LET'S WORK ON YOUR GAME DESCRIPTIONS!

from Marrend
The kingdom of Nayru possesses enchanted lands {semicolon works better,} a great source of magical energy. But not a one who tried to extract it succeeded. In search of this great power, an evil mage called Lord Krull captured the castle of Nayru unnecessary comma, and imprisoned itunnecessary apostrophe's people.

Using almost all his power {phrasing?}, he managed to extract Nayru's magic into orbs. Even thought {new typo} those orbs were scattered throughout the land, Krull had no qualms sending minions to collect those orbs {repetitive!}.

A young mage passes through {the} kingdom of Nayru and hears requests for help {phrasing?}. Using a magic rod {any old rod? Try 'hers'}, she chases away the creatures that were attacking an old lady. As the woman explains the situation, one of Krull's minions steals the wand, possibly mistaking it for an orb.

Now the mage is beset with two problems: how to recover her rod, and obtain the orbs before Lord Krull can? {unnecessary, ruins sentence flow, not a question}

The kingdom of Nayru possesses enchanted lands; a great source of magical energy. But not a one who tried to extract it succeeded. In search of this great power, an evil mage called Lord Krull captured the castle of Nayru and imprisoned its people.

Using his mighty sorcery, he managed to extract Nayru's magic into orbs. Even though the orbs were scattered throughout the land, Krull had no qualms sending minions to collect them.

A young mage passes through the kingdom of Nayru and hears a cry for help. Using her magic rod, she chases away a band of creatures attacking an old lady. As the woman explains the situation, one of Krull's minions steals the wand, possibly mistaking it for an orb. Now she must recover her rod and seek out the orbs to stop Lord Krull!

from dwart
Fragments that have spread throughout the kingdom, forcing Kruul to send his creatures to collect the orbs.

from dwart
Now she must to embark in a journey

author=halibabica
Just a couple of things...

Shirou and Yurika were childhood friends. Yurika had a gift for playing the piano, and even at the age of 9, she was making her own compositions. As much as Shirou enjoyed listening to Yurika, she left one day because of her family. They sent her to Hiroshi Academy, a school for the musically inclined. Shirou promised her that he would learn to play the piano, and that they would meet again one day at Hiroshi.

Shirou is 15 now, and he has certainly learned to play the piano. However, he has yet to compose his own song. The only way he could enter Hiroshi was to use the power in his left eye to see a person's past, though he can only see the past 7 seconds of that person's past. He also has a power in his right eye to see a person's future, though only 6 seconds into that person's future.

It was the overuse of those powers that caused him to have terrible headaches, and eventually hospitalized. The prognosis was grim: the people that he sees are as black shadows. Thus, he can no longer differentiate between one person and another. Is there a cure to this blindness, or will he have to live the rest of his days like this? Can he keep his promise to Yurika if he cannot identify her?

When Shirou and Yurika were kids , they were childhood friend . Shirou enjoys the sound from Yurika's piano every day . Yurika is a little girl who played piano and also composed her own songs when she was 9 years old , but one day she left him because of her family . Her family wants to take her come to Hiroshi Academy , a school founded for children who with ability play piano and compose their own songs . All students need to play piano by their own songs every week , it's kind of like a test . Shirou promised he will try learn piano to come in Hiroshi Academy by somehow and meets her there again
Shirou is a 15 years old and at least he's able play piano now but he can't compose a song . Finally he came to Hiroshi Academy by cheating with the power in his left eye to see the past another person , albeit only for 7 seconds when directly looking at someone in the past when they're writing a note of song so he can remember all note of song and things else . In case he has problem with someone who knows his acts as copy their song and make his own song by somehow , they're want to warn him but with the power in his right eye to see the future in 6 seconds to foresight their act . After all , he used too much power for own acts . He started feeling terrible headache and he had an accident then he need to be hospitalized . When he wake up , a terrible thing is happening to him that he saw everyone completely is black . He couldn't realize who is who and he need to find a solution how to cure his eyes.

