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meh_ch
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Y HALLO THAR.
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Making –BELIEVABLE- Dialogue (edited version 3.0!).
So. Was that dialogue an example of what we should do with our writing or what we shouldn't do with it? To be honest, it's incredibly awkward and it doesn't go very well with your descriptions of your characters. If I had to be as blunt as Blank is (supposed to be), I'd say that your OCs are OOC. The general advice that's given in this is useful, but you can't back it up.
A BASIC Guide to Romance
I think that the "no mention of physical attractiveness on either side" is actually ignorance on the writer's part. I'm sorry, but that's a huge part of a relationship (not saying it's the hugest), especially if the male and female in question aren't in their 40s (which is the case in most RPGs). Looks are a big deal when you meet a person, even if you aren't interested in them. The way this is written makes it sound like under these same circumstances, the relationship would still work out if we replace either of the words "female" or "male" with "donkey".
There's something missing between these two sentences. If these people are just friends, they can't just fall in love with each other by deepening their friendship. It simply doesn't work that way, because you hit a plateau you don't even realize is there. Something has to trigger the romantic thoughts. Be it some huge external influence like a life or death experience or a speech on luv by the hero's sidekick or anything that makes them unsatisfied with the current status of their relationship, really.
In turn, they try to help each other get rid of these flaws. Their persistence in helping each other brings them to realize their true feelings for one another.
There's something missing between these two sentences. If these people are just friends, they can't just fall in love with each other by deepening their friendship. It simply doesn't work that way, because you hit a plateau you don't even realize is there. Something has to trigger the romantic thoughts. Be it some huge external influence like a life or death experience or a speech on luv by the hero's sidekick or anything that makes them unsatisfied with the current status of their relationship, really.
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