LET'S WORK ON YOUR GAME DESCRIPTIONS!

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author=Marrend
@zoe: Okay, so, we know about Chojo. Does Mai know about Chojo's condition? I'm still not getting a good sense of what her role is, or what she's doing. Unless it was in an earlier post, and I'm simply being horribly forgetful. Which is totally possible.

@Cirrocumulus-Cloud: Is this game some kind of meta-narrative about giving birth? Like, the wisp is the soul, and the husk is the body, and when the two meet... a new life is born?


Er, anyway, I think it's more or less fine.

Uhm...no. None of that. ^^' It's more about life, death, the concept of reincarnation turned upside down and how people would act if they were thrown into an eerie situation without their former identities intact. How your actions have an impact on yourself and others, how morals can be ambigious. It's...really not a metaphor for giving birth. Multiple animalistic features are given to the characters that befit their personality (which is why Hershel is a deer), since that is what shapes those characters in their world. The player has a freedom of acting in a few different ways, which results in them getting different husks/appearances. It's a nice way to tackle a "you can guess how people are based on what they look like...or can you?" situation while making the eldritch horror less bizarre and more cute. I like cute. I like horror. I like cute animal-human-hybrids with eldritch features.

For example, this is what Hershel looks like, though it is still a huge WiP:

@Marrend
She does not, she knows absolutely nothing besides Chojo is very talented at drawing anime. She is able to perceive him as being a little "off", too. Chojo tells Mai to stay away from him, that he does not like her and that he never will. Mai does not listen to Chojo and goes looking for him online. It is pretty at first, but by the time Mai starts to piece together Chojo's condition, it is far to late for her. And she finds her self lost in his deadly radioactive Labyrinth which he claims has been his lifes work in progress for 20 some years. (his brain is two, so time is doubled).

Mai is bamboozled.

@Cirrocumulus-Cloud
I find it interesting, but confusing and hard to follow. You can be multiple husks?
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
21781
@Cirrocumulus-Cloud: I've usually perceived notions of reincarnation to be a zero-sum game. It's like the Lifestream of FF7. When one thing/person dies, the energy of that life is transferred elsewhere. Usually in a different form.

However, maaaaaybe this isn't the place to speak of such things. This thread's focus is on assisting people with their writing!
author=zoe
@Cirrocumulus-Cloud
I find it interesting, but confusing and hard to follow. You can be multiple husks?


Oh, maybe I should have been more specific about this! The player has a certain freedom within the game - how they want to act, who gains their loyalty, how they reply and shape their personality. (Since the player is You, Person Behind The Keyboard, essentially.) The Husk that they gain depends on those things. So, say you have a player who is sly, tricks the merchants in the game and lies to Hershel - then they might turn into a fox-like creature. If they behave in a shy, mellow way instead, panic easily and go with the flow, then they might turn into something akin to a sheep.

I plan to give the player two stages of developing their Husk, so they can end up with something more bizarre than just a sheep or fox. By making three lower and three upper body parts available to the player, they can end up with 9 different combinations in total. The Husk that the player gains affects their stats as well as the way some characters interact with the player. (If you look like a fox, people will obviously be wary of trusting you. Be a sheep and people don't really believe you if you proclaim you can protect them.) Once you have your Husk, that won't change throughout the rest of the game. If you want to be something else, you need to start a new file.

author=Marrend
@Cirrocumulus-Cloud: I've usually perceived notions of reincarnation to be a zero-sum game. It's like the Lifestream of FF7. When one thing/person dies, the energy of that life is transferred elsewhere. Usually in a different form.

However, maaaaaybe this isn't the place to speak of such things. This thread's focus is on assisting people with their writing!


Oh, the Final Fantasy way to do things is certainly one option. But there's also the idea of Karma being present and multiple other ideas surrounding reincarnation. (I find the concept itself very fascinating.) These characters haven't reincarnated yet, though. They try to achieve reincarnation, though maybe I should have been more specific about that in the description? The Forest that these characters find themselves in is essentially a bridge between the world that we know and the underworld and people go there and get split down to just their souls. Which is why the player starts out as a Wisp and nothing more. Do you think I should mention that somehwere in the description, or feed it to the player in small doses of information throughout the game?
author=zoe
@Cirrocumulus-Cloud
I find it interesting, but confusing and hard to follow. You can be multiple husks?

