GOURD'S QUEST II - FORUM ADVENTURE GAME!

Option:
> Go South to beat the crap out of Samantha
Results:
Considering Samantha has been ruining your already horrible day left and right, you think it'd only be fair if you kicked her teeth in. You walk towards Samantha and her slightly creepy face. Sheesh, this blue dirt is really sticky. You've been here five minutes MAYBE, and there's already wads and wads of it stuck in your shoes.
"Okay, Samantha. I'm sick of your crap. What's your deal?"
"My deal? You're only the single most insignificant thing I've seen on this planet."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever."
You take out your pole and smile - you're going to enjoy this. Samantha poises herself. You jump up and while spinning in the air, fling your pole at Samantha. She can hardly bear this.
"H-how can you be this strong? I thought my mother broke you-!"
"I'd say hallucinating an alternate world is as broken as a person can get. I guess it's a perspective thing. Anyway-" you retrieve your pole and hold it over your head again. Samantha cowers back a little.
You slam down hard on her again with your pole and she looks as if she's glowing from her wounds.
"-this is fun!"
You kick her in her side and she almost completely snaps in half. Her body can barely be seen amidst the light. You sigh and kick her other side, throwing her towards the plateaus. She screams loudly as she dissolves away into nothing but tiny pieces that fly away in the wind.
"If only I had this kind of strength for real."
You sigh again then realize Samantha left something behind.
It's a boomerang with a circled asterisk-type symbol printed on it in red. You pick it up and put it in your backpack.
Options:
> Go to the woman
> Search for treasure on the plateaus
> Walk into the light
> Other: Do what you'd like.

Options:
> Search for treasure on the plateaus
Results:
"Why am I bothering looking for stuff? Why am I talking to myself?"
Pffft, you do whatever you want. You jump up the the plateaus one by one. There appears to be less gravity here so hopping up them is very easy for you. It's really fun too. Just as you had anticipated, you spot some treasure. An entire chest is ahead of you guarded by two large feral lions. No problem. The left one pounces you, but you have your pole out by now and you easily parry it. You send it flying - unexpectedly far. It is sent careening off the edge of the dreamy world. While you were watching this, the right cat had picked the lock on the chest and used its contents on you - it was an expertly carven obsidian spear! Yeowch! You're speared right to the ground. You throw your pole and you hit! The other cat is knocked out. You wiggle off the spear and look at it. It really is nice, but you like your pole better. You rip the ornate tip off of the spear and attach it to your pole using some blue dirt. Cool! You put your extra pole in your bag. Now that you have your upgraded pole, you pole vault to the next plateau holding the 'zombie' from earlier.
"Don't you think I forgot about that bite you gave me earlier!"
You run at the thing, it looking very distinctly frightened. When you get close enough, you plant your pole in the ground and use your remaining velocity to spin up the pole and kick the zombie off the side of the dream world. A bottle of zombie spittle comes flying back up into your hands. Melquior would like this. You put it in your bag and snatch up a particularly pretty flower to also stash. You think that's everything here.
Options:
> Approach woman
> Walk into the light
> Other: Do what you'd like

Options:
> Approach woman, of course. Never leave an area without examining all the corners.
Results:
You walk to the North. Huh. It's like a statue. You poke it. The woman in the north, seemingly frozen in time until now, stretches whilst flying slightly above the ground.
"Ahhhh, child. How long was I asleep?"
"Huh? I have no idea."
"Of course you do."
"Uh, no. Hey, you're kind of freaking me out, lady."
You turn around to walk away.
"How dare you walk away from the one who gave you life?! Insolent child."
"Huh?" you turn around "you're...god?"
"Did I say I was?"
"Yes."
"Incorrect."
You're really confused now.
"What are you?"
"Well, I'm a god. I breath the life. Gaia creaes the vessel. Everything you are is thanks to me. And much like breathing, things live as I breath out, and die as I breath in."
"So...did I die?"
"No, but you should have. Your friend cheated you. He bound you to the Earth while you were crossing to live with I. You are in a purgatory of sorts. He was a msitake anyway."
Mistake? Melquior has saved you countless times - he's no mistake!
"What?! Don't talk bad about my friend!"
You're having trouble hiding your emotions here.
"Do not tempt me, child, I will destroy you if you show too much disrest."
Who does this lady think she is? Without thinking, you swing your bar at her. You hear melodic, evil laughing and you fall down. Yeowch, you can feel being beaten up all over again. Your head hurts...