Shirou and Yurika were childhood friends. Yurika had a gift for playing the piano which Shirou enjoyed listening to every day. But one day, Yurika is sent off to Hiroshi Academy, a school for children with the ability to play piano and compose their own songs. Shirou can't play the piano, but he promises Yurika, that they will meet again one day, at Hiroshi Academy.

6 years later, Shirou now 15, can play the piano, but has yet to compose his own songs. But, over night, he has suddenly gained the unique ability to see through time.

With this new unexplained gift, Shirou can now enter Hiroshi Academy by cheating. He uses his left eye, to look into the past to plagiarize other students work, while using his right eye, to see into the future in order to avoid detection and confrontation by his fellow students. But this power to see through time eventually catches up with Shirou. Now he can no longer make out who he sees, because everyone is dark. all he can make out are shadows.

Will he ever be able to see Yurika again?

author=halibabica

author=vishi221
GAME DESCRIPTIONS :

When Shirou and Yurika were kids , they were childhood friend . Shirou enjoys the sound from Yurika's piano every day . Yurika is a little girl who played piano and also composed her own songs when she was 9 years old , but one day she left him because of her family . Her family wants to take her come to Hiroshi Academy , a school founded for children who with ability play piano and compose their own songs . All students need to play piano by their own songs every week , it's kind of like a test . Shirou promised he will try learn piano to come in Hiroshi Academy by somehow and meets her there again
Shirou is a 15 years old and at least he's able play piano now but he can't compose a song . Finally he came to Hiroshi Academy by cheating with the power in his left eye to see the past another person , albeit only for 7 seconds when directly looking at someone in the past when they're writing a note of song so he can remember all note of song and things else . In case he has problem with someone who knows his acts as copy their song and make his own song by somehow , they're want to warn him but with the power in his right eye to see the future in 6 seconds to foresight their act . After all , he used too much power for own acts . He started feeling terrible headache and he had an accident then he need to be hospitalized . When he wake up , a terrible thing is happening to him that he saw everyone completely is black . He couldn't realize who is who and he need to find a solution how to cure his eyes .

Okay...I was able to follow the first paragraph, but things really fell apart in the second. I think I got the gist of your plot, but I honestly have no idea what kind of game this is supposed to be. If this is a story-focused game, you may be in trouble if this is the best you can write.

So, we have a pair of childhood friends who are separated when the girl's family sends her to an exclusive piano school. The boy swears to learn piano so he can join her there, but can only play and can't actually write music. He uses mystical powers in his eyes to steal others' music and get away with it, abuses the power too much and is hospitalized, and can now only see others as black silhouettes?

Even this story description poses some very odd questions. How is it that the boy has this power? Are things like that common in this world? Is he so focused on rejoining his friend that he won't use the powers for anything else?

And what is the game like? Is it an RPG? An action game? Are the boy's powers a gameplay gimmick as well? You need to organize your thoughts better and present a clearer picture of the kind of game you're making.

author=halibabica
I had a feeling English wasn't your first language. If you have a friend that can help you with it, maybe ask them to write the description for you. Include details about how the game plays. A story outline is good, but it needs more to appeal to players!

The year is 2044. After the events of World War III, the United States and European Union are no more, so utterly devastated they were by the nuclear fallout. The power vacuum in Northern America gave rise to the nation of the Pacific Union, with Neopolis as it's capital in South America.

While the world is now at peace, that does not mean that crime has ceased. The Neopolis police concern themselves with these crimes, of course, but the crimes are getting more violent by the day.

They send a special agent, Isolda Shinwara, to investigate these crimes. She finds traces of Drako, a drug that makes a person stronger and aggressive, yet still cunning enough to evade the police. As follows the case, she will find it leads to a much more dangerous, and corrupt, path that was originally thought.

While the world is still at peace, the Neopolis police still fights the crimes in it's city, even as they are getting more violent by the day.