Oh, maybe I should have been more specific about this! The player has a certain freedom within the game - how they want to act, who gains their loyalty, how they reply and shape their personality. (Since the player is You, Person Behind The Keyboard, essentially.) The Husk that they gain depends on those things. So, say you have a player who is sly, tricks the merchants in the game and lies to Hershel - then they might turn into a fox-like creature. If they behave in a shy, mellow way instead, panic easily and go with the flow, then they might turn into something akin to a sheep.

I plan to give the player two stages of developing their Husk, so they can end up with something more bizarre than just a sheep or fox. By making three lower and three upper body parts available to the player, they can end up with 9 different combinations in total. The Husk that the player gains affects their stats as well as the way some characters interact with the player. (If you look like a fox, people will obviously be wary of trusting you. Be a sheep and people don't really believe you if you proclaim you can protect them.) Once you have your Husk, that won't change throughout the rest of the game. If you want to be something else, you need to start a new file.

author=Marrend
@Cirrocumulus-Cloud: I've usually perceived notions of reincarnation to be a zero-sum game. It's like the Lifestream of FF7. When one thing/person dies, the energy of that life is transferred elsewhere. Usually in a different form.

However, maaaaaybe this isn't the place to speak of such things. This thread's focus is on assisting people with their writing!

Oh, the Final Fantasy way to do things is certainly one option. But there's also the idea of Karma being present and multiple other ideas surrounding reincarnation. (I find the concept itself very fascinating.) These characters haven't reincarnated yet, though. They try to achieve reincarnation, though maybe I should have been more specific about that in the description? The Forest that these characters find themselves in is essentially a bridge between the world that we know and the underworld and people go there and get split down to just their souls. Which is why the player starts out as a Wisp and nothing more. Do you think I should mention that somewhere in the description, or feed it to the player in small doses of information throughout the game?

Edit: Sorry for the double post.
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
21781
author=Cirrocumulus-Cloud
The Forest that these characters find themselves in is essentially a bridge between the world that we know and the underworld and people go there and get split down to just their souls. Which is why the player starts out as a Wisp and nothing more. Do you think I should mention that somewhere in the description, or feed it to the player in small doses of information throughout the game?


I kinda feel that kind of information is best relayed via the game itself. Though, if you do want to mention the nature of the Forest in future blog (a postmortem?), that's probably fine.
In this game you connect to a server and play the mmorpg.
It is called RPGTOWN because you are in a rpg town. It has fighting in it ,
and quests and monsters and exploration. It is 2D i am sory if you wanted 3D
but 2D mmorpg are good too.
There are dungeons and social interactions with some of the NPC's.(the non applicable people) Some mini games and map integration of secret items.

STORY:
_______________________________________________________________________________
This about you arrive in new region as adventurer. You meet lot of NPC's and find you way through the world and it lot to axplore.

The player also seek grid world which appear randomly. This world player fight enemies and struggle against other people or environment. The grid a place that player very interested. Grid let you change people on others.
Everyone has level of individual characters and the game level reset and the game is very nice sprites and the game is very good and very good game and I love it the game is very good. Twitter #RPGtown
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
.influcene from 7 bit mmo.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
________________________________________________________________________________
In future want to make it so that it is possible to become mayor/ have pets. I started work on this in 7 .5 . 2019 .. p.s. please let this game be on here ;(
so far not much progress ;( 001 BUGGY !!...Game is farily easy to play.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pls do this story for meof match environment
Tutorial beach
First town lake
Second town marshland
third town. Snowy caves
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
21781
Maybe it's just me, but, maybe, you could go with...

You arrive in a new land, bright eyed and with a child's heart, seeking adventure. Rumored to be in this reigon, the Grid World is an object that allows it's user to alter people, if not the world itself. That, among who knows how many other great treasures, are just waiting to be found!


RPG Town is a massively multiplayer role-playing game where players start in a small town, but have the potential for growth. Climb the social ladder, and become the mayor! Achieve fame and glory through finding artifacts! Acquire the Grid World in-game and alter reality itself (ie: make your own content)!

...this? Though, I could be taking what you mean by "grid world", and the phrase "grid lets you change people on others" completely out of whack.

