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  • TEETH
  • Added: 10/21/2016 06:22 PM
  • Last updated: 03/28/2024 04:01 PM
  • 2121 views

Posts

Pages: 1
The art style seems interesting... a little creepy-cute somehow. Now, I'm not good on it but I think the text needs a little proof-reading (just a little nitpick).

I like the character sheet design :^D. I'm watching this >_<.
author=orochii
The art style seems interesting... a little creepy-cute somehow. Now, I'm not good on it but I think the text needs a little proof-reading (just a little nitpick).

I like the character sheet design :^D. I'm watching this >_<.


Hey thanks for letting me know. Can you tell me which parts of the text are wrong? I wouldn't want incorrect grammar on the bio page. thank you!
I don't think I'm the most appropiate for this job, but let me try then :'D (I hope someone else corrects me if I'm wrong).

Name: Vivienne
Age: 514 (apparents 24)
Height: 8'3''
Birthday: Feb. 1st
Classification: Vampire
Home: Mansion
Personality: Charming

Likes: Blood O-
Dislikes: Mess
Bio: Pumpkinton's first resident. Spends most of her immortal life reading. Likes to collect teacups. Her enchanted cane tends to unnecessarily bring objects from another dimensions.


I think something like that should be mostly fine. Just some minor changes, like articles and pronouns to help in keeping the meaning on the sentences (even writing this I have problems deciding over when to pick "in"/"on"/"to" "orz).
Pages: 1