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A PSYCHOLOGICAL INQUIRY - THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SUBMISSION AND SELFLESSNESS
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Mitsuhide_The_Vagrant
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CloseHere's an example scenario: let's say you go to a fast food restaurant and you order something to eat for carry out. You receive your food and arrive home only to realize that part of your order is either missing or different. What do you do?
The above is a hypothetical situation, but I ask this because I grow genuinely curious sometimes about not only my reactions to particular scenarios but also other's reactions. When you request or seek someone or something and end up receiving something incomplete or completely different altogether, yet you choose to accept the incomplete thing, would you consider that submission or selflessness.
Obviously, this could be considered submission because you're settling for less, allowing yourself to overlook the mistake or shortcoming of the benefactor/giver in spite of the fact what you received isn't precisely what you asked for.
On the other hand, this could be seen as a positive outlook and be considered selflessness. Despite the benefactor's/giver's mistake, you choose to overlook it because you don't want to be a bother; you'll settle for less because it's "good enough."
They both are essentially the same, but submission is more so a negative outlook and selflessness more so a positive one.
Consider the above situation happened to someone you know and they choose ignore the mistake. Would you think that person is being weak and submissive because they clearly did not get what they requested, or would you consider that person selfless--sure their meal was prepared incorrectly, but since they don't want to cause trouble and force the extra stress onto the waiter/waitress/chef they accept the meal as is and conclude that it is "good enough."
How would you approach a similar situation, and do you think one mindset is better to have than the other?
...And if this topic is weird to anyone, I'm just being all contemplative and psychological right now. 8/
Also this probably could have been posted in General Discussion but I was like whatev.
The above is a hypothetical situation, but I ask this because I grow genuinely curious sometimes about not only my reactions to particular scenarios but also other's reactions. When you request or seek someone or something and end up receiving something incomplete or completely different altogether, yet you choose to accept the incomplete thing, would you consider that submission or selflessness.
Obviously, this could be considered submission because you're settling for less, allowing yourself to overlook the mistake or shortcoming of the benefactor/giver in spite of the fact what you received isn't precisely what you asked for.
On the other hand, this could be seen as a positive outlook and be considered selflessness. Despite the benefactor's/giver's mistake, you choose to overlook it because you don't want to be a bother; you'll settle for less because it's "good enough."
They both are essentially the same, but submission is more so a negative outlook and selflessness more so a positive one.
Consider the above situation happened to someone you know and they choose ignore the mistake. Would you think that person is being weak and submissive because they clearly did not get what they requested, or would you consider that person selfless--sure their meal was prepared incorrectly, but since they don't want to cause trouble and force the extra stress onto the waiter/waitress/chef they accept the meal as is and conclude that it is "good enough."
How would you approach a similar situation, and do you think one mindset is better to have than the other?
...And if this topic is weird to anyone, I'm just being all contemplative and psychological right now. 8/
Also this probably could have been posted in General Discussion but I was like whatev.
author=Feldschlacht IV
key point: just dont be a little bitch homie
Mog, please try and avoid answers like this.
Actually, this was expected considering this is in the Welp, Welp/Moronic forum.
Basically you're thinking too much into it. Live your life with the motto of confidence, and don't settle for less. If you're in a situation of mutual expectation and the other person doesn't deliver, you're damn right it's alright to bring attention to it within reason.
In your analogy with someone ordering food, they're paying for a certain service to be rendered. It's not a charity or a feel good operation, they're going out of pocket to eat at an establishment when they could have eaten somewhere else. If that contract of expectation is broken and that person didn't get what he expected, yes, it's perfectly fine to correct that situation before it becomes a problem.
No it's not right to start breaking chairs if you didn't get want you wanted like a petulant child, but it's perfectly fine to give and in turn receive what you expected out of a situation.
In your analogy with someone ordering food, they're paying for a certain service to be rendered. It's not a charity or a feel good operation, they're going out of pocket to eat at an establishment when they could have eaten somewhere else. If that contract of expectation is broken and that person didn't get what he expected, yes, it's perfectly fine to correct that situation before it becomes a problem.
No it's not right to start breaking chairs if you didn't get want you wanted like a petulant child, but it's perfectly fine to give and in turn receive what you expected out of a situation.