*Edit: The stuff below the paragraph starting with "In (the) future..." I'm generally disregarding, as that information would be part of a dev-blog.
I was suggested bu the admin to ask help to fix this description below for my game submission:



presents



You can download it by visiting its official website:
http://www.monsterworldrpg.com/

Watch here the videos:
https://www.youtube.com/user/MonsterWorldRPG/

E-mail:
info AT monsterworldrpg DOT com

SUMMARY
GAME NAME: Monster World RPG
DEVELOPER: MAX TEAM & MOTA
TOOL USED: RpgMaker2003
RELEASE TYPE: full free game (ver. 1.0)
CUSTOM MENU: yes
LANGUAGE: english
SIZE: 148 MB (zipped)


About Monster World RPG
Monster World RPG is a fan game inspired by the Monster World (Wonder Boy in the US) series, made by SEGA and Westone for Arcade, Sega Master System and Genesis.
It's no a sequel, prequel or remake, but a brand new game in rpg style instead of platform.

The game you can download here is the COMPLETE VERSION, a complex rpg game developed with RpgMaker2003 with many different monsters.

Along with Max, the main hero, there's other five characters, which can be inserted or removed from the team as you wish.
Also there's many sidequests: all of them are kept in a special “book menu”, so you won't forget them.
The main hero also can be customized with different spells, magic weapons, and more.

The full version of the game is only the one you can download form its official website: the other version you can find around the net are old incomplete demos.

SCREENSHOTS







STORY
The place is Aqua Kingdom.
The hero of this story, Max, lives in the Valley of Peace near Purapril, the capital.
Since his friend Shion left for Purapril to do his knight duties, Max life got boring.
A morning while hunting in the woods he found a strange creature he never seen before.
Unsure about the creature's "taste" he decided to avoid making it his meal, but keep it as his pet.
Now that he has a "party member" he decide that's time for him to leave the valley for a more exciting life.
He decide to go to Purapril to meet again his friend Shion but while attemping to enter into the city two guards block his way forcing him to travel somewhere else.
Where will Max go now? Will Max be able to enter in town? And what is happening there?
Unbeknowst to him his "adventurous life" has already begun . . .

CHARACTERS



MAX
The hero of the game. He's a fighter, so he won't learn new skills by leveling up. Instead, he gets new skills by learning them from other people, by equipping certain equipment or getting special items.

PEPE
Pepe is a strange animal that no one knows its species or place of origin. He can only say “pepe”, so Max gave him this name. His species is unknown so he's considered an “odd pet”. Pepe starts with some skills and learn more as his level increases. He can't use any equipment, but only attacking with his claws.

PRISCILLA
Priscilla is a small fairy from Alsedo, the fairy village. She lives with Eleanora, the fairy queen. Being a fairy she mainly knows healing and assist spells.

SHABO
Shabo is a death god, wich is actually a species, not a deity. Shabo knows many spells, mainly attack spells but also some assist spells. If used wisely he can be a great ally.

HOTTA
Hotta is a dwarf from Lilypad, the dwarf village. He can't use spells but istead uses special skills. He's a very strong character and can greatly damage the enemies. His only weakness is that he's the slowest character.

JUNIOR
Junior is a baby dragon from Begonia. He may be just a baby, but due to his dragon lineage his power is great. He's almost as strong as Hotta and is faster, but has lower resistances and less skills.

About MAX TEAM
MAX TEAM is a two men team composed by:
Massimo - author, storyboarder, chara designer, final tester, main advertiser;
Fernando - main programmer, tiles & faceset designer, music & sound, beta tester, final scripter.
MAX TEAM has also many friends who gave help listed in the credits of the game.

FEATURES
• One thing that I hate of rpgmaker games are the charasets: they are to small and so the characters looks too much unexpressive. So we used the characters slots at their limits and sometimes for bigger characters we used more than a slot.


• In rpg usually you got experience point or buy equipement in order to increase your party stats. This can be entertaining at the beginning, but later it becomes repetitive. For this reason, even if we kept the experience and equipment system, we decided to put in the game a way to customize your hero to give him different skills and map abilities in order to reach different zones (like castlevania or metroid).


• Another weak points of rpgmaker videogames is that being them "free games" there's no manual or other things. Plus they lacks menu that usually are present in professional games. MWRPG has an online guide.


• Last, a common rpg game engine will become rapidly repetitive and unappealing. Due to this MWRPG has many platform elements and minigames.