"Your mind is no longer your own."
*Launch Melqiuor Perspective*

You have to pause to rest again. Gazpar really weighs quite a bit, or maybe you're just weak. It is midnight now and you're dragging Gazpar home. The moon is hanging heavily upon the sky as you slowly move Gazpar to your house. The clowns all agreed that home was Gazpar's best shot at a recovery.
"I'm going to help you okay? You're going to be fine."
Your eyes are still a little red from when you thought he was dead. It took all the strength you could muster to not murder the bullies while they were lying face-down, knocked out cold on the ground.
"...Think you a...?"
You almost drop him in surprise when he speaks.
"G-Gazpar? Are you okay? Oh my god, I'm so happy you're alive."
"Yes? Mel...?"
"Yeah! You're okay."
You are very ecstatic when you realize he's fine.
"How did...? Erf."
He's not exactly 'with it' though.
"You have Ralsabeth to thank for you living, Gazpar. She had Equilibrium Stabilizers in her purse - her mother takes them daily apparently.
"Thank you..."
"Thank her not me. "
"You saved me..."
"Well, yeah, I guess"
"And you're breaking your back moving me...I'm useless..."
"Don't say that! You've saved me plenty of times! Remember the alligators?"
"Hehehe. Crocodiles..."
You both laugh. Gazpar seems to be feeling better already. You begin to cry again though, because you're so happy.
"Don't cry...I'm fine."
"What if they come at you again when I'm not with you?"
"Heh...I'm not afraid of any fucking bully."
His language is vulgar but his words ring true. You arrive at your house shortly. Throughout the night, you tend to Gazpar with the immune stabilizers you were gifted. He tells you of his dream and shows you the things he brought back. You both rationalize it must have been real.

The next morning, Gazpar is rarin' to go. He's no longer injured save for a limp.
"Okay, Melquior! Let's get to the bottom of what's happening today! I figure that naked chick was behind this. The only way we're going to end this is to end her! We only have to figure out how to get back to that realm. "
"Well, you got there by having the snot beat out of you. How about we try NOT to do that and find another way?"
"Fair enough. Any ideas"
You think about it and come up with one.
"Gazpar, let me see your shoes."
"Huh, why?"
"Just do it!"
He shows his giant clown shoe to you and you find exactly what you were looking for.
"There! That blue dirt!"
"Huh?"
You rip it off of his shoe and feel it. You've always had a natural sense...when you feel something, the perfect recipe appears in your head.
"Yesss."
"What are you doing, Melquior?"
"I know exactly what to do. We need a dragon fang, orphan tears, zombie spittle, a brew of a Loransiun Georinia and chocolate, and the final ingredient..."
"Yes?"
"The final ingredient...is a hero's ashes."
"Well, that's great. So, if we find all these we accomplish...?"
"We'll have access to the purgatory. I can feel it."
"If you say so... Where are we going to find these, anyway?"
"Easy. The Adieu Orphanage and the Brewers' Lair. We can find all those things there. Also, we'll need a big space."
"How about the football field?"
"Perfect. We'll make this and gather the clowns at the football field."

...

The Adieu Orphanage is a very happy place. It's very peceful and serene. It was also built upon a hero named "Emily Adieu" There's even a statue of her there. It's very well kept however so obtaining the ingredients you need will be a task.
"Let's do this, Melquior! Pick our entrance plan and let's go!"
Options:
> Front door
> Back Door
> Look around the statue for an entrance
> Look around a nearby bench for a secret entrance
> Make explosive radish bombs with zombie coma soup and blow your way in.

Option:
> Look around the statue for an entrance
Results:
You had always wanted to see this statue in person - it's somehow even more heroic up close than you had expected. It depicts a beautiful girl with long golden hair. By the look of it, is made of smooth, colored marble. Below the statue is a plaque that reads: "Say adieu to your Past, and hello to your new Present - the Future."
You've always thought it very poetic, but you wonder now if there's a little more to it.
"Hey, Gazpar?"
"Yeah?"
Gazpar leaves the shoe heel he was inspecting and comes to the front of the statue.
"What do you make of this?"
You watch as he reads it.
"It's some dumb poem I guess."
"Come on, think harder. If I can find something weird with it you definitely can."
Gazpar shoots you an annoyed look and looks again.
"Well...it's kind of weird how 'Past', 'Present', and 'Future' are capitalized."
Oh! You were looking at a smudge. Leave it to Gazpar... You'll just take credit for this discovery anyway.
"Yes, exactly!"
There's an awkward silence.
"...And?"
"...I have no idea. How about we look around more?"
You prod at the capitalized letters as you walk away. They glow at your touch and the 'F' comes off into your hand.
Options:
> Inspect Bench
> Inspect Statue More
> Inspect Fountain
> Go in through Front
> Go in through Back