Kef
0
author=Mitsuhide_The_Vagrantauthor=Feldschlacht IVMog, please try and avoid answers like this.
key point: just dont be a little bitch homie
Actually, this was expected considering this is in the Welp, Welp/Moronic forum.
but he's right. don't let people walk on you. doesn't mean you have to pitch a fit over a slight, but nor does it mean you should hang your head and accept it. as for what I'd do if I got like the wrong hamburger or whatever, and I didn't notice it until I got home - it's not worth driving back, but I'd probably stop eating there.
but if it was something less dumb and more expensive? I'd definitely chase after what I paid for. this is why you keep receipts for everything too.
Once (literally only once) I was eating at an Appleby's and the steak and potatoes I got was like, not good. The steak was tough and stringy and the potatoes were very overcooked and dry and just gross. When the waiter came at end of meal and asked the usual bullshit question ("How was everything?"), instead of giving the usual bullshit answer, I actually just said: "This was pretty bad, actually" and then I explained why.
This was COMPLETELY OUT OF CHARACTER FOR ME.
The waiter apologized and our entire meal was free.
I would personally consider that submission, but this is ACTUALLY a reasonably valid question.
This was COMPLETELY OUT OF CHARACTER FOR ME.
The waiter apologized and our entire meal was free.
When you request or seek someone or something and end up receiving something incomplete or completely different altogether, yet you choose to accept the incomplete thing, would you consider that submission or selflessness.
I would personally consider that submission, but this is ACTUALLY a reasonably valid question.
Is this about commercial contracts or personal relationships, not knowing this, i find it impossible to answer.
btw, what is "homie"?
btw, what is "homie"?
author=chana
btw, what is "homie"?
Are you American or from the UK/Canada/Mexico? Saying 'no' to this is the only way your answer is going to be forgivable.
I really don't think the answer to that question would qualify someone as either submissive or selfless. There's just a whole lot of factors.
For instance, once a delivery guy came and brought a $50 bill change to a $100 bill. The next day, we paid another delivery with that $50 bill, and found out it was a false bill. We did pretty much everything we could do... called the company many many times, spoke to a lot of people, posted complains in places that allowed posting complaints, etc. We just didn't go to the police cause there was no proving where that bill had come from.
Final result: none.
If I had just ignored that bill, would I have been submissive or sefless? Maybe just lazy.
Giving a less ambiguous question, I'd say, in that particular situation, it's more submissive than selfless. Because you're not really helping anyone by not complaining. If they gave you something incomplete, it's just a mistake they would gladly correct if pointed (in case they're a serious business). Not being able to complain is a lack of assertiveness that I would probably qualify as submission.
For instance, once a delivery guy came and brought a $50 bill change to a $100 bill. The next day, we paid another delivery with that $50 bill, and found out it was a false bill. We did pretty much everything we could do... called the company many many times, spoke to a lot of people, posted complains in places that allowed posting complaints, etc. We just didn't go to the police cause there was no proving where that bill had come from.
Final result: none.
If I had just ignored that bill, would I have been submissive or sefless? Maybe just lazy.
Giving a less ambiguous question, I'd say, in that particular situation, it's more submissive than selfless. Because you're not really helping anyone by not complaining. If they gave you something incomplete, it's just a mistake they would gladly correct if pointed (in case they're a serious business). Not being able to complain is a lack of assertiveness that I would probably qualify as submission.
I still don't grasp it, to take a precise example : what is the difference between a "little bitch homie" and "little bitch" not homie? (I know its totally out of the subject but might as well learn...).
author=chana
I still don't grasp it, to take a precise example : what is the difference between a "little bitch homie" and "little bitch" not homie? (I know its totally out of the subject but might as well learn...).
Where are you from?
I don't think it's ever just one or the other if you want to categorize it that way. The first question I always is 'is it worth it?' and it usually doesn't need to go any further than that. There are many cases where confronting the issue will change nothing but make people angry so if someone messes up I write it off as a mistake and move on unless it happens again unless it's something important. I don't really consider my actions selfless or submissive but I do like to think I am doing the reasonable thing and everything else is irrelevant.
author=calunioI totally agree with that. (About "homie"........?)
There's just a whole lot of factors.
author=chana
France.
Homie is an English American word that many people use to refer to a friend or a buddy. It's popular among many inner city residents and the hip hop scene, which I know France has both of (not making fun of you for not knowing the word, although a bit surprised, I know France consumes a lot of American culture).
It's cool, dude!
In any case, I think this conversation could go somewhere, hopefully we can get it moved into General and out of Welp.
In any case, I think this conversation could go somewhere, hopefully we can get it moved into General and out of Welp.