• In order to advance in the game is more important to find secrets and upgrade items more than levelling up: in this way you have not to waste an entire day in fighting monsters.


PEOPLE WHO LIKED OUR GAME (BETA):
http://www.idealsoftblog.it/2010/02/monster-world-rpg-wonder-boy-diventa-un.html
https://fanboydestroy.com/2012/10/12/max-teams-monster-world-rpg-taking-a-sega-classic-to-the-next-level/
https://fanboydestroy.com/2013/12/05/monster-world-rpg-update-bug-zappers-working-overtime/
http://computerplusadventure.blogspot.it/2010/03/monster-world-rpg.html
http://forum.outerspace.com.br/index.php?threads/monster-world-rpg.65891/


FINAL WORS: READ PLEASE !!!
IT'S IMPORTANT !!!
Please feel free to comment the game on the forum as much as you want.
Your feedback is important for us.
In any case, to simplify our work for a future release of a version 1.1 of the game, you should send your comments to us to the following email address:
info AT monsterworldrpg DOT com

Thanks in advance and enjoy our game!!!


Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
21781
@Monster_World_RPG: For one thing, you do not need screenshots in the description. They would be on the gamepage's Images tab. I would also recommend moving the character descriptions into a separate tab once the gamepage has been accepted. This is mostly optional, but, doing so removes a lot of clutter. Which, if I must be honest, is what this description is coming across as.

Moving right along, the meat of the description could probably look like...
The place is Aqua Kingdom. The hero of this story, Max, lives in the Valley of Peace near Purapril, the capital. Since his friend Shion left for Purapril to do his knight duties, Max's life got boring.

One morning, while hunting in the woods, he found a strange creature he never seen before. Unsure about the creature's nature, he decided to avoid making it his meal, but keep it as his pet. The pet proved a valuable ally, making Max decide to leave the valley for a more exciting life.

The intent of his journey was to visit Shion in the capital, but, the capital does not allow just anybody inside. He needed a pass, or some manner of identification. Where will Max go now? Will Max be able to enter in town? And what is happening there?

Unbeknownst to him his life has merely just begun!


Monster World RPG is a fan game inspired by the Monster World (Wonder Boy in the US) series, made by SEGA and Westone for Arcade, Sega Master System and Genesis. This game is not a sequel, prequel, or remake! It is, however, an RPG designed in the style/lore of those games.

The game you can download here is the COMPLETE VERSION, developed with RPRMaker 2003 with many different monsters. You may also visit our official site for the full version of the game.

Aside from Max, there will be other five characters, which can be inserted or removed from the team as you wish. Also there's many sidequests, which are kept track in the "Book Menu", to help players along. The main hero also can be customized with different spells, magic weapons, and more.

Please feel free to comment the game on the forum as much as you want! Your feedback is important for us! To simplify our work for a future release of a version 1.1 of the game, please send your comments to us to the following email address:
info AT monsterworldrpg DOT com

Thanks in advance and enjoy our game!!!



...this. Though, I'm a little confused by the differential between what the "complete version" would have versus what the "full version" would have?
Metal Knight Alpha Gear
Is about the modern world rocked by an event, that sends the main character to another world where human's are gone and the races of this new world are advanced and space faring.

You start off as young women named rebbeca cain, self-proclaimed pro gamer, and genius, in the world. re noun scientist Veka star, her best friend who she has not seen for six years. There would is about to be turned upside down as rebbca is getting ready for a lan party,but vekka comes out of the blue after six years to show rebbeca something world breaking, which will forever change both their fates.

"In this RPG you play the role of a hero whose fate is determined by your choices and the bonds you build with your comrades to determine the fate of the universe in the process."
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
21781
@Benku: If my understanding is correct, I would suggest...

Rebbeca Cain is a self-proclaimed professional gamer, and genius. When setting up a LAN party, she receives a message from a friend she hasn't been in contact with in six years.

Opening the message sens Rebbeca to an alternate dimension. One where humanity does not exist, and what races do exist are highly advanced and space-faring. Your choices will determine the fate of Rebbeca, as well as the fate of this new universe. The bonds you build, and with who, will be more important than ever before!