Option:
>Check the nurse (and steal the tranquilizer gun too)
Results:
"Gazpar, you're doing such a great job guarding that door! I don't think I could keep watch that well! Besides, I'd rather any other rabid rainbow nurses eat you rather than me."
"Gee, thanks a lot."
Speaking of rabid nurses of rainbows, you decide to inspect the nurse as...questionable as that may sound. You check her large pocket and discover some tranquilizer dart reloads. This makes you realize you should take her tranquilizer gun from her. Your mother always told you not to steal but never specified if stealing tranquilizer guns from nurses who attacked your friend was alright... You figure it is and obtain both the reloads and the gun. While thinking of the next place to search you hear Gazpar's voice.
"Are you going to check the hat or not?"
It hadn't occurred to you to check there. You run your hand over it and feel something sharp... Hey, it's the dragon tooth you needed!
"See, what'd I tell ya?"
You ignore him and carry on with your investigation. In her back pocket is a highly explosive Monasi Ball. You're taking that with you for sure.
"Hey, hurry up with the search Sherlock Holmes, there's this guy talking about getting something from here after he deals with orphan problems."
The dragon tooth is a little too big for your bag so you allow Gazpar to carry it for now.
Options:
> Search wardrobe
> Search behind the north door
> Search in Octopus tank
> Search behind east door
> Allow Gazpar to search
> Other: Do what you'd like

Option:
> Search Octopus Tank
Results:
"I'm almost done, don't worry."
You continue your search at the octopus tank. It's really gross-looking but you rationalize sticking your hand in because you know that school needs you. Inside feels as disgusting as it looks.
"YUUUUCK!"
"Ahh, what?"
"...I think it licked me."
"Octopuses don't lick people."
"They do if you have your hand in their mouth."
"What?!" Gazpar turns around and sees the octopus has latched onto your hand.
"Why the heck did you stick your hand in there?!"
"I was curious."
Gazpar face palms and directs you to lift your hand out so he can search the inside of it octopus free. You obey, and as Gazpar predicted, it's still attached to you. Now that you look at the purple thing closely, you believe it's a female. Gazpar plunges his hand into the aquarium and finds a string on the bottom. Upon pulling it, a compartment underneath the creature's home opens up revealing ashes and an urn.
"Hey, do you think those are Emily's ashes, Melquior?"
The octopus makes a loud sucking sound in approval.
"This little guy certainly seems to think so. you're going to have to carry it though, I have no more room."
The octopus makes more sucking sounds, as if trying to communicate.
"I think he wants to hold it, Melquior."
"Er, that's probably a bad idea. I mean, he's not even coming with us."
It bites you.
"Okayokayokay, it can come." It makes more sucking approval sounds and grabs the ash filled urn with a spare tentacle, crawls to the bag on your side, and roots itself to the side of your bag.
"Hey, why do you get the octopus?"
"If you want him, take him."
The octopus slaps you on your butt with a tentacle.
"Yeowch! Nevermind, he wants to ride with me."
"Fine, but do you hear the footsteps?"
Someone's coming! The both of you scramble to the North door and attempt to open it. It's locked! You try your key but it doesn't work here.
"Oh no..."
When you both give up, your new tentacled friend reaches over to the door lock with a spare tentacle and picks the lock. The three of you immediately rush in. On the other side, you pat your new friend.
"Thank you, it means a lot."
The octopus clearly approves. You find your self in a large, light-blue room with waterfalls everywhere. In the middle is a display case featuring a bottle with some kind of a liquid. The octopus is pointing to it with a tentacle - he also almost made you fall with the shift in weight.
"Do you think these are orphan tears, Gazpar?"
"Why would they have a bottle of orphan tears in here?"
"Well...they may have gone a little cuckoo at the loss of their friends. Besides, How'd you think we were going get orphan tears, Gazpar?"
"I figured we were going to punch an orphan in the face or something."
"You're horrible..."
Gazpar shrugs and walks to the casing and gives it a nice bang with his spare pole. This results in flashing red lights, the activation of a large fan, and many holes in the floor opening up. Gazpar is sent flying around the room. You'd join him if your octopus wasn't holding you to the floor. Time to figure this out.
Options:
> Throw your explosive ball at the case
> Jump across the holes
> Throw your octopus friend to it
> Cook up a special Radish Stew that will make you heavier then hop across the holes
> Wait until the wind stops
> Other: Do what you'd like

Someone needs to name your new octopus friend! Whoever names him may not choose the next action.