust is not worth the effort.
Of course, this matter isn't as cut and dry as a formula. Use your best judgement I guess.
Also, don't try to win her back by being like the other guy; you must be proud of playing the electronic keyboard and making games. I know it sounds trite, but if she doesn't genuinely like you for who you are and what you enjoy doing, then you'd really have to question why she's dating you.
I wish you the best of luck.
WolfCoder
3554
You're asking for love advice on a forum where people make their own RPGs?
The answer is simple. If her loyalty is so thin, you should just drop her. It's going to hurt you much more than it does now if you don't do something about it.
The answer is simple. If her loyalty is so thin, you should just drop her. It's going to hurt you much more than it does now if you don't do something about it.
post=114102
while playing guitar of course). The Yoga and guitar are a smooth move with which I cannot compete (I play an electronic keyboard and I write video game music).
while i am decidedly guilty of using the 'sensitive guitar guy' thing to attract others, keyboardists who write video game music are awesome.
i'd find a keyboard playing game music writer attractive. don't get down on yourself about it dude.
also, yoga = infinitely gay.
and since it has yet to be said, i might as well chime in with BITCHES AIN'T SHIT
Kef
0
post=114124
Don't feel bad dude that he might be better than you
hahah
anyway you seem pretty set in your decision. idk how serious you are with her but it might be time to move on!! you dont seem to trust her after all, and you've already shown her your insecure/distrusting side. not that you're to blame for that, i'd be kinda pissy too in your situation.
but the truth is, whether she is cheating or not, your relationship doesn't seem like it was that strong to begin with, so... don't hang on to it just because you feel obligated to
^^ well the only tip I can give you is:
Don't go out trying to tell her what to do...
She will probably say that you don't give her enough space and things like that.
But if the guy is in to Yoga, he is probably very calm... So you can go and have a nice chat with him, just to be sure of the intentions of this Dalsin wannabe...
But again BITCHES AIN'T SHIT
But think, she will have to deal with a guy with low respect for relationships...(that might probably drop her if its in his best intrests)
Don't go out trying to tell her what to do...
She will probably say that you don't give her enough space and things like that.
But if the guy is in to Yoga, he is probably very calm... So you can go and have a nice chat with him, just to be sure of the intentions of this Dalsin wannabe...
But again BITCHES AIN'T SHIT
But think, she will have to deal with a guy with low respect for relationships...(that might probably drop her if its in his best intrests)
Your girlfriend, form what I am hearing, obviously has grown very used to you being around. Subconsiously, she assumes you will always be around to be with her. Thusly, she puts you at the back of her mind when she's with this guy, because she thinks you will always be there.
My advice? Leave. I wouldn't say BITCHES AIN'T SHIT, but I would just leave her. Either...
a) She will be so shocked that you left her that she will remember that you even exist in her love life
b) She will embrace it and go with this guy. From what I gather, this person isn't the sensative, yoga-practicing girly man he poses to be. She might just come back.
c) She will find this thread ansd be disgusted.
Understand you have to take this advice completely expecting this to turn out for the worst. You have to make it seem you truely wish to leave her. And if you do, kudos to you. There will always be someone else.
I hope my advice helps.
EDIT: Oh, and elaborating on B...
My advice? Leave. I wouldn't say BITCHES AIN'T SHIT, but I would just leave her. Either...
a) She will be so shocked that you left her that she will remember that you even exist in her love life
b) She will embrace it and go with this guy. From what I gather, this person isn't the sensative, yoga-practicing girly man he poses to be. She might just come back.
c) She will find this thread ansd be disgusted.
Understand you have to take this advice completely expecting this to turn out for the worst. You have to make it seem you truely wish to leave her. And if you do, kudos to you. There will always be someone else.
I hope my advice helps.
EDIT: Oh, and elaborating on B...
barudirush
But think, she will have to deal with a guy with low respect for relationships...(that might probably drop her if its in his best intrests)
Kef
0
i am sure many dudes go into yoga because it makes them look sensitive and then use that to pick up women.
anyway yeah you should break up. you don't seem very invested!
anyway yeah you should break up. you don't seem very invested!
Darken
3952
post=114135
He can't tell her what she can and cannot do. Respect for one another is also another important factor in any relationship.
This is a good point, RELATIONSHIPS ARE ALL ABOUT TRUST AND HONESTY isn't entirely true because theres always has to be a little room for accepting mistrust in order to not fuck up the relationship entirely.
RMN, the obvious help for relationships. Maybe there should be a Love Help forum with BITCHES AINT SHIT subtitle.