...this.
author=Marrend
@Monster_World_RPG: For one thing, you do not need screenshots in the description. They would be on the gamepage's Images tab. I would also recommend moving the character descriptions into a separate tab once the gamepage has been accepted. This is mostly optional, but, doing so removes a lot of clutter. Which, if I must be honest, is what this description is coming across as.

Moving right along, the meat of the description could probably look like...
The place is Aqua Kingdom. The hero of this story, Max, lives in the Valley of Peace near Purapril, the capital. Since his friend Shion left for Purapril to do his knight duties, Max's life got boring.

One morning, while hunting in the woods, he found a strange creature he never seen before. Unsure about the creature's nature, he decided to avoid making it his meal, but keep it as his pet. The pet proved a valuable ally, making Max decide to leave the valley for a more exciting life.

The intent of his journey was to visit Shion in the capital, but, the capital does not allow just anybody inside. He needed a pass, or some manner of identification. Where will Max go now? Will Max be able to enter in town? And what is happening there?

Unbeknownst to him his life has merely just begun!


Monster World RPG is a fan game inspired by the Monster World (Wonder Boy in the US) series, made by SEGA and Westone for Arcade, Sega Master System and Genesis. This game is not a sequel, prequel, or remake! It is, however, an RPG designed in the style/lore of those games.

The game you can download here is the COMPLETE VERSION, developed with RPRMaker 2003 with many different monsters. You may also visit our official site for the full version of the game.

Aside from Max, there will be other five characters, which can be inserted or removed from the team as you wish. Also there's many sidequests, which are kept track in the "Book Menu", to help players along. The main hero also can be customized with different spells, magic weapons, and more.

Please feel free to comment the game on the forum as much as you want! Your feedback is important for us! To simplify our work for a future release of a version 1.1 of the game, please send your comments to us to the following email address:
info AT monsterworldrpg DOT com

Thanks in advance and enjoy our game!!!




...this. Though, I'm a little confused by the differential between what the "complete version" would have versus what the "full version" would have?



THank you.
complete... full...
I mean the game is not an alpha, not a beta and not a demo.
WHen you play it you can play the whole story and extra until its very end.
If there will be other version they will simply be a 1.1 with unseen bugs fixed.

Thanks again!
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
21781
author=Monster_World_RPG
complete... full...
I mean the game is not an alpha, not a beta and not a demo.
WHen you play it you can play the whole story and extra until its very end.
If there will be other version they will simply be a 1.1 with unseen bugs fixed.


In that case, it doesn't seem like the versions would be wildly different. So, this..

The game you can download here is the complete version, developed with RPRMaker 2003 with many different monsters. You may also visit our official site as an for the full version of the game.


...would probably turn into...

The game you can download here, or on our official site, is the complete version of the game, developed with RPRMaker 2003 with many different monsters.


...this.
My submission for Robo Clash is still pending but I am worried my description might cause it to get denied. Here my description.


-2852 A.D.-


The world had become extremely advanced. The space program was very common now and so was space travel. Upon traveling through space a new planet was discovered outside the earth’s solar system. As satellites and probes were sent to take pictures of the planet a history changing discovery was made. The planet had intelligent life. The inhabitants of the planet were extremely advanced. They looked exactly like humans. This lead to the people of Earth wanting to interact with them. So they contacted them and surprisingly they spoke English and other Earth languages. The people called the planet Kaidia. They explained that they had been to Earth several thousand years ago during ancient Egyptian times through ancient Greece and Rome. Therefore their planet was similar to Earth in certain ways. However there were also aliens called Ravians with the ability to turn into a giant monster like form. The Ravians were also planet hunters. They had taken over almost every planet in the Kaiden Solar System that had intelligent life. It turned out that planet Kaiden was supervised by the Ravians and they were not free either. The people of Earth couldn’t understand why the Kaidens wouldn’t fight back. The only answer that they got from the Kaidens was; “You don’t understand. They are powerful and can even survive in space without any air or anything else.”
This answer made the Earthlings curious. How could anything intelligent that is, survive in space without any air or anything else? This curiosity lead to stupidity. The Earthlings then sent out satellites and probes to planet Ravis to study them. The Ravians found out about this and went to Earth so that they could take the planet. Their giant monster like form was no match for Earth’s military. No matter what they did or what weapons they used the Ravians wouldn’t fall. So Earth was lost to the humans.

-2992 A.D.-

Earth was now under supervision of planet Ravis and was no longer free. However there was still hope for Earth to correct their mistake that they made back in the 29th century. They contacted planet Kaidia and surprisingly they were willing to help since they both wanted freedom. So The World Freedom Force was created to fight against the Ravians. With the help of planet Kaidia they gave them life forms that were giant robots that could be piloted by people who could give the robots’ orders, and were able to take out Ravians in a couple blows. Earth and Kaidia then announced that they were rebelling against the Ravians and war started. No, one knew much about the robotic lifeforms who were helping the pilots, but they did promise that they would set them free after the war.

-3012 A.D. Present-

Now that there is a World Freedom Force against the Ravians with the giant robotic lifeforms. Earth and Kaidia began recruiting people to pilot the robots. They had to be eighteen or older and have a high I.Q. in order to operate the robots. So now begins the battle for freedom.

Anyway I can explain this better if it's bad?
Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
21781
I don't think it's bad, per say. Maybe a little repetitive in parts. Let's see what I can come up with.

-2852 A.D.-
Great technological strides have seen space flight a more common method of travel. In the inevitable exploration of other solar systems, humanity comes across a planet with intelligent life! What was more of a surprise is that they spoke English, and looked like humans!

The Kaidens explained that their world was similar to Earth in many ways, and they visited humble Earth during ancient times. The Kaidiens also spoke of a race known as Ravians. With the ability to turn into giant monsters, they had taken control of every planet the Kaidiens tried to colonize. Even Kaidia, itself, was governed by the Ravians.

Humanity did not understand why they did not fight back. The Kaidens did their best to assure them that the race was exceptionally powerful, and could survive the extremities of space itself. Humanity was curious, though. They needed to know for themselves what the Kaidens were up against.

The message sent was one of peace. The Ravians had other plans. Their monster forms were no match against Earth's defenses. Thus, Earth was also enslaved.


-2992 A.D.-
The almost century-and-a-half of Ravian enslavement have been harsh. However, there was now one faint glimmer of hope for both Earthlings and Kaidens. In secret, they have developed giant mechinoid robots that could stand toe-to-toe against the Ravians. The alliance, calling itself the World Freedom Force was also made, with the mission to train pilots, Human and Kaiden alike, to take down the oppressive Ravian reign.


-3012 A.D. Present-
The World Freedom Force is in full swing, producing mechs and pilots alike. The battle for freedom begins in earnest!

*Edit: If the mechs are biological constructs, does that mean they have to be grown/raised, rather than built? Is it more of a cybernetics thing, where it's half machine, half biological entity? Do they have their own intelligence?

*Edit2: I kinda think the mechs being machines makes the most sense in this context, but, it's your game/idea!
Thank you Marrend. The mechs are alien life forms that can be piloted. The closet example would be Transformers. The mechs can talk, and walk on their own, but I'll edit that in there after the page gets accepted.
From the beginning of time man has been Festinated with the solar system. And has wanted to explore the planets of outer space. however they could Only learn so much. after many years of studying time has gone by slow Then faster as people age and latter die. the year is now 2100 and some people Now live on the space station above the earth. all was at peace for a time. however A new ruler has come to make the people on earth an the space station a living Hell. they call them slfes dark nova. they are now you're new rulers. so a hero Must rise to stop this evil government an save there people. choose you're path will you pray or will fight. because the end of the world in here.

Marrend
Guardian of the Description Thread
21781
Here's my suggestion for you, redwall:

From the beginning of time, Man has been fascinated with the solar system, and have wanted to explore the planets of outer space. However, they could only learn so much.

The year now is 2100, and some people have come to live on a space station orbiting Earth. For a time, all was peaceful. However, an alien race came to make the people of Earth, and those on board the station a living hell. Calling themselves Dark Nove, they have become humanity's new rulers. A hero must rise to stop this evil government, and save the people! Choose your path: will you pray or will you fight? The end of the world is nigh!

Hi! My last submission was dennied due to grammar and sentence structure.

"Jennifer Conner suffers from incessant premonitions in her dreams since a tragic day of February, that allow her to see future events accurately. During a night of September, she sees the kidnapping of an innocent girl in a dream, and her vision becomes true the next day. This will make Jennifer investigate Whitefields, to save her. However, as each one of us, she won’t be free of mistakes.
The choices she makes, will be crucial in her search."

If someone can help me with this It would be awesome.